Can a wife say no to sex with her husband? Expert explains ‘marital rape’

Lovers sign up for a lot of things once they become man and wife, but does a woman lose the right to refuse having sex with her husband once she’s married?

The answer is no.

According to a legal expert in an episode of GMA Public Affairs’ “Ilaban Natin ‘Yan,” marriage does not mean a man can force his wife to have sex with him without her consent.

"Ang pakikipagtatalik ay obligasyon ng mag-asawa sa isa't isa, pero hindi nangangahalugan ’yun na anytime at all the time puwede mong pilitin ang iyong asawa na makipagtalik sayo,” Atty. Victor Lizardo III explained.

“Lalo pa pag kayo ay hindi mag-asawa or nagsasama lang sa batas. Kung sakaling pipilitin mo…puwedeng pumasok yan sa physical abuse, sa sexual abuse at doon na nga papasok sa tinatawag nating rape,” he added.

To put it simply: Sexual intercourse, even between married couples, is considered rape if it is not consensual.

The “Ilaban Natin ‘Yan” episode, which featured reenactment by Kapuso actors Anjo Yllana and Ruby Rodriguez, tackled marital rape, along with other issues that led to a bitter downfall of a couple’s relationship. 

The husband and wife, who also traded accusations of physical abuse and unfaithfulness, received some counsel from experts like Atty. Lizardo and psychologist Dr. Lillian Ng Gui, who reminded them that the welfare of the family should always come first.

"Ang tatay ang dapat nag-aalaga ng pamilya. Ang nanay naman ay dapat ilaw ng tahanan," the doctor said.

"Dapat ang ilaw ng tahanan ay maliwanag, hindi 'yung kumukurap-kurap. Intindihin natin ang isa't isa kung paano maaayos, maski maghiwalay kayo o magsama. Still, you have to be friends dahil may mga anak kayo."

The episode is quite timely, as the Commission on Human Rights emphasized the need for the government to put measures in place that would allow victims of domestic abuse to seek help despite the Luzon-wide enhanced community quarantine.

In a statement, CHR Spokesperson Jacqueline de Guia said that “increased threat to women and children can be a predicted consequence of the coronavirus lockdowns” due to uncertainty over the pandemic, restriction of movement, and financial constraints.

The Luzon-wide enhanced community quarantine has been extended to April 30 to help curb the spread of COVID-19.

As of April 6, there were 3,660 confirmed cases in the Philippines. — Margaret Claire Layug/LA, GMA News