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'Apoy ka ba?' and other killer pick-up lines
By ROSETTI RIVERA
For the singles out there, presumably searching even on Valentine's Day, it's as good a time as any to practice a few pick-up lines. They come with no guarantees. (By the way, "Kasi 'alab' you" is the other half of the pick-up line in the headline. Would you fall for that one?) For maximum effect, read aloud â with feeling! âAre you on Facebook? âCoz Iâd definitely click Like." âOops, I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?" âIf I were an Azkal, then you are my goal." âSorry, I forgot your name, can I call you mine?" âWell, here I am! What were your two other wishes?" âIf I were a gardener, I'd put your tulips and my tulips together." âHi, you got raisins? No? Well, how about a date?" âMy love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in." âYou must be a thief, âcoz you stole my heart." âHi, I'm Right... Mr. Right. You were looking for me?" âIs your name Gillette? Coz youâre the best a man can get!" âIâm not drunk. Iâm just intoxicated by you." âYour legs must be tired, coz youâve been running through my mind all night." âYou must be Jamaican, coz Jamaican me crazy." âYouâre like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life." âHi, my name is (your name), and you are... gorgeous!" âAre you a tamale? Coz you're hot!" âHi, have I seen you before? Oh yes, now I remember, in my dreams!" âIâm invisible. Can you see me? How about tomorrow night?" âAm I in heaven? Or do you just look like an angel?" âYour dad mustâve been retarded, âcoz you are special." âYour dad must be a terrorist, âcoz yoh da bomb!" âWas your dad an alien? âCoz honey, thereâs nothing else like you on planet Earth!" âDo you have a map? âCoz I keep getting lost in your eyes." âAm I a bad shooter? âCoz I keep on missing you." âHi, you must be the devil? âCoz you're hot as hell!" âHi, Iâm Batman. Do you wanna see my batmobile?" âHi, I'm Superman. Can you read my mind?" âHi, you look a lot like my next girlfriend." âWanna bet 100 bucks you're gonna turn me down?" âKiss me if Iâm wrong⦠but isn't your name (take a guess)?" âLife without you would be like a broken pencil... pointless." âHi, I know Iâm a guy but I want to be Alice, coz your body's a Wonderland." In Tagalog O, Tagalog naman tayo, dahil mas matindi raw humirit ang mga Pinoy: âMiss, Google ka ba? Kasi, nasa iyo ang lahat ng hinahanap ko." âMiss, album ka ba? Kasi, single ako, eh." âApoy ka ba? Kasi âalabâ you." âPara kang traffic sa EDSA! âCoz I just can't move on!" âTatakbo ka ba sa eleksyon? Kasi, botong-boto sa yo ang parents ko." âIce ka ba? Crush kita eh." âPara kang tindera ng sigarilyo. You give me âhopeâ and âmoreâ..." âCalculator ka ba? Kasi, sa 'yo pa lang, solved na ko." âKeyboard ka ba? Kasi type kita." âPustiso ka ba? âCoz I canât smile without you." âKung posporo ka at posporo ako, eh di, match tayo!" âDi mo pa nga ako binabato, tinatamaan na 'ko sa yo." âPulis ba tatay mo? Kasi, nahuli mo ang puso ko." âMatalino ka ba talaga? Sige nga, sagutin mo 'ko!" âButi pa ang email, may attachment." âDi ka naman camera, pero tuwing nakikita kita, napapangiti ako." âDalawang beses lang naman kita gusto makasama... ânowâ and âforever.â" âInii-SMALL ka ba nila? Di bale, inii-BIG naman kita!" âHindi lahat ng buhay ay buhay. Tingnan mo 'ko â buhay nga pero patay na patay naman sa 'yo!" âKodigo ka ba? Kasi, ikaw ang sagot sa lahat ng tanong ko, eh." âKakapagod kasing umupo, eh. Pwede bang tayo na lang?" âHindi ka ba nalulungkot, babe? Nag-iisa ka lang kase sa puso ko eh." âTop view, side view, bottom view, kahit anong view, I love view." âTulisan ba tatay mo? Kasi nabihag mo puso ko." âMagaling ka ba sa algebra? Can you substitute my âxâ?" âMasasabi mo bang bobo ako, kung ikaw lamang ang laman ng utak ko?" âAmo ba kita? Bakit inaalila mo ang puso ko?" âCentrum ka ba? Kasi, you make my life complete!" âAlam mo ba ang pinakamasarap na feeling sa buong mundo? Ang maka-feeling ka!" âMiss, mekaniko ka ba? Kasi, ikaw na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay ko." âMiss, pwede ka bang maging side-car? Single kasi ako." And that's all folks! Happy hearts day to you all! And remember... it's ValentiNe's, not ValenTIMES, day.â MRT/VS, GMA News Disclaimer: The author of this article shall not be liable for any disaster that may result from a reader's attempt to use any of these pick-up lines.
Tags: valentines, valentinesday
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