Around GMA

Article Inside Page

Acceptance must first start with one's self, and then followed by one's family. A perfect example of this is a person coming out to their family as a member of the LGBTQIA+
(Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Pansexual, Transgender, Genderqueer, Queer, Intersexed, Agender, Asexual, and Ally) community.

Weekly news magazine show Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho interviewed psychologist Joanna Herrera, and according to her, parents of gay children should be careful in showing signs of rejection to their children who just came out of the closet, even if it's well-intentioned as this can cause emotional stress.

Herrera gave a few reminders to parents on guiding their children in embracing their sexuality while rearing them properly.

1. Remain open to gender discussion

Talking about gender and sexuality in an honest and non-judgmental manner can encourage a child to be more open to their family.

Herrerra said, “Kung napapansin ng magulang na 'yung emerging sexuality tends to be lesbian, or gay, or bisexual, siguro magandang maging open discussion.

"Siguro minsan ang problema ng magulang, siguro hindi nila alam kung paano ito pag-usapan."

2. Be supportive and not corrective

Herrera also suggested seeking help from a counselor if unsure how to lead a conversation about their child's gender.

She also noted the parents' way of showing support should not be corrective, and recognizing that being part of the LGBTQIA+ community is not wrong.

"Maybe seeking the help of a counselor who's well educated in LGBT issues para ma-coach rin 'yung magulang kung papano i-bring up sa anak in a way that's supportive, hindi corrective.

"Kasi, hindi tayo naniniwala na misbehavior ang pagiging homosexual., it's an identity.”

3. Help your child find a responsible role model

Having a role model is important in developing good character.

Herrera suggested helping a child find a stable and responsible role model
for their children to emulate.

A role model who has also been through the same difficulties can make it easier for a child to relate.

“Marami siguro tayong kakilalang mga gays, lesbians, bisexuals who live healthy lives, who are productive members of our society, who have fully accepted and embraced their sexual identities and who has wisdom.

"Ano ba 'yung naging karanasan nila? Siguro magandang mai-connect 'yung bata na nag-i-struggle with their sexual identity sa isang healthy, mature individual na nakaranas din nung experience, 'yung struggle.”

4. Educate yourself about the LGBTQIA+ community

Herrera also reminds parents to take initiative in educating themselves about the LGBTQIA+ community.

“Dapat 'yung communication to the child has to be, 'Kung anuman 'yung emerging identity mo, I will support you," she said.

"So siguro yung message na 'We will journey in this together and I will do my best to also educate myself in this process.'

"Education, pag-unawa, pagmamahal. Let's draw upon the wisdom of our LGBT community," she added.

5. Do not tease the child

For most gay children who have not completely accepted who they are, the word 'bading' has a negative connotation.

So, Herrera encourages parents to avoid labelling their children.

While teasing may be a form of showing closeness and endearment, a parent should always be sensitive to their children's feelings to avoid coming off as hurtful.

She said, “Within the LGBT community, maaari silang magtawagan na, 'Oy, bading!'

"Pero ang assumption noon, may sense of acceptance and camaraderie within the community. Ibang-iba 'yun.

"Sa mga bata, siguro more often than not, hurtful 'yung message na 'yun because of the tone.

"Kasi 'yung tone is, 'Bakit ka ganyan?' So, parang kung ang underlying tone is, 'That's an abnormality.'

"Then that's hurtful, it's hurtful and it's not healthy.”

6. Accept your child's sexuality as something normal

Coming out to one's family takes a lot of courage, while the rest of the world still struggles adapting to gender norms, a parent should
guide their children with acceptance and be present as a source of strength and love.

Herrera said, “The keyword is acceptance talaga. We know na sa lahat naman ng mga magulang, whatever they do for their kids, it's always coming from a sense of love, wanting to protect them, wanting to care for them."

She also spoke of the effects of a parents' rejection, "But unfortunately, [kapag] nare-reject ang bata dun sa nagiging emerging sexual identity nila--it results in more problems, more mental health problems, more depression, more anxiety, more health issues."

"So, kung iisipin natin ang best interest of the child, dapat may acceptance and support for the emerging sexuality.”

Eat Bulaga's "Bawal Judgmental" segment also shed light on parenting styles for children from the LGBTQIA+.

In the January 4 episode of the noontime show, several guests shared their coming out stories with their families, who also appeared on the program.

Clinical psychologist Dawnie dela Cruz said that though acceptance is a process, knowing that a person's character is what truly matters.

A family will also become more bonded if everyone is welcoming of their gender identities.

Dela Cruz said, "Acceptance will follow, dadaanan po talaga tayo sa proseso.

"Mas magiging maayos ang relasyon at the end of the day, na makita nating masaya 'yung mahal natin sa buhay kaysa eventually mawalan tayo ng mahal sa buhay.

"Ang mga mapapayo ko lang din sa mga families na may nag-come out, hindi natin sila kailangan kaawaan. In fact, mas dapat natin silang hangaan lalo na ngayong nagkaroon sila ng lakas ng loob na mag-open up."

She concluded, "Ang kailangan nila ngayon is love, acceptance, respect, and support."

For more lifestyle content, head out to GMA's Lifestyle page.

Celebrities who have LGBTQIA+ children

K Brosas daughter, Crystal, comes out as a lesbian