40 Days After: The Perseverance of LT and Family

As the passing of one of the country's venerable actors, Rudy Fernandez, reached its 40th day, 'Startalk' was able to speak with his family and ask what keeps them indomitable in the face of grief. Text by Erick Mataverde. Photos by Mitch S. Mauricio. Butch Fransicso and Lolit Solis were able to take a few moments from Lorna Tolentino and two of her sons, Rafael and Renz Fernandez, and chat about what goes on in their life after Daboy, how their family and friends are coping with the loss of a person very near and dear to their hearts. An unyielding connection "Syempre on the first day of [the death of] Rudy, parang I went through yung lahat ng dinaanan niya, parang there is a missing part na kahit na anuman 'yung gagawin mo, 'yung dedesisyonan mo, parang you have to think of of him," Lorna relates. She also describes her attachment to Rudy as only a person who has been with another for so long (they celebrated their silver wedding anniversary June of this year) can describe: "Siguro subconsciously gusto ko talaga siya mapanaginipan. And then nanaginip ako, hinahalikan niya ako and then nagising ako. So iniisip ko ito ba panaginip ko talaga o nasa likod lang ng isip ko, subconsious na 'yun that's what I want to happen." She adds: "Syempre mai-imagine mo lahat, the seven days that he was with you. Lahat ng nangyari." Lorna talks about how she coped when she traveled to Dubai and after: "Most of the time nag-uusap kami ng mga anak ko. After Dubai, naramdaman ko talaga about loneliness. So mula nung trip sa Mainila hanggang Dubai, umiiyak ako, hindi ako natulog. Sobra ko siyang namiss." "Ayoko magpa-pressure, pero kasi sabi ko nga sa mga anak ko [at] sinabi din nila sa akin, 'There should be a time for your grief, Ma, for our grief, grieving is a process. You undergo so many things [and] so many emotions in life.' Na kumbaga so many decisions na kailangan mo gawin, ano 'yung choice mo after?" she says. It's about how she and her sons try to rationalize their process of bereavement. Obligations, fulfilled and planned About Rudy's pending commitments, Lorna, despite everything, remains responsible to her late husband's earthly affairs as ever: "May third contract na naiwan si Rudy, ah sa TV rights niya, so may four siya na naayos na niya, nabili niya, 'yung other eight ako 'yung nakipag-usap. [Dealt with] and everything lahat, kung ano yung iniwan niya, tinapos ko lang muna." She then affirms: "So okey na siya, and then eto ngayon magkakaroon ng Hope na CD nga, na ano ni [cancer survivor and philanthropist] Pinky Tobiano, sabi ko 'Sige, this is for cancer patients, what they’re going through right now. The family, the caregivers, the wives, the children, kumbaga [what] the relatives, the friends are going through.' Sana maging inspiration [itong CD] for the cancer patients." Lorna even has plans of going to the Holy Land (Israel) with Pinky Tobiano together with Rafael and Renz. Speaking about her sons, Lorna adds: "Si Rafael, ang ano niya is that what is good for me and what is good for the famliy. Siya 'yung, kasi 'yung parang pinaka-head na ngayon 'di ba? Ito, 'yung sa Hope CD, magko-collaborate kaming dalawa. And then si Renz, sabi ko nga 'Ikaw ang may pinakamagandang sinulat sa Papa mo sa Ricky Lo Exclusives, sana magawan mo ako ng isang part dun ng narration na kukunin ko.' Kasi [ang] gusto ko it's about: on faith, on love [and] on acceptance." The sons' genuine concern Rafael has this to say when Butch asked about her mother returning to work: "Hindi pa siya ready magtrabaho, I think, para sa akin, kasi hindi pa kumpleto. Hindi naman makukumpleto ever eh, pero ngayon masyado pa ring fresh. Para kasing malalim eh. Siguro 'yung ibang tao kaya nila 40 days tapos okey na, pero malalim eh. "Kasi pag-pinilit mo, may repercussions 'yan eh, 'yung stress, 'yung ano. May medical repercussions, ibig sabihin puede siya magkasakit, dahil dun sa stress dun sa tension, so inaadvice ko na parang ayusin na muna 'yung [medical] scans para ma-chek kung ano 'yung problema. Tapos masiguradong she's already relaxed [and] she's already ready. Para 'yung trabaho na madalala niya kalidad na trabaho hindi 'yung bawas dahil pagod or may sakit." Renz agrees with his brother about not letting their mother going back to show business this early: "Pareho kay kuya, 'wag muna. Kung kailan siya handang-handa na, dun nalang ituloy. Sa ngayon, pahinga na muna siya." When Butch mentioned to Lorna about this concern of her sons for her health, she says, "'Yun 'yung inaalam ko. So far, 'yung CBC ko, okey." Lolit broached on the topic of how Rudy and Lorna's friends are coping and if they have recovered as well. "Hindi. Hindi pa rin. It will always remain it will always be there. Kahit na siguro sa atin, sa iyo, ikaw 'Nay, lahat ng na-touch ni Rudy ang lives palagay ko 'di ba? Hindi makakalimutan," Lorna says. True resolve 'Manay' then took the opportunity to mention that on a recent Philippine Daily Inquirer issue, there was a letter about Lorna by one of her fans who couldn't help but observe Lorna's composure. "Puring-puri niya si Lorna, dahil nakita niya, 'yung iba 'grace under pressure', pero siya 'grace under grief.'" It is noted that in Yes! Magazine's August 2008 issue, Editor-in-Chief Joanne Maglipon has dedicated two articles on Rudy Fernandez and Lorna Tolentino: "Remembering Daboy," on his career as an actor, and "LT: Life after Daboy," about Lorna's recollection of her times with Rudy. These articles feature never-before-seen photos of Rudy and accounts from his close friends, like Sen. Jinggoy Estrada. The article, too, touched on the reported consent of Daboy to Lorna before his death. As Lolit tells Lorna: "Payag naman siya (Rudy) kung sakaling makakahanap ka ng ibang kaliligayhan niya." But Lorna, at the moment, and understandably so, has this as the least of her priorities: "Siguro sa ngayon, hindi ko muna iisipin, I live each day at a time, and kung dadating yung panahon na 'yon sige titingnan natin, [but] I am open with friends.” "[Sa ngayon] walang magkakalakas ng loob. Napaka-butas ng karayom ang dadaanan niya!" she quips, referring to her sons Rafael, Renz and Kim Samsoon star Mark Anthony Fernandez and the people who were close to them during Rudy’s lifetime, Philip Salvador and Senators Jinggoy Estrada, Ramon "Bong" Revilla Jr. to name a few. Lorna, however, being devoted as well to the business which she and her husband prospered in throughout the years, will be coming back to host Startalk this August. "August 9 po magkita-kita po tayo. Sana po panoorin ninyo ang Startalk, August 9, sa aking pagbabalik at saka po August 30," she says. Learn more and discuss LT's return to Startalk by logging in to the iGMA Forums!