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A man trapped in a woman's body. This is how social media personality Aian Lazaro has felt ever since he was a kid. So, he went through a transition when he became an adult.

In a short chat with GMANetwork.com and other select media yesterday, February 20, the 33-year-old transman related the process of his transition.

Aian said it started when he underwent top surgery under Dr. John Paul Pareja of SB Clinic.

“Kailangan talagang decided ka na bago mag-transition kasi irreversible na siya. So, sa akin, bata pa lang talaga ako, talagang naniniwala ako na lalaki ako, e. Prepared ka talaga dapat before mo pasukin ito,” he said.

He also confessed, “Kung mayroon akong isang puwedeng balikan o itama sa top surgery ko, ito yung I would have done it sooner. Kasi, ginawa ko siya 33 years old na ako. Kung ginawa ko siya noong 24 ako, nine years 'yun na hindi na ako nagsusuot ng binder.”

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Aian himself was fortunate because his partner was very supportive of him.

“Supportive naman siya kung saan ako magiging masaya. Kasi, kahit natutulog ako, naka-binder ako. Just imagine that, na mayroon kang garter sa dibdib.

“Mahirap siya, kaya lang makakasanayan mo na lang. Kasi, mas gugustuhin mo na lang na may binder ka kaysa parang may tinatago na sobrang uncomfortable.”

Aian and his partner have a TikTok account called Famngarap, which has more than one million followers. They also have a YouTube channel, where they discuss their dynamics as a family through the vodcast called “T-Talks” (previously Tomboy Talks).

Following his top surgery, Aian is currently under hormonal replacement therapy, which involves taking testosterone to develop masculine characteristics.

When asked how he prepared for this, Aian replied, “Actually, yun ang talagang problema ko before, gustung-gusto kong mag-transition pero natatakot ako. Kasi, meron talaga siyang mga side effect like, may mga namamatay; mabigat siya sa liver mo. Natatakot akong gawin siya.

“Pero noong pumunta ako kay Doc JP, ine-enlighten niya ako at binibigyan niya ako ng tamang guidance. May mga ipapagawa siyang tests para i-back up 'yung safety talaga. Parang he'll make sure na talagang okay ka. Hindi ka niya pasisimulan kung hindi ka ready.”

For his part, Dr. Pareja said it's not an easy process to go through transition. Aside from making sure his clients are physically ready, he also considers their emotional and psychological preparedness.

He related, “This is very important because this is something I cannot control, e. Kumbaga, all throughout the transition, everything can be prepared ahead of time, everything can be prepared nung pasyente. That's why we always meet them first and I would always ask them if they are ready or have already prepared. Ano ba yung pwedeng naging background kung bakit nila gustong mag-transition. Baka kasi peer pressure lang. Pwedeng may barkadang nagpagawa na kaya gusto na.

“Majority din ng nakakausap ko, they have their deeper meaning, deeper reasons. It's because, the majority of them, feel that they are trapped in the wrong body. Kumbaga, they really feel na, I should not be like this. I should be something different on the opposite side. So, yun na ang mindset nila kaagad. So, lagi kong sinasabi na this is something we cannot go back.

“Once they are ready, doon kami nagpa-plan ng stage namin. Siguro it would take you around a year kasi there's a series of surgeries, may counselling pa para maintindihan din nila yung process and journey.”

Trans man Aian Lazaro and Dr. John Paul Pareja of SB Clinic team up to launch “Transmillion: A Life Behind the Binder” campaign.

"Transmillion" campaign

Because of their constant interaction, Aian and Dr. Pareja thought of a campaign called “Transmillion: A Life Behind the Binder.”

It's a competition that would grant the winner an all-expense paid transition process. Its grand finals will be held on March 7 at a bar in Quezon City.

According to Aian, many expressed their interest when they opened the competition, which now have six remaining contestants. By interviewing these interested contestants, he realized that he was not the only one who experienced body dysphoria.

“Marami talaga sa amin ang may body dysphoria, unhappy sa katawan na mayroon ka. Sabi nga namin, kung pwede lang lahat gawin. Kung sa tindhan lang 'yan na puwede kang pumila, lahat na ng lesbian at transman natanggal na.

“Kasi, ito yung lifelong dream ng isang transman, yung matanggal 'to. Iba yung confidence na nabibigay talaga, parang mayroong rebirth, e. Sa akin, ang laking pagbabago no'n.

“With the interviews and the e-mails na sinend nila… may mga nagwi-wish pa nga sila na magka-breast cancer sila para may reason ipatanggal 'to.”

Through “Transmillion,” Aian hopes to create a safe community for trans men who want to undergo full transition.

“Itong Transmillion is an eye-opener and malaking embrace siya sa community. It's to let everyone know na hindi ka nag-iisa, with the right guidance.”

Dr. Pareja said he and Aian have shared sentiments so he agreed to be the partner clinic of this campaign.

He said, “Actually, yung clinic aims to be a safe place for them. Para nga akong nag-immersion sa kanila. I tried to blend in and hear their thoughts, issues, problems. Ano yung mga common concerns? The common concern to them is that there is a taboo sa ganitong [generation] ng environment today, wala silang mapuntahan.

“Hindi nila alam kung saan sila magpapa-check. Sa OB ba? E, gusto nga nilang maging lalaki. Sa panlalaki ba? E, hindi pa nga sila lalaki. So, there is some gap na hindi alam kung sino ang lalapitan.

“Ang nangyayari, on their own na lang sila, self-medication, nag-i-inject sila ng hormones on their own. Remember that anything injected to their body pwedeng deleterious sa health nila. I also heard na may mortality o mga namamatay because improper yung dosage or yung gamot na ginagamit is not for human use. Kasi, they think na basta same ang tunog, same din ang product na yun.”

In conclusion, Aian and Dr. Pareja their campaign starts an awareness among trans men.

“Sobrang saya kasi once upon a time ako rin yung lost na tao na hindi ko alam kung saan ako magsisimula. May bagay na gusto kong gawin, na alam ko namang hindi mali pero parang ang bigat kasi walang information. Ngayon, kapag naglalakad ako sa mall, 'O, Daddy A, sali ako sa top surgery mo,' napag-uusapan na siya,” Aian ended.

Meanwhile, here are celebrities who are trans men and trans women: