
The Clash alumna Miriam Manalo has bravely shared her past struggles, including the heartbreaking loss of her two daughters.
In the first episode of Anthony Rosaldo's AR Records on YouTube, Miriam opened up about her experiences as a mother of children who had spinal muscular atrophy, a neuromuscular disease affecting spinal nerves and muscle function.
She candidly expressed her feelings of sadness as she watched her daughters struggle while other children played freely. Miriam also revealed the pain she endured after losing her children, despite the sacrifices she made for them during pregnancy and childbirth.
"So naawa ako sa mga anak ko, siyempre alam mo 'yung ang hirap manganak noong una. Tapos cesarean pa ako and then 'yung hirap maglihi, grabe 'yung paglilihi ko, hindi basta-basta."
She added, "Sobrang selan talaga ako magbuntis, kaya alam mo 'yun, tapos biglang mawawala na lang?"
Reflecting on her time in the ICU with her daughter, where they stayed for nearly two months, Miriam shared the immense stress and hopelessness she felt while focusing solely on their well-being.
"Almost two months kami sa ICU and every day ako doon, once a week lang ako maligo kasi nandoon lang ako, nakabantay ako sa anak ko. Grabe 'yung stress level ko noong time na iyon," she said.
Despite her best efforts, she tragically lost Layla Elleina at eight months and Lilah Emilia at one year and four months.
Miriam found solace in her belief that her daughters are in a better place. She continues to speak to them, expressing her regrets and wishes for their happiness and peace.
"Lagi ko naman silang kinakausap and I always tell them that I'm sorry I wasn't a perfect mom. I felt like hindi ko naibigay 'yung best ko. 'Yung marami akong regrets din na, 'How I wish I did this, I did that,' kahit feeling ko na tinodo ko pero hindi pa pala. It's so hard na makita ko sila ganiyan, I cannot imagine myself on that situation, that position again. Kasi ayoko nang makitang hirap ang mga anak ko , sobrang hirap lang. I just want them to be happy. Enjoy nila 'yung life nila with Jesus. 'Wag na nila ako aalahanin na. I'm okay, I'll be okay. I accept ko na ano 'yung mga naging reality and basta dami ko gustong sabihin," she tearly said.
After stepping back from the public eye and social media following her daughters' passing, Miriam adopted a son, Dion. Later, she gave birth and welcomed another child, Khalil Theo.
Watch the interview below
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