3 Pinays trapped in toilet (or things you should never do in Italy)

Sun.Star: When in Rome, do as the Romans do or end up getting cheated, humiliated, penniless or maybe even stranded. A trip to Italy's tourist traps with my sister and cousin led us to misadventures we can never forget. 1. Never cheat on automated toilets In Italy, the pubic toilets on the subways are automated. All you have to do is push a coin inside the slot for the stall door to open. One member of our tour group did that. Owing to the Filipino trait of familial love extending to toilet habits, three people decided to share a stall. Unbelievably, thanks to the technology of the Japanese, the toilets can detect if there are more than one Filipino inside. The stall automatically locked our three fellow tourists inside and signaled an alarm so loud that a local police had to unlock it for the peace of the public. Needless to say, that was the last time anyone ever tried to pull a stunt on public toilets or anything automated for that matter. 2. Never believe in Italian taxi drivers (especially those at the train station) We tried to hail a taxi at the train station where we were being extorted a hundred euros for a ride to the city. They - pertains to the whole mafia mob of taxi drivers who surrounded us. I can hear "whispers of Japanese" in the background. You can also add "never try to look like a Japanese" on the list. Arguing that we already took a cab for 10 euros, they reasoned that there is a public strike of cabs in the city and they are the only kind souls who will be willing to risk life and limb to take us. Another driver offered us a ride at a lower price but the taxi mafia gave him looks of death until he meekly backed down into a corner. We took a bus instead at the cost of 1 euro only. And there was no such thing as a taxi strike that day. 3. Never believe in Italian taxi drivers ever (really) We wanted to go to the Catacombs which was just a few minutes away. The taxi driver told us that the catacombs are already closed and suggested the Roman Baths farther ahead. He dropped us a block away from the baths saying that taxis are not allowed to unload. He did not give us back our change despite what the meter says because the clock just struck 6 p.m. and that, according to the guidebook of Italian taxi drivers, qualifies as the evening rate. And when we finally arrived, we found the whole thing locked down and without a soul in sight. We scrambled around to find anyone who can help us get a taxi. But all the replies we get is "no speak English" and "No no you cannot find taxi here". So here we are in the middle of nowhere when it started to rain. And then my cousin tripped into a pothole. And after 20 minutes of walking aimlessly into nowhere, Thank God we saw a subway. 4. Never put your money inside your pocket If you think that we are in the running for the world's most smartest thieves, then think again. We do not stand a change with Italy in skill and precision. To safeguard your priceless possessions, sew it inside your jacket. Or hang your money around your neck. Or even better, put it inside your shoe. The smell alone will definitely deter any gypsies from stealing your money. There is also another story of a male tourist who was delighted when three voluptuous gypsies immediately stuck their heavenly bodies on him on a crowded subway. After they were gone, so was his wallet. Let this be a lesson for husbands of the wandering kind. 5. Never take anything for granted At St. Peter's Basilica, we saw tombs after tombs of dead popes and other important people of the Catholic Church. Being raised in an all girls Catholic school run by nuns and still not being able to memorize the rosary, we were bored and passed by everything in 20 seconds. There were extra long lines for the tombs of important people like Pope John Paul and a sign which says Cupola. We left early and had dinner at restaurant where the Filipino waitress tells us that St Peter's Basilica, view from the top is breathtaking. Our faces must have looked blank because she asked us slowly as if we cannot understand English "You went to the Basilica right? The Cupola? Did you not go to the Cupola?" We ran all the way back to the Cathedral, paid extra for elevator access and ran up more than a hundred steps to the Cupola just minutes before it closed. 6. Never leave without a picture of the Sistine Chapel Inside the Sistine Chapel is the famous ceiling of Michelangelo where millions of gullible tourists contribute to the banks of the Vatican to be able to say they have been there. A sign is posted on all areas of the chapel: "Picture taking is not allowed." But the millions of tourists still bring out their cameras and their camera phones to take pictures anyway. The view from the doorway looked like a gathering of souls in hell trying to catch a glimpse of heaven above. In minute intervals, a guard will shout that picture taking is not allowed. In that short moment, the tourists then pretend to return their cameras in their pockets when in reality, they are just resting to avoid neck strain. And then in a few seconds, they will whip up their cameras and resume taking pictures. Yours truly included. (You can email the author at wandergirl28@yahoo.com.ph)