Explaining helps kids from broken homes heal

Sunny (not her real name) grew up in a broken family. She was only three years old when her father left them. 

 

She has been lucky to have a stepfather, Sunny said in an interview with Lala Roque aired at GMA News TV’s “State of the Nation” on Friday. Though, at times, she still thinks of meeting her real father. 

 

“Hindi ko na rin hinahanap ang ama ko kasi mabait naman ang step dad ko. . .Ewan ko kung gusto ko pa siya makita, [pero] minsan naiisip ko rin gusto ko siyang makita,” she said.

 

Sunny noted that prayers and her mother’s explanations helped her understand their situation. 

 

According to a psychiatrist, communication is key for young children and their understanding of the situation. As early as three years old, you can already explain to your child the phase of separation that you and your partner are going through. And, just like the couple, the kid may not take the situation on face value, or feel anger because of it, revealed Dr. Paz Abala, psychiatrist at St. Lukes Medical Center.

 

“[Maaaring may] effect na hindi maganda sa bata. For example, ang bata na dating hindi iritable magiging irritable, ma-dedepress,  [o kaya] ‘yung iba hindi na magpapakita ng mabuti sa school,” Abala said on Friday as quoted in a television report aired at GMA News Tv’s “State of the Nation.”

 

Abala noted that parents should not fight in front of the child to help ease the situation. 

 

“[If] either of the parents bad mouth each other, ang mother, for example, sisiraan ‘yung asawa niya sa anak, tapos ‘yung tatay naman sisiraan naman ‘yung wife niya sa anak. . .maguluhan ang bata,” she explained. 

 

At one point, Sunny recalled, she feared of having her own family because of her experience. 

 

But, now, she is ready to face her fear. “Gusto ko ring magkapamilya at anak, titiyakin ko rin na mas magiging okay pati mga anak ko. . .Hindi ko na rin iniisip na may kulang sa buhay ko.” – Rouchelle R. Dinglasan / KDM GMA News