Worry

WHAT is it that keeps you up at night? What is it that stresses you out so much you starve yourself or pig out, depending on your preferred coping mechanism? I must admit, I have never had any problems relaxing. Once my back settles on something – a soft mattress, hardwood floor, the chair’s backrest while sitting down or sometimes even a concrete wall standing up – I’m off to dreamland… ZZZZZZZZ… That’s why it sometimes confuses me why some people spend so much time worrying about one thing or another that it completely ruins their lives. Sometimes I find that some of my biggest concerns are resolved after a deep sleep. I wake up refreshed, ready to tackle the problem anew. In fact, I sometimes find the solution through my sleep. My former boss at work used to raise an eyebrow whenever I would say “I’ll sleep on it.” She thought I was just making an excuse to go out drinking and disco-ing while a potential crisis lay over the horizon. But she later learned to trust me on my slumber solution since it worked every time. I’d report for work bright and early the next day with a fix on the problem at hand. Sometimes it worked against me, though. Boss could always tell if I had indeed played hooky and had a night of debauchery because I would be in early but still no solution – hehehe, inumaga na sa inuman, konting wisik pantanggal ng muta, diretso sa opisina. (For the Fil-Ams who don’t understand, ask your Lola!) Don’t get me wrong. I do have worries. But I guess it’s just a matter of priorities. Many of the things we worry about are either too small that once a pretty girl passes by it’s just gone with the wind and we wonder what that worry was in the first place. Other worries are so large for us that we can’t do anything about them anyway and would just have to leave it to God to sort out. Looming Crisis RISING prices, especially of oil and food – specifically rice – are sure to keep any government on edge. These are politically charged issues that could lead to serious civil unrest. Just look at news reports on the rice situation – not only local but international. Here it’s in the level of people complaining in lines for the low cost (subsidized) NFA rice. Abroad, they’re starting to riot. Bloomberg reports that nearly half the world population has rice as staple food. The Philippines is among the top rice importers as our demand apparently is greater than the local production. Our sources in the US, Vietnam and Thailand are cutting back on their exports to ensure their own supply. Should this happen, where will we the get our supply shortfall? What can I possibly do to avert this crisis? Is this a worry to lose sleep over? I speak only for myself: it’s not what I’m worried about. (Before anyone out there decides to debate me on agriculture policy and this government’s competence, lighten up. This is neither the time nor place. Take your concerns to the useless bums over at the political desk.) I’m not worried about the looming civil unrest and social crisis fuel and food shortages may cause. That’s just too big for me – it will come when it decides to come and I won’t be able to do anything about it. What I am worried about is what I’ll do to survive once it does come. You see, I’ve lived the cushy life of a guy in communications – I write, organize events, produce and direct shows… my hands are soft from moisturizing lotions and my adventures are in a climate controlled mall. Sure I work hard for the money, but what good is all that when the financial system collapses due to civil unrest? This has been a lingering worry… should I blame my parents for sending me to university rather than trade school? Should I have hit nails with a hammer instead of hitting the books? When the world as I know it collapses, what use will all the decades of intellectual discourse be? I don’t have a trade, a professional commodity that will be of use to society when we have to survive or rebuild from the ruins. I should have gone to med school… or even nursing school. Doctors and nurses have it great. They have the money opportunities at good times, and will have plum positions in a crisis society. Even when cash becomes scarce they’ll get paid in poultry and produce. Me? I will be as useless as this blog when the day comes. Slap, slap, slap… BACK to the present time. It isn’t crisis time yet and things could go any which way so no need to indulge in the drama of worries that may or may not become reality. That’s the trouble with Pinoys – most of the time we get caught up in the drama of it all. In fact, we want to get caught in the drama of it all. We want to live that telenovela we crave for daily where every little heartache is the crisis of our lives. We imagine our eyes widening and jaws dropping, blurting out a Korean “Huh!?” or fair-skinned Mexicans exclaiming in Filipino, “O, hindeeee!” (dubbed kasi) whenever confronted with the crisis of the moment: son announces he is gay; hubby breaks leg in an accident; teenage daughter impregnated by her boyfriend, a neighbor or an alien… Our lives are one big telenovela and it invades our social, economic and political lives. Corruption scandals are viewed on primetime television live and unabridged, followed step by step, witness by witness and debated endlessly in barbershops and at dinner tables. We worry, we enjoy, we lose sleep, we eat more, we eat less… and we live for the drama, especially the cliffhanger ending where we don’t know where it is all going to take us. No more NFA rice? Food riots? Civil war? Abangan ang susunod na kabanata. Basta bida si Marian Rivera.