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"It wasn’t until 2013, while I was working on my last soap, that I could no longer handle it." - Lexi

By FELIX ILAYA

 

Mama ?? Photo by @picvche Hair care by @salonbyjomar

A photo posted by @lexifernandez.ph on

Apr 15, 2016 at 9:01pm PDT

In a blog post posted on April 20, former "Tween Hearts" actress Lexi Fernandez explains the reason why she took a step back from the spotlight.

She opened her letter with the question many ask her to this day; "Why did you quit showbiz?"

Lexi cited that while working as an actress, she was secretly suffering from two mental disorders, namely anxiety and depression.

"During the three years I was working, I was already secretly battling anxiety and depression, but it wasn’t until 2013, while I was working on my last soap, that I could no longer handle it. I just exploded.".

Due to her undiagnosed condition and strong desire to be liked, Lexi admitted that her personality took a turn for the worst.

"I pushed myself to change into someone I was very uncomfortable with just to fit in with the rest of the crew. Little did I know that doing so would just make me all the more prone to conflict. You see, being the way that I was, I would try very hard to make a relationship with everyone that I often times, put myself in a very dangerous place."

The last straw came for Lexi while she was working on her last project.

"Nevertheless, put two and two together, secretly struggling with anxiety and depression as well as problems of a teenage girl, it wasn’t long before I could no longer handle it. After about a year, while working on "Kakambal ni Eliana," I suffered from a fatal asthma attack. After that, I took it upon myself to take a break to just focus on working on me."

Fortunately for her, taking a step back from the spotlight was exactly what she needed to really get to know herself and figure things out.

"Three years after taking a step back from the spotlight, being 21-years-old, I looked back and just laughed at what I used to think was the end of the world for me. The problems I considered the biggest, most difficult situations are not even close to what one considers an actual problem! There are much more important things in life than to worry about what others think of you."

Lastly, Lexi ended her blog post by leaving a message to all the people she's worked with in the industry such as her "Tween Hearts" batch mates Barbie Forteza, Bea Binene, Derrick Monasterio, and Alden Richards.

Read the full blog post at lexifernandezph.tumblr.com

MORE ON LEXI FERNANDEZ:

READ: Lexi, babalik kaya ng showbiz after college?

READ: Get to know Lexi