Bullies are the ones with problem, not their victims, says psychologist

Bullies are sometimes viewed as strong individuals but truth be told, they are the ones with a problem, according to “Share Ko Lang” resident psychologist Dr. Anna Tuazon.

Dr. Tuazon shared this insight with “The Clash” Season 3 champion Jessica Villarubin, who had opened up on “Share Ko Lang” on how she suffered from bullying.

According to Jessica, she would always see comments on social media saying she was ugly and she might find it hard to get an audience.

“I think about it often because I’m very conscious with my physical appearance. I wasn’t confident with myself,” she said in Filipino.

The singer said she had been criticized for her looks since she was young, but she chose to fight through it because she had a dream for herself and her family.

“I’m thankful for my talent because this is what I used to get to where I am now. I used it to have an allowance and pay for my tuition. It really helped me,” she said.

“It’s so hard when you’re compared to others but you need to be strong especially when you enter show business,” she added.

Having gone through cosmetic surgery in January, Jessica said she’s now more confident with herself and realized it’s not her fault that she got bullied.

“I know who I am and what kind of person I am so I won’t mind whatever comments they still have of me,” she said.

According to Dr. Tuazon, confidence is something you “build” through experience and being able to surpass bullying proves one’s strength.

“‘Pag sinabing confident, alam mo kung sino ka, tanggap mo kung sino ka, tanggap mo yung kakayahan mo, tanggap mo rin yung limitasyon,” she said.

[When we say you’re confident, it’s knowing and accepting who you are, your capabilities, and even your limitations.]

She added that in most cases, bullies knew what they lacked so they picked on others to let their insecurities out.

“Yung mga nambu-bully ’yung may kulang sa kanila kaya hindi nila ma-tolerate kapag nakita nila ’yung talento ng iba. Hindi nila matanggap na wala silang gano’n,” she said.

[Bullies are the ones who lack something so they can’t tolerate it when they see others’ talents. They can’t accept that they don’t have that.]

The psychologist said it was important for bullies to do a self-check first and realize that the ones they were bullying were not at fault.

“Buo ka na noon pa. Six years old ka pa lang, total package ka na (you’re already whole. At six years old, you’re already a total package),” she told Jessica.

Jessica, known as the “Power Diva” from Cebu, revealed her new look in March.

She won the third season of “The Clash” in December. – Franchesca Viernes/RC, GMA News