How this couple makes their long-distance relationship work

Long-distance relationships are hard work, and more often than not, they lead to failure. It's disappointed many couples who have given it a try, only to fail after a few new friends, busy work schedules and the struggle to communicate thanks to time difference.

But such is not the case for Janine Briones, 23, who lives in the Philippines and her boyfriend Val Sanchez, 25, who is based in Canada. This couple has kept their relationship strong and alive for five years and counting.

Janine and Val during their most recent month-long date in Hong Kong

Janine and Val's paths crossed in 2012 but the two were only formally introduced at a party in January 2013 when Val was in town for a vacation.

After turning Val down three times, Janine finally said agreed to a date with Val. In fact, they went out on three dates before he left. 

At that time, Val did not have any social media accounts — Janine tried stalking him online and ended up with nothing. Out of her frustration, she asked for his email address and shot him an email a day after his flight back to Canada. And thus their love story began.

"Nung first time kami nagkakilala, ‘di ko talaga inexpect na this would work. Pero I still sent him that email luckily, he was interested din pala to continue what started here in Manila," Janine shares. 

"Parang may something na nagsabi sa 'kin na this would work out if I just tried. And it did," she continues. 

After emailing for a month, the two transferred to Skype, before she finally convinced Val to create a Facebook account. From there, they transferred to Facebook messenger.

Six months after their consistent exchange of messages, the two decided to make their relationship official and it has always worked ever since.

What makes people’s jaws drop about their relationship is that they have only seen each other three times in their five years together.

Here, the couple tells us how they make their LDR work. 

1.  Communicate and be open

Janine and Val agree communication is important in every relationship, whether long distance or not.

“I can’t stress enough how important communication is when you’re in a LDR or in any relationship as a matter of fact. Be open with each other and don’t be afraid to tell your partner anything.”

Misunderstandings happen but they correct it right away by talking about it. “We don’t hold anything in because that’ll only make things worse. Similar to overfilling a balloon with air. If you hold it too long you’ll explode and make things worse,” Val said.

They've even made the most out of the 12-hour time difference: “He wakes me up sa morning kasi kailangan ko na pumasok by the time he goes home naman from work and same the other way around,” Janine said.

“Making the effort to do video call and sending photos of your activities for the day even with the busy schedules. For me it builds the connection and familiarity with each other. It also creates that feeling of confidence and trust with your partner,” she continued.

2. Cherish every moment you get to spend together physically

Janine and Val only see each other for a couple of months once every two years. In their five years together, they’ve only spent time together three times.

Their most recent meeting was in August 2017, where they went around Philippines and Hong Kong, it was also Janine's first birthday with Val.

"Physically being with each other after months/years is real special to us or any LDR couples because it is like falling in love over and over again. We cherish every moment we have because we know this moment is only temporary," Val said.

3. Accept that your relationship isn't like any other relationship

It's important to keep in mind that you have a different kind of relationship with a different set of expectations.

"It’s really a tough job to keep alive. You can’t have the same expectations. No weekend dates, no hatid-sundo ni boyfriend, no biglaang movie dates. But the good side of this is that you will really savor and appreciate the time you will spend together when he comes back."

4. Don't give up on romance

Just because you're far away from each other, it doesn't mean you can't experience "romance". For Janine and Val? They play truth or dare and Q&A games that test how they know each other.

"Don’t ever give up on romance. There are tons of activities for LDR couples online, which we tried by the way, and it was fun! It can be games or just plain eating together when skyping."

5. Have a life of your own

Valuing a person does not equate to depending your happiness on them, and for the two, it's helped them build themselves as persons.

“You’ll have more time to build yourself, meet new friends and do activities to keep you from feeling longing for your partner,” she said.

6. Have patience and remember that it's worth it

If you want to have a successful LDR, Janine and Val say you need a lot of patience because there will be a lot of waiting and a lot of sacrifices.

“Patience. Patience and more patience because there will be times where you want to be with them, but you can’t,” Val stressed.

7. Plan on closing the gap

Even if you can live the LDR, you don't plan on being in it for the rest of your lives. What makes Janine and Val's work? Having the “the end goal to close its gap,” Janine said.

For Janine and Val, they're looking at a three-year plan. "Mahirap na tumagal pa kami na magkalayo. We're not getting any younger. No wedding bells yet, but we were planning na I move there as immigrant,” Janine said. — LA/JST, GMA News