The Internet connection: Dating and the web
The Internet has certainly changed the world that everything we know isn’t what it used to be — dating included. For social networking pundit Janette Toral, the effects of the Internet on dating are favorable — at least in developing a relationship — saying that social networking profiles give people the tool to know their potential partner better. “Mas madaling manligaw, mas madaling i-imply that you are looking for a relationship… Puwede mo rin gamitin ‘yung online presence mo para ipakita ‘yung pagkatao mo, what you stand for, what you believe in, to the point na if you’re looking for a relationship, that person will have an idea about you,” she said in an interview on GMA New's "News to Go." “’Yung pag-form ng relationship, mas maganda kasi may transparency. Kasi ‘di ba, pwede mo mas kilalanin ‘yung tao… I-goo-Google mo lang siya, hahanapin mo lang siya, tapos makikita mo kung may mutual friends kayo so pwede ka mag-investigate,” she added. Still, meeting someone isn’t necessarily easier online. “Siguro mas madaling makapag-decide whether that person is right for you or not. Pero hindi necessarily mas madali makakuha ng partner.” According to Toral, the Internet is also good for those who are maintaining long-distance relationships. “Pwede sila magkaroon ng schedule na mag-o-online sila, mag-vi-video-chat sila. They can do things together like pareho kayong naglalaro ng isang game, nag-co-compete kayo sa contest. So kahit papaano, ‘di ba, patibay din ‘yun ng relationship. So sa mga may OFWs na minamahal, malaking bagay ‘yun, at ‘yun ang nag-re-replace sa personal dating,” she said. However, Toral added that while the Internet makes it easier to get to know someone and keep long-distance lovers in touch, it also makes it that much harder for a couple to break-up, owing to the public nature of Internet profiles. “Tingin ko mas complicated nga lang pag ‘yung paghihiwalay... dati, pag gusto mo makipag-break, kayo lang mag-uusap, siguro may ku-kuwentuhan lang kayong ibang tao, ‘di kayo magkikita, ‘di na kayo mag-te-text, ‘di kayo mag-ta-tawagan,” she explained. “Ngayon, kung naka-declare pa na you are in a relationship, tapos you have common friends pa, tapos nag-a-upload pa kayo ng mga pictures niyo, mga activities niyo… Pag nag-break na kayo, dun mahirap kasi mag-de-declare ba kayo na not in a relationship anymore…” she added. Aside from publicly changing one’s relationship status and inevitably being answerable to one’s entire social network, the difficulty of the break-up is intensified because the former couple remains connected on social networks. “Paano kung ‘yung isa naka-move on na at meron nang bagong nililigawan, kaya bang tanggapin nung isa na makikita niya sa wall, nag-po-post na siya ng pictures? How will your friends react? ‘Yung iba hindi basta-basta ma-unfriend [kasi] bitter ang dating mo,” Toral said. Toral advised users to make the most of what the Internet can offer by making their online presences more appealing and joining groups and offline meet-ups. Netizens need not try too hard. “Hindi mo naman kailangan din necessarily, deliberately maghanap. You can have a good profile, join the right networks na andun ‘yung hilig mo, enjoy yourself, and hopefully in the process, you will also meet ‘yung mga like-minded na tao na, who knows, pwedeng mag-click kayong dalawa.” — Amanda Lago/VS, GMA News