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'Tumataba ka!': Beauty queens Mariel De Leon, Elizbeth Clenci weigh in on that dreaded greeting
As the "-ber" months roll in, so will the food — and the unnecessary discussion about weight. There's your friend who's obsessed about keeping the pounds off and the "well-meaning" family member who can't get over the fact that you're no longer than skinny teen you were a decade ago.
Beauty queens are no stranger to being scrutinized for their weight and GMA News Online asked two of the most empowered Binibining Pilipinas titlist about that dreaded greeting: "Uy, tumataba ka!"
"For me it's a very rude thing to say or to talk about, in the first place, why would you even care? (Why would you) even say that?" Miss International Philippines 2017 Mariel De Leon told GMA News Online in an interview on Tuesday.
De Leon and fellow queen Miss Grand International Philippines 2017 Elizabeth Clenci both recognize that it has become part of Filipino culture, which makes some people think that it's okay.
"It's really difficult, because it's (part) of the culture in the Philippines that you don't see around the world, it's really just us," Clenci told GMA News Online in a separate interview.
"I guess they just don't realize how rude it can be and how it can make someone feel. It's so funny because I'm sure they've all heard it and they've also all said it, so (they) know how it feels...so why do they still say it, you know?"
Clenci shared that although beauty queens are under scrutiny for their weight, dealing with negative comments about weight from a family member, e.g. your mom or your aunt, is tougher to handle.
"It's different from when your mom says it at home, it's not nice. You go home (and that's what you hear) and it creates a lot of body image issues. Is that really the first that you want to think about, your weight?" Clenci said.
For De Leon, the people who regularly dispense criticism about someone else's weight should do a bit of soul-searching and really think about their impact on other people's lives.
"I think they should really be conscious about words that come out of their mouth, because you never really know how you could affect someone," De Leon said, "Even if you think it's harmless or if you don't mean anything by it, you never know how someone else will accept it, because we're all different."
Clenci admitted that her response to "tumataba ka" depends on her mood, but she ultimately believes in being frank about how you feel when you hear it.
"I think honesty is the best policy, so it's important for us to speak up. There's a culture in the Philippines where we can't really say anything because we have to respect our elders, but I think times are changing," she said.
"I'm not trying to change any culture, I was raised in a very Filipino household where you have to respect your elders, but just because you have to respect your elders doesn't mean you can't communicate."
Living in a digital age, Clenci also believes that there are a number of different platforms where more empowering messages can be shared.
"I posted something on Instagram the other day and we really should be using social media (to combat body shaming)," she said, "And even just at home, to not put so much emphasis on the weight, because it can create a bad relationship with food and self-image issues."
"We should be careful with our words," she added.
Asked how people who are receiving this remark should respond, De Leon jocularly responded, "Throw wine at their face! Joke lang!"
More seriously, the beauty queen said, "For the people who hear that, they should just brush it off. It's your life, do what you want. If you want to eat lechon or halo-halo, then eat. Don't care about them."
"Just laugh it off. You never know where it's coming from, better to ignore it...just like bashers," she added. — LA, GMA News
