Through a father's eyes: Emman Atienza, as remembered by Kuya Kim

Losing a child is an indescribable pain for any parent.

For the first time since Emman Atienza's passing, Kuya Kim sat down with Jessica Soho to remember his 19-year-old daughter.

On Sunday's episode of "Kapuso Mo, Jessica Soho," Kuya Kim said he'd like to think that Emman "did not die in vain."

"I know that nothing happens [by] accident, and I know that all things work out well. Everything is planned by the Lord," he said.

"This is not in vain," he added. "May dahilan. That gives me peace."

["This is not in vain. There is a reason. That gives me peace."]

Kuya Kim also opened up about Emman's long-term mental health struggles. She had been diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and Bipolar Disorder, and her inner pain was often masked by a strong facade.

"I raise very strong kids. Even Emman, I thought, was very strong," he said. "But I didn't know that deep inside she was also suffering kasi she put up a very strong front, a very happy front."

"Despite her pain, nagkukuwento siya, e. And that's a sign na OK ka. So, we felt she was OK kasi ang advocacy niya mental health, ang advocacy niya huwag made-depress. 'Yun pala, she was suffering," he added.

["Despite her pain, she would still tell us stories— and that’s a sign that you are okay. So, we thought she was fine because her advocacy was mental health, her advocacy was to not be depressed. We didn’t know she was suffering."]

'A little kindness'

Kuya Kim took pride in the legacy Emman left behind which continues to resonate with many people: "A little kindness."

"That's her life. She was a little kind every day," he said. "If I'm a little kind today, Emman is alive in my heart. That gives me comfort."

 “Nagugulat ako, even Americans, even people from out of the country are making comments about Emman and how she's touched their life," he added.

[“I’m surprised that even Americans, even people from out of the country are making comments about Emman and how she's touched their life.”]

Kuya Kim also brought up Emman's favorite quote from Friedrich Nietzsche: "And those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who couldn't hear the music."

"Emman heard this music that only she could hear," he said. "And she found it beautiful. And she was dancing to it. And she was inspiring people on social media."

Kuya Kim said that, at this point, he only wants to remember the good memories of Emman and not the way she died.

"I want to think of just the beautiful things. I want to think of how beautiful my daughter was, how smart she was," he said.

"Itong mga grim details, binibigay ko kay Lord 'yan," he added. "So, what's left in my memory is the beauty, and the advocacy, and the fire, and the passion."

["I leave all the grim details to the Lord."]

Kuya Kim said he is thankful for the "19 beautiful years" of Emman.

"In those 19 years, ang dami, ang dami na-inspire ng anak ko," he said.

[“In those 19 years, my daughter inspired so many people.”]

Emman's passing was announced by Kuya Kim and his wife Felicia on October 24. She was 19 years old. 

Emman's wake will be held on November 3 and 4, from 12 p.m. to 10 p.m., at Chapel 5 at The Heritage Memorial Park in Taguig City. 

For those who wish to seek consultation or assistance from mental health professionals, you may reach out to the following hotlines:

NATIONAL CENTER FOR MENTAL HEALTH (NCMH) CRISIS HOTLINE

0919-057-1553

0917-899-8727

HOPELINE PHILIPPINES (NATASHA GOULBOURN FOUNDATION)

02-8804-4673

0917-558-4673

0918-873-4673

0919-056-0709

0917-800-1123

0922-893-8944

TAWAG PAGLAUM - CENTRO BISAYA

0966-467-9626

0939-936-5433

0939-937-5433

IN TOUCH: CRISIS LINE

0919-056-0709

0917-800-1123

0922-893-8944

—Hermes Joy Tunac/MGP, GMA Integrated News