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'Apoy ka ba?' and other killer pick-up lines

February 13, 2011 5:40pm

For the singles out there, presumably searching even on Valentine's Day, it's as good a time as any to practice a few pick-up lines. They come with no guarantees.

(By the way, "Kasi 'alab' you" is the other half of the pick-up line in the headline. Would you fall for that one?)

For maximum effect, read aloud – with feeling!

“Are you on Facebook? ‘Coz I’d definitely click Like."

“Oops, I think I lost my number. Can I have yours?"

“If I were an Azkal, then you are my goal."

“Sorry, I forgot your name, can I call you mine?"

“Well, here I am! What were your two other wishes?"

“If I were a gardener, I'd put your tulips and my tulips together."

“Hi, you got raisins? No? Well, how about a date?"

“My love for you is like diarrhea. I just can't hold it in."

“You must be a thief, ‘coz you stole my heart."

“Hi, I'm Right... Mr. Right. You were looking for me?"

“Is your name Gillette? Coz you’re the best a man can get!"

“I’m not drunk. I’m just intoxicated by you."

“Your legs must be tired, coz you’ve been running through my mind all night."

“You must be Jamaican, coz Jamaican me crazy."

“You’re like a dictionary. You add meaning to my life."

“Hi, my name is (your name), and you are... gorgeous!"

“Are you a tamale? Coz you're hot!"

“Hi, have I seen you before? Oh yes, now I remember, in my dreams!"

“I’m invisible. Can you see me? How about tomorrow night?"

“Am I in heaven? Or do you just look like an angel?"

“Your dad must’ve been retarded, ‘coz you are special."

“Your dad must be a terrorist, ‘coz yoh da bomb!"

“Was your dad an alien? ‘Coz honey, there’s nothing else like you on planet Earth!"

“Do you have a map? ‘Coz I keep getting lost in your eyes."

“Am I a bad shooter? ‘Coz I keep on missing you."

“Hi, you must be the devil? ‘Coz you're hot as hell!"

“Hi, I’m Batman. Do you wanna see my batmobile?"

“Hi, I'm Superman. Can you read my mind?"

“Hi, you look a lot like my next girlfriend."

“Wanna bet 100 bucks you're gonna turn me down?"

“Kiss me if I’m wrong… but isn't your name (take a guess)?"

“Life without you would be like a broken pencil... pointless."

“Hi, I know I’m a guy but I want to be Alice, coz your body's a Wonderland."

In Tagalog

O, Tagalog naman tayo, dahil mas matindi raw humirit ang mga Pinoy:

“Miss, Google ka ba? Kasi, nasa iyo ang lahat ng hinahanap ko."

“Miss, album ka ba? Kasi, single ako, eh."

“Apoy ka ba? Kasi ‘alab’ you."

“Para kang traffic sa EDSA! ‘Coz I just can't move on!"

“Tatakbo ka ba sa eleksyon? Kasi, botong-boto sa yo ang parents ko."

“Ice ka ba? Crush kita eh."

“Para kang tindera ng sigarilyo. You give me ‘hope’ and ‘more’..."

“Calculator ka ba? Kasi, sa 'yo pa lang, solved na ko."

“Keyboard ka ba? Kasi type kita."

“Pustiso ka ba? ‘Coz I can’t smile without you."

“Kung posporo ka at posporo ako, eh di, match tayo!"

“Di mo pa nga ako binabato, tinatamaan na 'ko sa yo."

“Pulis ba tatay mo? Kasi, nahuli mo ang puso ko."

“Matalino ka ba talaga? Sige nga, sagutin mo 'ko!"

“Buti pa ang email, may attachment."

“Di ka naman camera, pero tuwing nakikita kita, napapangiti ako."

“Dalawang beses lang naman kita gusto makasama... ‘now’ and ‘forever.’"

“Inii-SMALL ka ba nila? Di bale, inii-BIG naman kita!"

“Hindi lahat ng buhay ay buhay. Tingnan mo 'ko – buhay nga pero patay na patay naman sa 'yo!"

“Kodigo ka ba? Kasi, ikaw ang sagot sa lahat ng tanong ko, eh."

“Kakapagod kasing umupo, eh. Pwede bang tayo na lang?"

“Hindi ka ba nalulungkot, babe? Nag-iisa ka lang kase sa puso ko eh."

“Top view, side view, bottom view, kahit anong view, I love view."

“Tulisan ba tatay mo? Kasi nabihag mo puso ko."

“Magaling ka ba sa algebra? Can you substitute my ‘x’?"

“Masasabi mo bang bobo ako, kung ikaw lamang ang laman ng utak ko?"

“Amo ba kita? Bakit inaalila mo ang puso ko?"

“Centrum ka ba? Kasi, you make my life complete!"

“Alam mo ba ang pinakamasarap na feeling sa buong mundo? Ang maka-feeling ka!"

“Miss, mekaniko ka ba? Kasi, ikaw na ang nagpapatakbo ng buhay ko."

“Miss, pwede ka bang maging side-car? Single kasi ako."

And that's all folks! Happy hearts day to you all! And remember... it's ValentiNe's, not ValenTIMES, day.– MRT/VS, GMA News

Disclaimer: The author of this article shall not be liable for any disaster that may result from a reader's attempt to use any of these pick-up lines.
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