Breaking up is harder to do with Facebook

Breaking up is getting harder to do in the Facebook age: up to one-third of people find it difficult to delete photos and messages on the social network, researchers have learned.

 

In the world's first study into "digital dumping," the researchers from the University of California said the inability to delete such digital reminders of a relationship can prolong the pain.

 

Half of the subjects in the study said they preferred to immediately delete everything that reminds them of past relationships, but regret it once they do, UK's Daily Mail reported.

 

Of the 24 people aged between 19 and 34 and recently studied by the University of California, half said they deleted digital memories immediately following a breakup.

 

More than a third said they could not bring themselves to get rid of anything. The rest were selective in what they got rid of, and what they kept.

 

"People are keeping huge collections of digital possessions. There has been little exploration of the negative role of digital possessions when people want to forget aspects of their lives," said Steve Whittaker, a psychology professor at University of California Santa Cruz.

 

Digital possessions include photos, messages, music, and video stored in devices such as computers, tablets, phones, and cameras.

 

Digital possessions

 

In a paper titled "Design for Forgetting: Disposing of Digital Possessions after a Breakup," Whittaker and co-author Corina Sas, of Lancaster University, looked into the challenges of digital possessions, and their disposal after a romantic breakup.

 

The researchers found digital possessions creates problems during a breakup because photos and music remind them about their past relationship.

 

In interviews with 24 people aged between 19 and 34, Whittaker and Sas found digital possessions after a breakup are often upsetting and lead to "distinct disposal strategies."

 

Of the subjects, 12 were deleters, eight were keepers, and four were "selective disposers" who chose what to get rid of and what to keep.

 

In the study, Whittaker and Sas found some of the heartbroken wanted to forget but were "extremely resistant to actual deletion."

 

Of those who deleted their digital memories, many later regretted getting rid of everything.

 

"Some of the participants admitted that they immediately unfriended or blocked ex-partner's from accessing their profile," the Daily Mail said.

 

Status change: tough

 

Meanwhile, study by a Western Illinois University found that couples who have more interaction on Facebook are happier in real life.

 

Prof. Christopher Carpenter said users who appear in more photos with their partners and regularly tag each other in status updates report closer romantic relationships.

 

Similarly, less interaction led to less closeness, the study found.

 

Also, the study found that when people see their partner interacting with others on Facebook, they get jealous, but if they themselves tag their partner regularly, they are not jealous of their partner's interactions with others.

 

The report said majority in the study claimed the hardest part of an online breakup was changing a relationship status to Single.

 

Software solutions

 

Whittaker and Sas propose that software solutions might help clear the web of painful memories.

 

The researchers are eyeing software that can automatically harvest and remove all photos of a certain person using facial recognition, machine learning or entity extraction.

 

Without such disposal tools, they said most participants "either kept, or disposed of everything."

 

"Keepers took longer to heal, disposers often regretted their impulsiveness," they added.

 

Also, the authors proposed a "Pandora's Box" that could automatically gather all the digital artifacts of a relationship, and put them in a single place for deleting or retention. 

 

Another option would be to have a trusted friend act as a gatekeeper.

 

Tel Aviv research

 

The Daily Mail also noted a study by researchers from Tel Aviv University that linked psychotic episodes to Internet addiction and delusions stemming from virtual relationships.

 

The studies found a direct link between psychotic episodes and their internet or Facebook communications.

 

Resarchers in the study found that while the participants had underlying problems of loneliness, none had any history of psychosis or drug abuse.

 

Lead researcher Doctor Uri Nitzan also found some patients became so involved in an online relationship they hallucinated the person was reaching out of the screen.

 

While such virtual relationships were positive at first, they led to feelings of hurt, betrayal, and invasion of privacy. — TJD, GMA News