If you’re looking for straightforward, no-nonsense pieces of advice on love and relationships, then give Rufa Mae Quinto a listen on the latest episode of “Updated with Nelson Canlas.”
In the latest episode, the Kapuso commedianne issued words of advice that at first listen, seem to only be funny and sometimes harsh but in actuality are wise and street-smart and good.
She's been married to her husband Trevor Magallanes since 2016, with whom she has one daughter named Athena.
They are currently navigating a long-distance relationship after Rufa Mae decided to come home to the Philippines, but she's not bothered at all. Rufa Mae clearly has love and relationships down pat.
Below, check out a few of Rufa Mae's wise words on love, relationships, and marriage.
1. On meeting your partner’s parents for the first time: “Maligo ka para fresh!”
“Magbihis ka [nang] hindi masyadong bastos, kagaya ko," Rufa Mae said, adding it is important to look presentable "para seryosohin ka nilang lahat."
Most importantly, Rufa says you must stay relaxed. "'Wag tayo masiyadong umasa na, baka feeling natin—kasi may ganun din na feeling. 'Ay pakikilala kita sa magulang, naku, siguro ano na to.' Tapos masasaktan lang tayo. Kaya relax lang. Just go, attend. Makinig, maging totoo lang, diba? Pag may tanong, sagot. Pag wala, eh 'di tahimik."
2. On (not) being clingy: “Kung binigay nila sa'yo 'yong two days nila, bigyan mo sila ng three to four days mag-isa”
According to Rufa Mae, it won't do you, your partner, or your relationship any good if you were too clingy. “Hindi naman maganda ‘yong kapit na kapit," she said.
But while she recommends giving each other personal space, Rufa warns "'wag tayo tanga."
She distinguishes between intuition and paranoia saying "pag kakaba-kaba ka lagi, eh mag-isip-isip ka na."
But among everything, Rufa Mae says the most important thing is to protect yourself.
3. On how to know whether to fight for love or to let go: ‘Pag mahal mo, lahat kaya mong tanggapin”
This is the most important thing to ask yourself, Rufa Mae said: “Mahal mo ba?"
"Kasi pag mahal mo, lahat kaya mong tanggapin. Pangalawa, sana 'wag ka niyang bugbugin nang pisikal na puwedeng ika-danger ng buhay mo, or wag lumiit ang tingin mo sa sarili mo."
Rufa Mae counts verbal abuse, or being made to feel small as among the factors that should tell you, it's probably best to just let go.
According to Rufa Mae, "pag talagang walang-wala na, malalaman mo naman 'yun. Kung balewala lahat ng ginagawa mo, tapos hindi mo na kaya, eh umalis ka na."
4. On getting tired in a relationship: “The greatest gift of all is to love yourself first”
Here, Rufa Mae leans in on the famous Whitney Houston song and says, when she's feeling exhausted, she really leans in on herself.
“'Pag napapagod ako, ang ginagawa ko, nagpapalakas ako personal," she says. "Kasi kung hindi ako strong, kung mahina ako, paano ko maalagaan 'yong anak ko? Paano ako gugustuhin ng asawa ko kung weak, 'di ba?"
Rufa Mae says it's important to be strong and really love yourself because "ang daming dapat [gawin] para mag-succeed ang relationship."
5. On loving two people at the same time: "Mahirap kasi dalawang sabay, ikaw nenerbyosin"
Among the fan questions Nelson asked Rufa was of a male having two relationships, one with a girl and another with a boy.
Rufa quickly said it was a tough situation to be stuck in. "Mahirap kasi dalawang sabay. Ikaw nenerbyosin," she said.
"Ang taong sinaktan mo na mahal mo, ang ending, ikaw rin ang masasaktan. Dahil nga mahal mo tapos sinaktan mo," Rufa continued.
Acknowledging the sensitive aspect of the situation, the commedianne gave quie the serious answer: "Magdasal ka muna sa kung anong tamang gabay."
"Ask for a sign," she continued, "pero kung ako kasi, ayoko talaga nang sabay-sabay kasi ginawa ko na yan before. Charot!"
When pressed for more details, Rufa Mae explained being courted by different mean at the same time.
"Lahat pwede mangligaw. May dadating sa bahay, kakatok tapos may kasama kang iba. Duon ko na-realize na ayoko. 'Di pala maganda magsabay-sabay, kahit na manliligaw lang," she said.
— LA, GMA News