Alfred Vargas encourages parents to listen to their kids and not to sugarcoat anything about pandemic

After spending time with his family at home, Kapuso actor and public servant Alfred Vargas has realized that part of growing as an adult is realizing the importance of listening to his kids.

"Parang may gift of wisdom ang maturity. I'm 41 years old and I'm learning a lot at I'm learning with and from my kids," he said in a message sent to GMANetwork.com, referring to his children Alexandra Milan, Aryana Cassandra, and Alfredo Cristiano.

"Enriching rin to experience life from the point of view of children.

"Simple ang logic nila pero kids make sense. They offer a different perspective in life."

Alfred, who's had a brief but important role in the GMA primetime series Legal Wives, is especially grateful for having learned this pearl of wisdom during the COVID-19 pandemic--a time when people's patience runs thin and relationships in general have become more fragile.

"Dahil sa mas matagal naming pagsasama, nasa bahay lang kami, sharing, playing, making sure meron kaming mga common shared experiences, I got to know their personalities at mas naiintindihan ko na sila ngayon.

"Kung anong iniisip nila, kung bakit nagagalit sila or nagtatampo, something like that. In that sense, I feel like nagma-mature ako hindi lang bilang tatay nila, but as a person, too."

Raising a kid can be tough work. Raising three kids during uncertain times can either be a riot or a nightmare.

Thankfully, Alfred has Yasmine, his wife who helps him achieve some semblance of balance between his duties as a father and as the representative from the 5th district of Quezon City.

With Yasmine by his side, he's gradually learning to cut through the noise of politics and chaos brought about by the pandemic and have a firmer grip on his real purpose in his family.

"It's so much clearer to me now as a father na pinagkatiwala sa akin ng Panginoon ang kanilang buhay.

"Their life depends on me until that time comes that they can be independent.

"I'm here to protect them, guide them, teach them the lessons of life, and help them to be strong, and put them in a position to be the best they can be.

"Na-realize ko na handa akong gawin lahat para maging safe ang pamilya ko. Kung kailangan ma-endanger ko ang sarili ko just to be able to provide and protect them, gagawin ko. Iyon ang pinaka naging clear sa akin ngayong pandemic. Secondary na lang ako, una palagi ang pamilya ko."

One virtue that he wants his kids to learn is gratitude.

That's why during their dinners, everyone around the table is encouraged to speaking about something that he or she is grateful for.

This practice has become a tradition in the Vargas household.

"We also have this sort of tradition tuwing dinner, isa-isa kaming nagbabanggit ng isang bagay na grateful kami for the day.

"For example ako, when I graduated recently sabi ko I'm grateful because I finished my master's degree; 'yung panganay na daughter ko, si Alexandra, nicknamed Ching-Ching, grateful because she baked a very delicious cupcake with Mommy; my other daughter, si Aryana, nicknamed Ary, ay grateful because we have a new cat," said Alfred, who earned his master's degree in public administration from the University of the Philippines National College of Public Administration and Governance in July 2021.

"There's always something to be grateful for each day, and I want my kids to appreciate it all.

"The power of gratitude has made us stronger during this pandemic."

Aside from teaching them about gratitude, Alfred believes that parents should be comfortable with having open and honest conversations about the pandemic with their kids.

The responsibility of telling the young ones about the pandemic's hard truths--however grim these truths may be--fall squarely on their parent's shoulders.

"Hindi kami nagsu-sugarcoat ni Yasmine. We always tell them the truth.

"Alam nila kung ano ang COVID-19 virus and the harm it brings.

"We explain to them kung ano ang pandemic, na it's not safe to go out and be exposed to crowds kaya online na ang school nila.

"We make them understand the importance of health protocols para sa safety nila at ng buong household. Pero ang lagi kong sinasabe sa kanila, ang importante ay safe kaming pamilya.

"And of course, lagi kong pinapaalala na we have to pray for others to be okay, too.

"Sinasabi ko rin na I'm doing my best in helping others as a public servant as well.

"Kasi lagi ko pinapaalala na we are very lucky--and dahil blessed tayo--we have to give it back. We have to serve others."

The actor and movie producer, who's also involved in relief operations in Quezon City, hopes that people would not stop having faith in the kindness of strangers, and for the fortunate ones to start building a longer table.

"If we share what we have or kung ano ang kaya natin, we will always have enough.

"Kapag nagbibigay kasi tayo ng kung anong kaya natin, we will never run out of anything.

"Totoong babalik ng doble or even ten-fold ang mga binigay natin.

"And also, sobrang laki ng uncertainty ngayon, do not let those things shatter your faith. Have faith in God and trust that everything will be okay."

Take a glimpse of Alfred's family life here: