The messy world of ‘friends with benefits’

Once upon a time, a friend was simply a friend. Gentlewomen and gentlemen, regardless of preference, could simply say so-and-so is a friend, a good friend, or an acquaintance. Not too long ago, the word “friend" did not need to be clarified by the intriguing “with or without benefits" or “user-friendly." Time was when “It’s complicated" did not immediately hint at a vague romantic rollercoaster status that no party wants to confirm nor deny, and “No Strings Attached" or NSA did not imply avoidance of the quirky post-bedroom emotional topography. In the not-so-distant past, a telephone was a heavy, black analog contraption solely used for talking, with calls labeled as either domestic or international. Roaming generally meant to wander about, totally unrelated to telephone communication. Back then, nobody thought that printed postcards delivered by bicycle-riding postmen would be the precursors of 21st century tweets. Today, a chic cellular phone smaller than a Cadbury chocolate bar contains almost one half of its owner’s mental meditations, a list of contacts which used to be in a 10-inch Rolodex, photo albums that can rival a coffee table book, plus some functions of a laptop. Two decades after the first browsers went online in August 1991, try to discreetly eavesdrop in conversations among members of the generation more familiar with Web 2.0 than Michael Jackson’s MTV hit Thriller or Madonna’s Like a Virgin or the novel Love in the Time of Cholera by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. If one listens like Agatha Christie’s Hercule Poirot long enough, he or she is bound to hear these “digital natives" discuss the taxonomy of their so-called friends thus: “a friend without benefits," “a friend with benefits," or simply “a Facebook friend." There is also the derogatory species under the genus of “user-friendly friends." Against these tectonic shifts in the nomenclature of friends and the radical innovations in digital communication, award-winning director Erick C. Salud crafted Ligo na U, Lapit na Me (Star-Crossed Love), a love story of heterosexual adolescents who are “friends with benefits but NSA."

Edgar Allan Guzman and Mercedes Cabral play the leads in this funny and thought-provoking movie. Courtesy of Cinemalaya 2011

The two main characters, ably played by Edgar Allan Guzman (awarded Best Actor in the 2011 Cinemalaya Film Festival for his role as Intoy) and Mercedes Cabral (Jenny), believe that consensual sex between friends should not be hindered by emotional entanglements, contraceptive devices, and a Puritan moral compass. Sex inside a motel room, for them, should be an experience not much different to a trip to the mall after school – easy, enjoyable, immediately available on-demand. Classmates Intoy and Jenny firmly committed themselves to leave love out of the fine print of the terms of engagement, namely plain pure sex, companionship when the world becomes bewildering for them, or a date when they feel like chilling out. UP Centennial Prize for Literature winner Jerry B. Gracio’s witty and sizzling screenplay was based on the best-selling novel of the same title by Eros S. Atalia, a rather self-effacing author who allowed himself to be swallowed by the thick walls of the Cultural Center of the Philippines’ Main Lobby. Around him, director Salud, screen playwright Gracio, Guzman, Cabral, Evelyn Vargas, and the cast members and production staff shone in the adulation of Cinemalaya viewers during the gala screening at the CCP Main Theater. Some of the most telling lines from the novel published by Visprint in 2009 are uttered by Karl Vladimir Lennon J. Villalobos, or Intoy for short: “Kasi nga hindi naman kami talaga. Friends lang kami. Pero sabi niya friends with benefits. Kaya hindi kami nagsasabihan ng ‘I love you.’ Wala kaming pet name tulad ng mahal, ma/pa, tart, sweet, munchkins, sugar, bukayo, pakombo, at arnibal." Credits must be given to Salud’s skill in keeping the audience immersed in the film as the relationship between Intoy and Jenny evolves, from their first encounter in school to the time Jenny bestows Intoy the privilege of “a friendship with benefits," and the sudden withdrawal of those benefits, which startled Intoy. Gracia’s crisp, funny script evokes the intelligent dialogue -- notably the lines spoken by Intoy and Jenny inside the motel rooms and while eating cheap snacks -- between an ingénue Ethan Hawke and a juvenile Julie Delpy in Before Sunrise (1995) and Before Sunset (2004). Cinematographer Alfred F. Hernando effectively captures the innocent-looking Guzman and the voluptuous Cabral in one frame to manifest the subtle progression of clashing emotions that mirror real-life situations, from the musings of cynical adolescents to sentimental, hurting individuals dying a little daily as they face their fears and worries. As the film moves forward, viewers learn that “friendship with benefits but NSA" between sex buddies (colorfully known as FuBus in some social networks) can spiral into something quite complicated and messy. Unwanted pregnancy is one of them. As the body heat intensifies, it becomes unbearably intricate to shoot down the developing emotional torpedo. How long can “friends with benefits" remain un-lovestruck? Or is it even possible to remain faithful to the terms of engagement? Should a new set of terms of endearment be agreed upon? Ligo na U, Lapit na Me summarizes in 85 minutes the various facets of the sexual, emotional, and psychological status of today’s adolescents that would probably be of immense interest to parents, school authorities, and care-givers.

Courtesy of Cinemalaya 2011

As the 21st century Filipino adolescents grow more technologically savvy and digitally connected, Ligo na U, Lapit na Me seriously ponders on their socialization process and value formation. In one poignant scene, a confused Jenny tells Intoy that she is pregnant but immediately counters, “Don’t worry, hindi naman sa iyo ito." A shocked Intoy must be asking himself: Is it too old-fashioned to be faithful to “friends with benefits" these days? Is it wrong to be serially monogamous in this era? Viewers will have the answers to those questions in the sequel of Ligo na U, Lapit na Me which is already on the drawing board. - YA, GMA News