'Like saved conversations' – Aika Robredo reflects on her father's letters

Why did you decide to post his letters to you on the web?
 

Papa had always been very fond of writing us letters. When he started to get the hang of using his email to communicate, he would write emails whenever he could (waiting for a flight, in between flights/meetings, before he goes to sleep at night, etc). I lived in the dorm during college, and lived on my own for around 2 years after that. Being away from them, I guess I developed a habit of sending him random emails at night/dawn, whenever something was bothering me or whenever I'd get stressed or worried or tired over something.

I didn't realize until now that most of the letters were full of wisdom and contained his personal reflections – I could only I wish I had a little more life experience at the time he sent them because I probably would've appreciated them more.

 

Posting his letters was a grief coping mechanism for me. On days when I felt like I was missing him more than usual, his letters were, in a way, saved conversations with him in my head.

 

Who kept those letters with drawings that he sent you when you were about four years old and had you always known these were still around? Did you look at them often growing up?

My mother kept them in one of my photo albums. My dad sent those letters with pictures when he went on a trip to Germany in 1992. I remember this so well because it was probably one of his first trips that required him to be away from home for more than five days. I used to sleep between my parents, so my father being away was a big deal for me at that time. I had always known these letters were around (which particular photo album this was stored). But growing up, it wasn't something I intentionally looked for or looked at. I just remembered I had them while I was going through emails after his passing.

 

We noticed that he would confide in you and admitted to soul searching about his career and other matters. Were there things he would tell you in writing that he wouldn't or couldn't verbalize face to face?

Not really. I don't think he had a problem verbalizing these things face to face because we would always talk about them. I can think of several reasons why he would confide in me those things via email:

 

1. Whenever I had problems with regard to career choices, he would always assure me that I wasn't the only one going through it (hence his soul searching).

 

2. To emphasize/prove a point. Especially when he felt I asn't listening to him enough or if he thought I wouldn't like what he was about to say. A recurring message in his emails, for example, is to work hard even if you do not like or enjoy what you are doing (which I personally find very useful advice, especially to fresh grads).

 

3. Random reflections. He would often say "tumatanda na ako." And I'd like to think his letters to me were also his way of processing and reflecting on things. He also wrote emails to my mother. But she has no plans of posting them because she said most of them are "explosive." :-)

 

He talked about taking the family to America to live. Did the rest of the family favor that? What made him decide to stay put?

Actually, he was considering Canada. He might have mentioned America because I was considering getting an MBA there someday. We never really got to talk about it because my sisters were still young. And while he would often mention and think about life after being a mayor/DILG secretary, he felt that his work wasn't finished yet. But I also remember him saying several times, "Pagkatapos ko sa DILG, tapos na ako."

 

Did he give you advice about your love life?

I remember my dad telling me to "behave" before I left Naga for college and to "go for the man who loves you" (in response to the beauty pageant question "who will you choose: the man you love or the who loves you"). And when he gets interviewed, he would just say he trusts me enough to make my own choices. Aside from that, not really.

 

What are some of your favorite lines from his letters to you?

"Deliberate practice, meaning working to be skillful on the things that are difficult and unpleasant to do. Deliberate practice on things you do not want to do before doing what you want to do. This is what distinguishes the ordinary from the extraordinary."

 

"While I believe you owe it to where you came from to make a contribution, you will get there more comfortably if you succeed in your own career first. You cannot give what you do not have."

 

– GMA News

 

Photo courtesy of Aika Robredo