It is not easy to fit a square peg in a round hole, nor a round body in a narrow-minded culture. Plus-size Filipinas open up about their struggles to overcome body-shaming, learning to embrace the figure they have, and deciding that they are beautiful. Period.
“MATABA.”
“Ang ganda mo pero mataba ka.”
“Ang bigat mo, baka masira ang silya.”
These words are painfully familiar GMA News' Saleema Refran. And she actually did break a chair in one of the preview areas in the newsroom.
She was a lot heavier at the time, and she has since shed off a lot of weight, keeping her health as a motivation.
But the harsh words are something she will always remember.
In an episode in Brigada, Saleema opened up about her experiences with body-shaming and went in search of other victims.
“‘PAG PUMAYAT KA LILIGAWAN KITA.”
“Siguro ‘pag pumayat ka, puwede.”
Like Saleema, Christina Arches is no stranger to teasing comments or even jokes from parents made “out of love.”
But instead of letting these comments affect her, the 26-year-old vlogger simply chooses not to listen to them.
“Importante ka, maganda ka, kahit anong laki mo, liit mo, tangkad mo, maganda ka sa mata ng Diyos. Pinaniwalaan ko yun. So kung ano man ‘yung sabihin ng iba, ‘di ako naniniwala kasi alam ko yung value ko,” she said.
She has worked hard to shift her perspective about herself and she learned to get over many of the things she feared — like fashion.
Teena’s confidence in her embrace of her figure becomes most apparent when she discusses the items in her wardrobe.
The three things that matter more than the rest: a crop top, a swimsuit, and a sweater.
The crop top was the first of the kind she ever wore. No one wanted her to wear it but she was adamant, and once she did, it kickstarted her obsession with them.
The short-sleeved one-piece swimsuit can be considered conservative, but for Teena it was a huge leap from the t-shirt and shorts she used to wear to the beach.
When she finally got sick of not being able to wanted to do, she took a risk, and garnered quite a lot of likes on Instagram when she posted a picture of herself wearing it.
The third item of clothing is special because of what was written on it: Maganda Ako, Period.
THIS GOES BEYOND just a simple hashtag. The mantra has become an advocacy for Teena.
She was being used to being told “Maganda ka sana kung...” and “Maganda ka sana pero...”
Now Teena answers, “Maganda ako, period.”
“I feel like kung mas maraming taong magsasabi nito mas maraming mas masaya. Period. Wala nang tanungan, ‘di ba?," she said.
Teena first started vlogging about her life as a plus size woman. She's also big on body positivity and make-up, which she calls as her form of art and expression.
In 2013 and 2014, Teena joined Eat Bulaga's segment called "For Healthy and Heavy Models" (FHHM). Her parents were against it, saying she will only be laughed at but Teena insisted. While she lost, she was chosen to be a part of the Six Bomb.
“Kalangan kong sumali, kailangan kong ilabas yung nararamdaman ko sa mundo, yung talagang pinaniniwalaan ko,” she said.
“Kasi I’m sure hindi lang ako ‘yung nag-iisa so sumali ako talaga, kahit na ‘di ako marunong kumanta,” she added.
OVERCOMING BODY-SHAMING
AND FINDING BODY ACCEPTANCE
by SALEEMA REFRAN
“Fat” is a word I’ve always been afraid of. It’s a word that has haunted me forever.
I’ve been body-shamed for as long as I can remember. I’d hear it almost everywhere: from strangers, colleagues, even friends and family.
Others say it with concern.
“Maganda pero mataba.”
“Think of your health.”
Most would just blurt it out with hate and disgust, while some would even pair it with laughter.
“Ano ba yan, nasa TV pero ang taba-taba!”
I’ll pretend not to care, maybe I’ll even break out a small smile. But inside, I’m losing faith in myself.
I lost an ovary at an early age, which caused my hormones to act up. This is why I will never be stick thin. Everyday became a struggle.
Other people medical conditions causing them to gain weight, while other simply lose touch with themselves after fully giving their lives to their loved ones. Some are just genetically bigger.
Most women wake up each day already questioning and criticizing their own bodies. Why can’t we be thinner and fairer? How can I lose these stretch marks? Why is this pimple not even going away?
Some days, we put on our brightest smiles. These are glory days. We feel wonderful in our own skin.
But most of the time, it takes so much courage to even step out that door, to face the world where we are constantly being judged.
For not being thin enough or beautiful enough.
For not being good enough.
But really, what’s wrong with being fat? Heavy? Or more rounded on the edges?
When did being larger than society’s perception of beauty become a sin?
To those people, that is all I’ll ever amount to. Someone to laugh at because I’m fat.
Words used to get the best of make-up artist and vlogger Teena Arches especially when she was younger.
Now, she simply doesn’t care. Life is too short to be miserable, she says.
Over time, I’ve learned to love myself. I am more than my size
Women are more than what the scales tell us. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s time shut out the negativity.
Let’s be kind to ourselves. We are all beautiful in our own unique way. Stop hating your flaws. Own them. Celebrate them. Love them.
This is hard but we have to be kind to others too. Especially those who make fun of us, heckle us or belittle our efforts
Maybe they need more kindness in their lives. Pray for them.
Lastly, love. Love everyone, love life.
Because before others can love us, we must love ourselves.
Maganda ako. Period. No ifs or buts.
“WALANG KAKASYA SA ‘YO.”
“Wala kang size dito.”
While Teena Arches has found solace in fashion, it remains a struggle for other plus-size women.
For 23-year-old Aiyumi Norlega, something as simple as shopping for clothes can be quite an ordeal.
Weighing 94 kilograms, it can be a struggle just finding clothes that fit.
Like Saleema, she also broke a chair once. She still remembers how people laughed.
And whether intentional or not, the hurt inflicted remains real, as Dr. Randy Dellosa, a psychologist, notes.
"’Yung pag-comment tungkol sa itsura, o sa body size, o sa body type, pwedeng intentional na makasakit, pwede ring comment lang. Kaya lang may thin line between comment and insult so doon tayo dapat maging careful," he said.
Confidence remains key because, as Dellosa says, people with low self-esteem become a target for bullies.
“Kasi less yung shaming sa mga taong mas confident eh,” he said.
Yumi used to be thinner, but working at a call center with its odd hours, on top an illness relating to her uterus, caused her to gain weight quickly.
And while it hurts being teased and laughed at, Yumi said she is slowly trying to be more positive about herself.
"Everyday ‘pag tumitingin ako sa salamin mino-motivate ko sarili ko na, kaya mo ‘yan, Yumi. Kasi para dun sa health mo, para sa ‘yo din. Mga ganoon lang, mga simpleng bagay na ganon, it really helps to boost your confidence," she said,
“Kasi wala naman pong ibang mag-e-encourage sa sarili ko eh kundi ako lang,” she added.
YUMI, TEENA, AND SALEEMA are just some of the women who have been shamed for what their bodies look like and for not fitting into what society deems as acceptable.
Yet they each embarked on a difficult journey of self-acceptance, stopped listening to what others have to say, and instead chose to encourage and love themselves.
Because no matter your size or your looks, in the end, it is you that has to tell yourself: Maganda Ako, Period.
Adapted from the BRIGADA segment by SALEEMA REFRAN
Produced for the web by JESSICA BARTOLOME
With design by JANNIELYN ANN BIGTAS
January 30, 2019
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