Personal Essay: Pinoy debunks misconceptions about the French

Earl Robles is an R&D Embedded Systems Engineer for a recognized global industry leader in embedded security technologies. He lives with his wife and newborn in the north of Paris. In this personal essay, he debunks some common misconceptions about the people of France, a place he has come to love. As with other races, French people are victims of "stereotyping." Negative stereotypes about French people were most likely brought about by seemingly unpleasant brief encounters with people in France, or maybe elsewhere, or even as visa applicants at the French Embassy. For Filipinos, the differences in demeanor of the French make it hard to sift through the contrasting non-verbal cues. It is easy to mistake, for instance, some facial expressions and intonations as signs of an antagonistic stance. These usual misinterpretations give birth to the stereotypes that people know of them. It took me about a year in France, living in the north of Paris before I started to chip off the shell of cultural differences and derive rich lessons and reflections from these very misconceptions. Misconception #1: Superiority complex This stereotype is probably the first thing one has observed about the French. It’s probably a conclusion people make when they receive a sharp "Non" (No) response, while asking, “Parlez-vous anglais?" (Do you speak English?). It does not happen all the time but probably that single flat negative answer along with the stern accent and rigid head gesture, gives a lasting impression that the French dislike conversing in a language other than their own. Thus, they seem to want people to conform to them rather than the reverse. A funny personal experience happened to me while shopping with my wife. I asked a sales lady the same question. Receiving that notorious sharp no response, I was then forced to speak in French, “Avez-vous une autre couleur?" (Do you have another color?), and she replied “Yes, I do. They are over there.", in good English. Puzzled by the apparent lie, I asked, “Mais, vous parlez bien anglais" (But, you speak English well) and she replied, “Oui, mais pas tres bien" (Yes, but no so well) and smiled. A French colleague, would later tell me that French people receive early training in English but never really got to practice often an English conversation. As a result, a lot of them are shy to converse in English. Far from superiority complex, the occasional refusal to speak the global language of business, is more the reluctance to speak the language because of a perceived lack of fluency. Another French colleague tells me that the proficiency in their own language is an indication of the quality and level of education of someone in France. This is in contrast to what we have at home in the Philippines, where the level of skill on a foreign language (English) is our own measuring rod for the level of education and even the level of social class. Oftentimes, we encounter OFW families (or even those who reside in the Philippines) who pride themselves of having children that don’t speak a word of Filipino, gladly showing off to relatives and friends, their American “twang" or British accent. It is sad that somehow the only Filipino left in them is their external physical features. On the other hand however, it is very admiring to see Filipino families, living abroad who still teach their kids the beautiful Filipino language. Some are even are even European in physical attributes, but speak with very natural Filipino accent. We Filipinos need to love our own language and learn to appreciate its grammatical simplicity which astounds even my French friends (after teaching them the simple rules of “conjugating" a Tagalog verb, devoid of any irregular cases). After all, simplicity is beauty. Misconception #2: Rudeness As many people observe, a smile to a French will most likely return a blank stare. My wife and I, experienced this unreciprocated smile, many times in our numerous visits to the French Embassy. “Service with a smile" as we noticed, seemed to be not a French practice. This is probably why they earned this reputation of rudeness. Being aware of this on my first day at work in France, I tried hard to suppress this urge to smile every time, I encounter a colleague. Being Filipino, this required super human effort. It was fortunate though that I need not prolong this struggle against nature as I learned shortly that French rudeness is indeed a myth. Not only was I greeted with smiles, I was also greeted with “beso-besos" and firm handshakes. I get to know that my French colleagues are in fact one of the warmest and affectionate people I know. The French do indeed smile, but seldom to strangers. This is probably part of their social etiquette of trust and confidence. One needs to wait until one is brought into the circle of familiarity, rather than imposing one’s entrance into it. After which, one is addressed with the familiar pronoun “tu" (you) rather than the formal and respectful “vous." It doesn’t necessarily mean that one needs to earn it with difficulty, as it can be given immediately upon meeting, but one surely must respect it for politeness. Respect for trust and confidence is mutual. It does not seem to be taken against someone when familiarity is delayed or even, not given. Although, the French have their own version of “pakikisama," it does not seem to be coercive, where the numbers dictate some social rules to gain group familiarity. It is based rather on mutual respect, where each one values the giver of the trust. Moreover, mutual respect to them, means not only respecting one’s intimate space, but also one’s time and one’s movement/activity. As a bus driver told me one time, “On doit preparer la monnaie en avance pour respecter les autres." (One must prepare coins before hand, to respect the others). This is to avoid being an obstacle to people getting to their destination on time. One interesting social behavior for me, is the Metro experience. The scene in the Parisian Metro is the same with the MRT every rush hour. During the busiest hours, a few centimeters separate your face from the one next to you. There is however a striking difference in behavior when the train stops: People at the doors, get off to politely give way to those exiting. In contrast to the MRT, where one needs to push your way to the door. People don’t want to give way, or worst, people push back to further block outgoing movement. This is out fear of not being able to come back inside. Perhaps, the scene may be a light manifestation of the well-known “talangka syndrome" that many academics have written and spoken about - something that is unconscious or unintentional individually, but evidently observed collectively in different settings. The perception of people getting to their destination at the expense of one’s own is probably, a cultural phobia that has complex historical roots, but it is a mentality we need to surmount, as it can be self-destructive and an obstacle to progress. Looking at things from the paradigm of mutual respect (that leads to mutual benefit), can provide ways to struggle against this tendency and to avoid negating other positive collective traits we have. Misconception #3: The Love for disputes One might have heard French people discussing passionately and oftentimes with a certain type of melodic intonation that we Filipinos use for sarcasm. Somehow, this scene paints a picture that the French love to argue passionately. In my experience of French meetings, arguments are almost always present. It’s very rare that subordinates, just take the directions of the bosses “as-is, without question". And it is not frowned upon, if a subordinate questions or disagrees with certain decisions of superiors. Moreover, amidst all of these, reason is given importance. If one has a complaint or a disagreement, one needs to reason it out clearly. Being the birthplace of philosophical rationalism, this high regard for reason is probably the great legacy of those renowned French thinkers we know from history books. So high is their regard for reasoning, that they require all high school students to take a nationwide exam dedicated only to Philosophy. I was actually amazed to find out the type questions they included in this exam questions such as: “Peut-on prouver une hypothèse scientifique? Expliquer" (Can one prove a scientific hypothesis? Explain); “ La liberté est-elle menacée par l'égalité? Expiquer" (Is liberty threatened by equality? Explain). Being a late enthusiast of philosophy in the late years of my university days, I would have loved to answer these questions back then. However at an age, where one is typically preoccupied with the petty and superficial questions in life, one would care less. In our culture to be called a “pilosopo" is something negative. It seems to denote a kind of irreverence or someone who is not serious. An attitude that might have stemmed from our view that respect towards the elderly (superiors, and even friends) necessitates blind obedience or non-disagreement, to a degree that reason needs to be sugar-coated a lot of times to evade a semblance of disrespect. It’s probably why an impersonal and detached criticism of one’s work or idea, is hard to achieve without personal grudges in our culture. We learn from philosophy that reason is a faculty of the mind that knows no emotion, no intonation, nor sarcasm. (Note: I also learned later the melodic French intonation is not necessarily sarcasm after all, but part of their normal speech pattern.) Reason, therefore is a tool - a system of arriving at validity of things. So much so, that emotions need to be detached from it when it is invoked. It is something, we Filipinos can learn from, as we try to struggle against our sentimentality amidst reasoning. Misconception #4: Love for "Non-Work" Before coming to France, I have worked with the French counterparts remotely. I would always be surprised to discover “out-of-office vacation" email notifications lasting for one month or more. It is very different from the Philippines, where the number of mandatory vacation leave credits last only for 2 weeks. Long vacations are intrinsically part of the French lifestyle. In August, buses and metros are almost empty. Shops are closed. The pace of life seems to slow down. The scene is similar to the Lenten season in the Philippines but a lot longer. This lifestyle was a bit of a culture shock for me, being raised by entrepreneur parents who have to work all the time and being exposed to a number of Silicon Valley technology companies, whose CE’s do not seem to sleep. My French tutor who is a retired senior executive of a large multinational company, told me that time outside work, is usually time spent with family. He also said, that the French meal is an important part of family life. This is why a lot of effort is given in the preparation of their meals, as the dining table is an important meeting place for the family. Apart from the family life, leisure time is also given importance. As it is a time to recharge ones energies for work, to the extent that French doctors even prescribe , mandatory days of vacations when needed. It is not viewed as time lost, rather as something necessary for productivity gain. To paraphrase Stephen Covey, the same person who goes to work, is the same person who goes home to his family. A person who is recharged and happy at home, would bring the same energies and disposition to work - a view probably, Filipino companies can learn from. Misconception #5: Elitism The French Visa, is arguably the hardest European Visa to acquire. It took my wife and I several months before we could acquire them. Our personal and professional plans were at the mercy of the French Consul for a while and it was not exactly the easiest situation to be in. Afterwards however, I discovered that friends with advanced degrees and those pursuing graduate studies in France had a lot easier time than us. Moreover, immigration policies for those who acquired MS Degrees in France are more lenient, taking half of the usual processing time. In fact a special classification exists for PhDs, scientists and artists, for facilitating their integration to French society. In contrast, it is ironic that those who acquire advanced degrees have lesser employment opportunities back home. While it can be demonstrated overseas, that the product of our best universities (despite the various areas of improvement) can work alongside with those who are foreign educated. At home, there are those who downplay these very same graduates with advance degrees and undervalue them. I know several cases for example, where a number of talented engineers who fail in their local job applications for some incomprehensible reason (probably political which is indeed never comprehensible). They later however, find themselves doing cutting-edge work in prestigious companies abroad, providing the very core technologies to the local companies they tried to join in the first place. While other countries embrace talent, back home, we fail to make them stay. Hence, the brain drain continues. To reverse this, we can learn from the French on how they value talent and how they keep them. They are not threatened nor afraid of talent, they embrace them. While writing this essay, I am embarrassed to admit that I did find it easy to think along these very same misconceptions. However I take comfort that Rizal, who stayed in France to continue his medical studies (and to attempt to write his second novel in French), was not exempt from this. He had for himself his own misconceptions (albeit presumptuous) on the Europeans, that drove him to study passionately ethnography in order to determine the truth behind racial equality. In the end, he writes as one of his conclusions, “Race only exists for the anthropologists", as he explains, “The same passions and pains that affect the white, yellow, brown and black races; the same motives influence their action, only the form in which the emotions are expressed and the way the actions are directed are different." At a distance, we see how different we are from the French. At close view however, underneath this shell of cultural difference, we see how much we are alike – two races with the same passions, yearnings and aspirations. It is how we respond to these inner similarities, that define us as a people. - VVP, GMA News