What is victim-blaming and how can we stop doing it?

“Bakit ka kasi sumama sa kanila?”, “Bakit ka kasi uminom?” and most commonly, “Ano kasi suot mo noon?”

Many may not be aware of it, but comments such as these add to the prevalent victim-blaming culture in the Philippines.

During Thomson Reuters’ virtual session on resisting against rape culture and victim-blaming, Friday, University of the Philippines Department of Psychology’s assistant professor Beatriz Torre said these questions implied that it’s the survivor’s responsibility to prevent the crime committed to her.

Although these questions may be asked “in the guise of concern,” these comments have a negative impact on the women and men who have already gone through such a traumatic experience.

To know more about victim-blaming and how to put a stop to it, here are answers to commonly asked questions about it.

What is victim-blaming?

According to Torre, victim-blaming happens when survivors are blamed for the very assault that happened to them. Some people even imply that survivors should be held responsible for a crime they did not commit.

Torre said that sometimes victim-blaming came in the form of indirect comments.

“It’s not always overt or direct. You won’t hear na ‘Ay, kasalanan niya!’ But it’s indirect in the guise of concern,” she said.

This is where harmful comments such as “I don’t blame the victim but then meron siyang responsibility” or “She shouldn’t have dressed that way kasi” come into play.

How is this harmful? I’m just showing ‘concern’!

If people are just “showing their concern” for the victim with the comments they say, why does it then become harmful?

These types of comments led to “secondary victimization,” said Torre.

“So na-victimize ka na nga ng rape, that’s already a traumatic experience that can cause psychological distress and then if you choose to report it, if you tell people about it, their response is disbelief or blame like ‘Ikaw naman kasi …’ it can heighten the psychological distress and delay recovery.”

Not only will it increase the distress among the survivors, but comments like these also increase feelings of powerlessness and shame, and lower self-esteem.

“They may start to tell themselves, ‘Baka kasalanan ko nga,’” Torre said.

This behavior is associated with why more and more cases of rape and assault go underreported.

“Underreported siya kasi may fear na if you report it people will say na, ‘it’s your fault, you should have done something to avoid it.’ Nakaka-victimize lalo ’yung ganong statements. Victims will rather avoid it,” Torre said.

Why is there victim-blaming in the first place?

Torre explained that people may blame the victim because of the just world theory they had incorporated in their lives.

According to Torre, the theory suggests that on some unconscious level, most of us believe that the world is fair and rational.

“Meaning you get what you deserve,” Torre said.

“If you work hard, you get good things. If you are a good person, you will get good karma. If something bad happens, siguro deserve mo ’yun. Kung nahirapan ka kumita sa gitna ng pandemic, siguro kasi hindi ka nagsipag.”

Torre said this mentality didn’t apply only to victim-blaming but also other circumstances as well.

“If a good person who was doing nothing wrong can be victimized then it means the world is not just,” she said.

“It makes people with that worldview feel discomfort and distress because it means it can happen to us. If it can happen to another person, it can happen to me.”

She also said “victim-blaming allows us to distance ourselves.”

Because people have the “comforting belief” that the world is fair, they’d justify the assault as something the survivor “deserved” because she did something “wrong.”

In that way, they can still continue on with their worldview and not be scared that it can happen to anyone, including them.

Torre also said victims got blamed because some people subscribed to the narrative that men were “sexual aggressors” and women were “sexual gatekeepers,” without taking into account how complex human sexuality was.

Rape myths then become prevalent, justifying male sexual aggression against women.

“Madalas naririnig natin, ‘adik siguro ’yun.’ There’s the notion that rape happens because the perpetrator is a monster na may uncontrollable sexual urges. We have the notion that rapists are evil monstrous people and it is the role of women to avoid those monstrous people,” Torre said.

“But the reality of rape is it very often happens between people who know each other. It happens in the home, family, partners, already married.”

Torre pointed out that the notion that women got assaulted on the streets more by strangers was less true than the many cases where survivors actually knew who the perpetrator was.

“Hindi sya deviant, hindi natin siya ma-aattribute na ‘ay evil nga ’yung rapist, under the influence kasi ng drugs.’ We uphold these myths because it’s easier to justify rape na nangyari ’yung dahil sa something na ginawa ng victim,” Torre said.

How can we encourage people to stop?

According to Torre, more often than not, victim-blaming happens when a sexual crime is involved.

“You won’t hear victim-blaming in other crimes,” she said. “Nanakawan ka, nabugbog ka, mas naririnig siya pag rape,” she said.

However, Torre believed that victim-blaming should not be a burden forever.

If we encouraged each other to examine and question our own beliefs about gender, sexuality, and sexual assault, we could lessen victim-blaming, she said.

“Studies have shown na when people are encouraged to speak about how they felt on a story of assault, they’d say na, ‘natakot ako na baka mangyari sakin, sa anak ko, sa kapatid ko.’ When we express our emotion, it lessens tendency to victim-blaming,” she added.

It’s also important to teach children and young people, both girls and boys, the right values.

“How are we talking to kids about sex, about rape? Ano tinuturo natin sa consent? Maybe we don’t even talk about it.  We have to talk about it in a more honest frank manner,” Torre said. – RC, GMA News