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Lifestyle

An idiot’s guide to Pinoy videoke


Pinoy sound. For many Filipinos, videoke is a national pastime. It doesn't matter if they can sing or not. AP, GMANews.TV
Many Pinoys are videoke addicts. Some love videoke so much that they commit murder for it. But even if you are that rare Pinoy who hates videoke more than you hate going to the dentist, there will come a time when you’ll be forced to endure the ordeal. In anticipation of that dreaded day, here’s a quick guide that will help you survive the singing session:
1. If you can’t sing to save your life, pick a Jose Mari Chan song. Contrary to popular belief, not all Pinoys can sing. For every Charisse Pempengco or Arnel Pineda, there are thousands of wannabes who sound like mating cats even when they’re just singing “Bahay Kubo" or “Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star." If you’re tone-deaf or sing off-key, you have Jose Mari Chan to thank for the most stress-free ditties of all time like “Beautiful Girl," “Constant Change," and “Tell Me Your Name." You can’t go wrong with these songs. You can sing them right even if you're lying down. You’ll get a decent score as long as you sing the words loudly. Don’t make the mistake of going for Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing," Aegis’ “Luha," or Rihanna’s “Umbrella." Any songs by Regine Velasquez, Josh Groban, and Bon Jovi are also off limits. Jose Mari Chan is your only hope—especially if your videoke showdown is a spur-of-the-moment affair.
2. Practice your signature song. You’re in luck if your videoke session is premeditated. You have time to somewhat improve your limited warbling skills. You can pick a song that’s not in the Jose Mari Chan discography and start practicing it in the shower or in a room that’s relatively soundproof. Again, don’t get ambitious. Remember that you’re not going to get paid for this. Stick to songs that you can sing without going into cardiac arrest. If you’re serious about making a good videoke impression, you can’t go wrong with “Yesterday" by the Beatles, “Somewhere Over the Rainbow" by Judy Garland, “Together Forever" by Rick Astley, and “Bizarre Love Triangle" by Frente! Don’t make the mistake of thinking that easy listening ballads are really easy. If you’re planning to sing One Republic’s “Apologize" or Colbie Caillat’s “Realize," don’t. Those two songs just sound simple when sung by professional singers. But you’re not one. You’re just a poor unfortunate soul trying to salvage your dignity. So, be careful about the signature song you pick.
3. Sing with feelings. For the most part, Pinoy videoke is all about having the guts to make a fool of yourself. You're not auditioning for Broadway so who cares if you sound bad? However, people can always tell when your heart is not in it. If you don't have a great singing voice, then all you have going for you is your delivery. Sing as if you're singing for world peace or a higher salary. As Pinoys would say, "Idaan mo na lang sa lakas ng loob!" If you're fearless enough to sing your lungs out, then all bets are off. Go ahead and pick Heart's "Alone," Haji Alejandro's "Panakip-Butas," and Leona Lewis' "Bleeding Love." Who knows? If a miracle happens, you may just sound like Susan Boyle when you close your eyes and throw your head back to belt out a challenging chorus. However, you have to take your feelings down a notch if your neighbors come knocking with the barangay tanod in tow. Of course, the best rule to follow when you've been coerced into a videoke session is to enjoy yourself. Sing some Air Supply, David Pomeranz, Barry Manilow, and Celine Dion songs. Embrace the kabaduyan. After all, it's part of your musical heritage. (And oh, never ever sing "My Way" on videoke. If you're a true blue videoke-loving Pinoy, you know why you shouldn't.) - GMANews.TV Graphics effects by Mark Merueñas