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Content creator Benedict Cua candidly opened up about the mental health issues he faced recently and what did he to do overcome it.

In a 20-minute video, Benedict first opened up about his "very low self-esteem" growing up since he has a lot of insecurities.

"Hindi siya halata ngayon, alam ko," he said in the beginning.

When he was growing up, Benedict was short, had a terrible set of teeth, generous amount of acne on his face, poor sense of fashion, bad at English, had no talent, and other things.

"Sarili kong insecurities naman to but slowly, I was able to overcome these one by one. I may not be tall, I may not have a perfect skin, but I compensated by excelling in school," he explained.

Slowly, he felt better and built his self-esteem. In fact, he became a content creator with over 1.7 million subscribers on YouTube, and worked with several brands in the Philippines.

Until he became anxious about vlogging, which, for the longest time, he loved to do.

"Dumating sa point na yes na lang ako ng yes sa lahat ng project na ibato sa akin, or lahat ng offers, or lahat ng opportunities na nakita ko kasi blessing, bakit mo papakawalan 'yung blessing, 'di ba?"

Admittedly, Ben made a mistake of accepting the partnerships that had been presented to him, knowing that he was also feeling pressured to just put out one video a week.

"It becomes harder because you would run out of ideas. You become super conscious of how to please your audience. So paano natin iba-balance 'yun both? How do we make it easier to make videos and create authentic content at the same time? You can't. At least, that's how I felt,” he said.

"Ang nangyari, I wanted to reach my dreams faster, so I accepted all of it. I didn't have time to create content purely for fun."

Because of what he was feeling, Ben had an existential crisis, doubting himself in the process. Nevertheless, he continued making videos since he needed to make money.

In fact, even before he went to Hawaii to have a hiatus, he accepted more partnerships that required him to post four videos in a week.

"Imagine-in mo, sobrang na-i-stress ako to produce one vlog a week, ang nangayri noon, kailangan kong mag-produce ng apat na vlogs for brands in one week.

"Hindi ko na kaya. Hindi na ako masaya sa life ko. I felt weak, I felt useless. So I booked a flight going to Hawaii the next week. Hindi ko alam paano ko siya na-pull off, up until today, actually."

Aside from the pressure in vlogging, Ben also felt the "unfairness" in the industry where he was at.

"Ako ano ko, Chinese by blood, Filipino by heart. Alam niyo 'yan, but I didn't know where to thrive. Sasabihin sa akin, 'Hindi ka naman Pinoy, e, bakit ka makakakuha ng Pinoy na roles?'"

In Hawaii, Ben experienced the things that he was missing from life since he consciously thinks about working, and what other people would say.

In Hawaii, he found himself, who got lost along the process of doing something he love which is content creating.

"I wanted to escape. I wanted to feel like I was starting fresh again. I wanna be able to wear anything that I wanna wear. I wanted to afford luxury stuff without having the need to purchase one,” he shared.

"I wanna be fine without holding my phone the whole day. I wanna enjoy the company of my family without having the urge to pick up my camera and vlog.

"I wanted to love what I'm doing again. I wanted to love me."

Although being in Hawaii partly healed him, Ben shared he sought professional help, up until the present.

"I got diagnosed with major depression, which could lead to bipolar depression. We're still observing until now kasi lahat extreme, extreme happiness, extreme sadness, extreme anger, up and down.

"Hindi ko na maintindihan sarili ko but alam ko sobrang sad ako about everything. That there is no, kahit katiting, na light in this dark world. Ganun 'yung feeling niya."

Aside from seeking professional help, Ben also stressed the importance of having a will to get better.

"Pero kahit gaano ako kalungkot that time, I still had the will to get better. Ang lakas ng power of will kasi doon ako nag-draw ng energy from my will to get better, to want to get better.

"Doon ako nagkaroon ng courage to seek ng help kasi kapag wala kang will, wala kang pag-asa kahit anong klaseng tulong ibigay sa'yo kasi ikaw mismo, wala kang desire to get better."

Ben also had a consultation with a psychiatrist since he needed medications for his mental health problems. Until today, Ben continues to take his medicines which silenced the thoughts in his brains.

Watch Benedict Cua's vlog about his mental health here:

For mental health concerns or inquiries, please contact the National Center for Mental Health free crisis online at 0917-899-USAP (8727).

ASIDE FROM BENEDICT, TAKE A LOOK ALSO AT OTHER CELEBRITIES AND PERSONALITIES WHO OPENED UP ABOUT THEIR MENTAL HEALTH STRUGGLES HERE: