Without money, OFW stays away from family

Isang batang nabuhay sa isang liblib na lugar ng Agusan na kailangang maglakad ng 5 kilometro sa madaling araw (papasok sa eskwela) at (pauwi) sa gabi mula sa elementarya at sekondarya. Tiniis ko ang hirap para lang makapagtapos. ‘Yan po ang aking buhay. Nag-aral ng kolehiyo sa Mindanao State University - Iligan Institute of Tehnology. Salat sa suporta ngunit dahil sa kahirapan, at nakipagsapalaran sa Maynila. Nagtiis ng 8 taong hindi nakita ang mga magulang sa pag-asang dala-dala sa isipan ang paninindigang, "I shall come back home with Pride and Honor." Yet, everything is a damn false pride...at may mas mahalaga pa sa lahat ng bagay..ang makita ka ng mga mahal mo sa buhay... I hope my story inspires.... Best Regards, Ore L. Hendive "Fortitude…Heartbeat of an OFW" Life of Ore L. Hendive If I have to share my experiences abroad as an OFW, it is more than a true movie. I cannot even find an answer why I chose to work abroad in 2003, my first time experience despite having enough money and with opportunities to find a better job in the Philippines. Nevertheless, I was driven by my curiosity and desire to experience working abroad. I must admit, that I also wanted to earn more by working abroad compared to my work in the Philippines. I was also curious to know what was more important to OFWs. Was it the prestige that comes with working abroad because of the dollars they earned? Is it better to live abroad than in the Philippines? I wanted these questions to be answered. I worked before as Analyst/Technician in a Nickel Refinery in Surigao City. After (finishing) my studies, I moved to Manila and had my small Internet shop in Libertad, Pasay, which I had stopped operating after a year due to high maintenance cost. My friend who worked in an agency in Manila as Operations Manager helped me with my application to their agency. She helped a lot by backing me up while the interview was conducted just to make sure that I would be selected by the employer. A million thanks to her! There luckily, I was on the list and immediately, I took my medical examination and paid my processing fee. In just a week, everything was completed. My application was processed very fast compared to others. I started counting the days of my departure. My face was covered with a big smile as an expression of my happiness and excitement. "This is it!" was the first thing that came to my mind when I took my first flight going to Saudi Arabia on March 22, 2003. As I took my first step inside NAIA, I had mixed feelings of excitement, fears, and hopes for my future and for my family. As I looked through the window as the plane was taking off, I took a last glimpse of my beautiful country. It's like seeing the entire map of the Philippines. I wanted to wave goodbye but I could not. I kept looking at the entire city of Metro Manila until the clouds covered everything. I am an OFW now. Yes I am! When I arrived late night in Saudi Arabia, my excitement slowly turned to loneliness. As I woke up early in the morning, my feet didn't feel like stepping on the land. I felt homesick and I heard myself saying, "I want to go home," with falling tears in my eyes. I could not explain the feeling of wanting to go back to my country right then. That moment, I realized how valuable my country was, how comfortable I can move around, how freely I can express myself. I suddenly realized that I didn't need to go to other countries, because the Philippines is a better place to live. Back in the Philippines, I used to hate the government, the traffic, the people and the society. I never learned the value of being who I am in my own country. That being a Filipino in a little way to my country is a big PRIDE. The day after I arrived, I walked outside the market to familiarize myself with the place, then I heard a word so precious to my ears. "KABAYANNN…" The first lovely voice I heard from somebody who was calling me from behind. What a nice word to hear! It's like a magical word that eases your feeling of homesickness. A word that seemed he knows me well, long time ago. A word that made me ask the meaning of the word. Is it recognition? Does he need some help? Is he asking me to be his friend? I am homesick here. Thanks I found you and your presence relieved my homesickness, Or, can you be my companion here in another land? Then, I found the answer. Yes, I was so happy that I got to meet other Filipinos that time, whom I can often see, talk to perhaps to share my problems and can help me, and can perhaps empathize with me. The word "Kabayan" serves as a bridge to connect the hearts of all Filipino OFWs anywhere in the world. It sounds good to hear this word from our fellow OFWs. You know and you can feel you belong to one race. I struggled with my feelings of homesickness. I had no choice but to move on. I tried hard to set aside this feeling in my workplace because I wanted to stand out, to be the best. I was among three persons interviewed for a job. I was selected and was assigned to work in Saudi Aramco. There I worked with another Filipino in the office, who was so selfish in giving me work-related information. However, I was determined to deal with this problem. I could not understand why this person saw me as a threat instead of looking at me as a fellow Filipino worker working together for the same company. We had frequent encounters and arguments about work but I never showed any negative feelings. I found it extremely difficult to adjust to him. It reached a point when I cried and wanted to go back home because he hid some of my documents from my files for no reason at all. Until finally, by the end of the year, he realized that there was no one he could run to in times of need but me. We, the OFWs are paid to be shouted at and to work hard. This is an important reality in my work. Lucky are those who can find a good employer. Other co-workers of other nationalities are so stupid to watch every move you make thinking and waiting for you to make a mistake or to steal something. In the work place, you must play all tricks, in order to keep away from trouble and lessen your work responsibilities. They know that Filipinos are one of the best workers, hence they will use you if they can for their benefit. However, a great tragedy I experienced was when I was caught and jailed for three days on September 26, 2004, one year and six months after my arrival. At that time, I was about to take an emergency vacation back to the Philippines. I was outside of the mall, on my way to the bank to check my money when there were two TNT (Tago ng Tago - overstaying in Saudi) Filipinos who were caught while walking outside the mall. I was trapped in the middle of the illegal Indians escaping, too, until I was also interrogated. The only document I had was the IQAMA, a residence certificate, since my passport was with my employer and my company ID in Aramco had been surrendered. When they saw my Iqama, they asked me where I worked and when I answered "Saudi Aramco" they asked for my company ID, but I could not produce one. The police officers could not speak English, and I could not speak Arabic fluently, so they brought me to the headquarters. It was Wednesday night. Thursdays and Fridays were weekend, so there was no work in Aramco. I could call my boss with my mobile because it was confiscated. Therefore, I stayed three nights and three days inside the jail. That moment, I was filled with anger and fear. I explained everything in court until the judge was convinced that I was not an illegal alien. Three days and three nights inside the jail was a long experience for me. This was an experience I never told my family so that they would not worry about me. Life as a prisoner in Saudi is very different compared to the prisoners here in Philippines. I used to visit political prisoners in the Manila City Jail and Quezon City Jail together with the NGO's and church groups. The jail in Philippines is over populated, the sanitation is worse. It's not easy to be imprisoned in another country. You are like an abandoned person in a far, far land. But I survived my stay in the prison with the strength and the courage because of my strong belief in righteousness. There was no one to help me, no one to listen and comfort me inside the four-cornered room. All I saw were brown and tired faces of migrants. I was wondering what will happen to me if I will be jailed for a year or more and how I can contact my friends and my family in the Philippines. It was Saturday morning when they released me from the jail. I almost wanted to run outside, searching for someone to hug. I wanted to cry on somebody’s shoulder, but to whom? I tried to stay calm but my heart was like a desert that needs water to wet it again. Full of hatred and disappointment, I told myself not to go back to Saudi anymore. My employer didn't give my salary to make sure that I would comeback after one month from my emergency vacation. But I chose not to comeback anymore. I left Saudi on October 3, and I was on the plane on my birthday. I hid inside the blanket, and cried while watching my hands. I imagine the greatest gift I received was being set free from the jail. I arrived in Manila the next day, October 4, 2004. I went home without money in my pocket. It was my friend in Quezon City, who paid for my taxi. The problem didn't end up yet. I expected that as long as I could go back home safely in the Philippines was more than enough. Back in the Philippines, my problem became worse. I was ashamed to face my parents because I had no money to give to them. "Where is the PRIDE? I am an OFW and yet, here I was, penniless!" This was the first thing I recalled. I didn’t show myself to them. My family did not know about the things that happened to me. They never knew that I was already back in the Philippines. They never knew how much I wanted to hug them, but because of my ego and false pride, I chose not to face them. My friends whom I brought to Manila and helped them find jobs were all gone now because they knew I had no money. Looking back I could imagine how I survived without money for one year and six months in Manila. Until one day, I tried to call my sister and told her everything that happened to me. She helped me financially. One day, my gums were swollen so badly, numbed and grew like a tennis ball due to my molar tooth. When my sister sent me enough money, I decided to go back to Iligan City, a place where I finished my college to take a rest. Without extra money left, not even a single peso to buy even for medicine just to relieve the pain, I thought it was the end of my life already. I could not even open my mouth to eat, and it was even harder to drink water and to talk. I stayed with my old landlady who owed a lot from me before, but she was just like my other friends who abandoned me. My friends secretly called and forced my sister to take me back to Surigao. I stayed with my sister's house in Surigao City for a week until my gums were healed. Then, I decided to go back to Manila to find a second chance to work abroad. The money I had was just enough for my fare but I told my sister, I would take care of my food once I arrived there. There, I knew of one priest from France in the ship, a director from AOS-Cebu while sailing back to Manila. He helped and recommended me to SCPM, a haven for migrants in New Manila. In SCPM I lived like a rugged man, unhealed of all the sufferings, and lacking money and food. I just closed my eyes to my feelings of shame to all the center staff and to other OFWs. But (developing) closeness with them helped me survived. I just took a deep breath of suffering on occasions I only ate once in a day. However, I didn't mind the hunger at all for as long as I could receive a phone call from an agency for a job interview. The emptiness from a family's love was replaced slowly by the smiles of the tired faces of the migrants in the center. "It was not me alone…we were many…". This line kept repeating in my mind and heart and this helped me survive. I never felt tired of walking on the dusty streets of Metro Manila just to follow-up my applications. I just closed my mind to think of hunger and wearies and imagine that the heat of the sun is just water that pours my body, that the noise and pollution in the streets were just like music to give me courage to move on and fight for my dream. Yet, it was not enough, until I could meet my parents soon. Luckily, I was selected to work in a trading company in Doha. I arrived on May 11, 2006. Without money to pay for placement and processing of documents, I had to ask assistance from anyone, like Mr. to Ms. to Mrs. or Fr, all of them. I was never ashamed to ask help from them, just to get this second chance to work abroad. With all humility, I asked the agency to let my placement fee be deducted from my monthly salary and thanks God, they agreed on the last minute of the day of my deployment. I am blessed where I am working now. My prayers have been answered. My boss treats us humanely. He guides me through tough times and he understands my weakness and appreciates my strength. I have reestablished my contact with my parents and sent them money. I was able to establish contact by phone to my parents. One day, I heard my mother's words on the phone saying, "Anak..miss na miss na kita." Then, she hanged up the phone. That moment, I knelt down and I cried so hard while I was hiding in a dark corner of my office. End of March 2007, I requested my boss (to allow me) to take a vacation just to (be able to) meet my parents. At that time, he agreed and I was so excited to meet my parents. I did not give any detail to my parents that I am going back home, except for my sister and her husband who helped me before. April 04, when I arrived in Manila, I immediately took a flight to Butuan where my sister was waiting. When I arrived home, my mother who didn’t know at all (I was coming) was surprised and (she) cried nearly to death. Same with my Father who was little drunk that time. There, everything was like a time of a stormy weather, with a heavy rain pouring. We missed each other. It was a Good Friday when I arrived and it was a big celebration of (the homecoming of) a Prodigal Son. I know, I got a false expectation that money could compensate (for) my parent's happiness but (realized that) my presence (was) far more important. How many more families that OFWs left behind dreamed the same as my parents? That I can't count, but I know it runs into thousands. I know that whoever reads my story, especially those who knows me could not believe what I have been through. They know me as a happy person. They saw my eyes before, full of energy, full of fun, and without traces of worries.But they don't know that behind my eyes, I am putting a big block to prevent tears from falling. My story is not to convince those who planned to work abroad to follow (in) my footsteps, but to open their minds to the harsh realities and frustrations they are likely to face. This is the life of an OFW. Working abroad is not just fun and pride as I expected before. That money cannot compensate for all the negative emotions you will experience working in a foreign land. It is not easy. You need to be strong. You need to set your mind on the line to be "The Last Man Standing…" You need to be an achiever against all odds. But most of all, I am appealing to set the minds of all Filipinos - who worked abroad or not- that we work abroad not because we tend to lose hope in our country, the Philippines, but because there is something else we need to learn. The extreme feeling of homesickness and helplessness experienced by all OFWs and others who live abroad is a given factor, where a big income is seen as worthless after all. Why? It's not only because we are far from our families and love ones, but because we are FILIPINOS and we loved the Philippines so much, which we almost forget now in our hearts. Be proud and be strong!