Where does the day go?

Part of a series on our moms—or about being a mom—for Mother's Day

My husband and I waited five long years before our darling Lucas came into our lives. When we were pregnant, we were so excited about all the places we would take him, the conversations we would have, the costumes we would build for him. We couldn’t wait to see him running around the village park, or chasing our cats, or traveling with us.

It was like we envisioned a five-year-old entering our lives. It seems we completely forgot that before he could run, talk, laugh, or wear costumes, he would be a tiny, helpless infant, dependent on us to feed and clothe him, change his diapers and generally keep him alive. It was like we had missed the memo that said, hey, this baby is going to take over your every thought, every minute of your day, every ounce of energy in your body.

Lucas was born in December of 2016, via caesarean section, after I endured 24 hours of painful labor. I stayed home for two months, recovering from the surgery and taking care of my precious son. And I learned a hard truth: parenting is back-breaking, time-consuming, brain-melting work.

Regina and baby Lucas.

Here’s what one day in the life of a new parent is like:

3:00 a.m.

My breasts hurt. I should pump. Where did we put the breast pump? Oh, there it is.

It’s cold this morning. Child is making sounds. Is he cold? Is he awake? No, he’s just making noises.

Why am I doing this in bed? I can barely see anything. Next time I should do this in the bathroom.

Now I have to put on a shirt so I can put this in the fridge. Which shirt won’t hurt my nipples too much?

I’m hungry. And thirsty. I’m too lazy to make food. But I’ll need to feed the child in a few hours. Fine, a peanut butter sandwich. And a glass of milk. Then maybe hot chocolate.

Okay, I’m full. I should sleep. I’m sleepy. It’s nice and cold. Wait, is the baby awake? No, he’s asleep. Okay. I should sleep.

What was that sound? Is he breathing? Is he hungry?

No, he’s still asleep. I really should sleep. I can do this. I will sleep.

6:00 a.m.

The baby’s awake. Are you hungry, Child? You look too sleepy to feed. Okay, let’s change your diaper. That’ll wake you up.

Oh look at all that pee! How does a tiny little boy like you make so much pee? Okay here we go, now your butt is clean! And you’re awake! Good morning! Did you sleep well? Are you hungry? Okay, let’s feed!

All right Child, here’s the boob. Don’t bite! Why are you so frantic? That milk is all yours, it’s not going anywhere.

Let’s see, how long have you been feeding? Thirty minutes lang ha, anak! The pedia said!

Ow ow ow don’t tug at the nipple please?

I think you’re done. Time to burp! Was that a burp? That sounded like a big burp! Good baby.

Mommy will have breakfast then we can go to the park! You’ll probably just sleep through the whole thing anyway. Is it sunny? Is it cold? No, there’s sunshine, we’ll be fine.

8:00 a.m.

I have a towel, a BB8 stuffed toy, and you’re wearing socks. Let’s see, what else? Mosquito patch, check! Water, check. Sunglasses, alcohol, handkerchief. We’re good! Here we go in the stroller.

Ugh go away mosquitoes, stay away from my child! Ugh people, please stay away from my child! Now we’re at the church. Lord, please don’t let me screw this up?

Child? Of course you’re asleep. Oh well, let’s just go around then go home.

We’re home! Let’s check your diaper. Did you poop? You pooped! It almost leaked! My goodness, who put all this poop in your diaper? Don’t worry, we’ll clean your butt. No, don’t move so much, you don’t want poop on your feet. Your feet are so cute and small.

There, clean butt! Happy now? Who’s a happy baby? You’re a happy baby!

You must be hungry. Are you hungry, Child? Let’s see. Oh, it’s been two hours! Let’s feed, so you can be big, and strong, and smart, and kind!

Are you done? Let’s go downstairs so you can hang out with Lolo. Stay with Lolo, so Mommy can finally go to the bathroom.

Yay, now Mommy gets to pee!

Mommy’s back! And you’re asleep. Good, time for me to eat! And work! Wow I’m hungry. Where’s my laptop? Why do I have so much email? Skip that, delete that. Write, write, write.

And now you’re awake.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

What, it’s 5 p.m.?

6:00 p.m.

Oh good, your father is home. There, go with Daddy! Mommy just needs to lie down for a few minutes.

What, dinner’s ready? Child, hang out with Lolo first so Mommy and Daddy can eat.

Mommy’s done! Are you a sleepy baby? Are you a hungry baby? Is it your turn to have dinner? All right, time to go upstairs. Good night Lolo!

Let’s do this bedtime ritual thing. Diaper? Let’s change it. You won’t latch properly if your butt is wet. Okay, clean butt! Let’s feed!

Latch properly, darling. Relax, the boob’s not going anywhere. Just feed.

Thirty minutes done! That’s enough! Daddy will burp you now.

Yay, you burped! Now, a sponge bath you so you’re nice and clean, like your butt! And let’s make sure Daddy doesn’t sit on the little tub full of water afterwards.

Yay, clean baby! Do you like that? You like the warm water, don’t you? You’re a happy baby! Let’s put you in your onesie. Is it backwards? No, it’s not backwards, yay! Are your mittens still clean? Have you been eating your mittens? Are your mittens yummy? Is that yummier than Mommy’s milk? Of course not. You’re smiling! Why are you so cute? How did we make such a cute baby?

Now it’s time for your bedtime story.

Not sleepy yet? Yes, you are! That’s your sleepy, lazy cry. Okay, second bedtime story! We’ll read two scenes from Shakespeare’s Star Wars? Oops, I don’t think you likes Darth Vader very much. Enough of that. We’ll sing.

Oh, how many times do we have to sing?

No, we are not rocking you to sleep.

Please sleep. You’re sleepy. Sleep! Sleep, so you can get big, and strong, and healthy! And smart and kind, don’t ever forget that!

Please sleep.

9:00 p.m.

You’re falling asleep! I’ll hold you for ten minutes. If you don’t wake up, I’ll put you in the crib.

Counting down… ten minutes! Putting you down slowly. Slowly… don’t wake up don’t wake up don’t wake up….

He’s on the crib. Extracting one hand. Slowly, slowly… yes, left hand is free! Extracting hand number two! Don’t wake up don’t wake up don’t wake up…. YES! MOMMY IS FREE!

Oh I’m so sleepy. I can’t believe I’m falling asleep at 9pm.

3:00 a.m.

My breasts hurt. I should pump. Where did we put the breast pump?