Chariz Solomon opens up about traumatic childhood

Trigger warning: This article mentions abuse and self-harm. Reader's discretion is strongly advised. 

Chariz Solomon has opened up about her traumatic childhood. 

In the latest episode of “I-Listen With Kara David,” the comedienne talked about the abuse she experienced when her parents separated and left them. 

According to Chariz, when her mother worked in Japan, she and her three siblings sent to live with different relatives.

“So ako, nasa kabilang street. 'Yung isa, pinakamalayo, na babae pa, sa Novaliches. Yung sa kabilang street, tito ko. Tapos yung kambal, nandun sa same compound, pero different house,” she said. 

“Tapos, ang nangyari, parang hiwalay din ako ng school sa mga kapatid ko. So ako lang yung naka-private. Ang bilin daw ng tatay ko, ako private school,” Chariz added.

Growing up without her parents didn't make her feel angry, Chariz said. She just remembers feeling sad.

“Ang natatandaan ko lang is malungkot ako. Tapos, sa school, lagi ko sini-share na wala akong parents. Tapos, napatawag pa yung guardians ko kasi, bakit daw ganun ako? Yung mga sinasabi ko daw. Medyo darkness. Malungkot lang ako,” she said.

In the same interview, Chariz revealed she suffered from sexual abuse from a relative when was in grade three.

“Hindi ko alam kung alam ng iba kong relatives," she said, adding "Hindi ko na rin sasabihin kung sino."

"Pero, nag-sorry naman sa akin noong 13 na yata ako. Alam mo yung parang feeling ko — totoo ba yung nangyari? May ganun coping mechanism 'yung tao pala na hindi mo alam kung nangyari yun. Tapos, dun ko na-realize [when I received an apology] ah, totoo siyang nangyari,” Chariz said. 

As a response to her trauma, Chariz admitted she tried to self-harm when she was 11 years old.

“'Di talaga ako proud, pero, nag-self-harm ako nung bata ako," she said, explaining it wasn't because she wanted to die but because she wanted to feel her pain physically.

“Hindi ko naman gusto mamatay, hindi talaga," she said. "Alam mo yung, hindi pwedeng may mangyari sa akin? 'Yung gano'n,” she tried describing her experience. 

“Noong paglaki ko, inisip ko, ba't ko yung ginawa? Naisip ko, kasi gusto ko lumabas siya as physical pain. Yung, yung nararamdaman ko inside. Hindi mo siya maisigaw, hindi ka man pwede manakit," she said of her realization.

She admitted going through an angry phase and becoming a bully, something that Chariz is not proud of.

“Naging angry ako, naging bully ako — hindi ako proud do'n. Naging, ano ka, 'yung defensive. Konting ano sa'yo ng kaklase mo, gulpihan na agad, yung gano'n.” 

According to Chariz, she is not proud of some of her actions as a child. Reflecting on those moments, she sometimes blamed herself, saying “baka kasalanan ko” and asking “ba't mo ginawa yun eh, alam mo namang masama?” 

Over time, she learned to forgive herself, and realized that she was just a child who had grown up in an unstable and challenging environment. — Jade Veronique Yap/LA, GMA Integrated News

The Philippines has several mental health hotlines and services. These include: DOH-NCMH Hotline: 0917-899-8727 and 02-7989-8727; Natasha Goulbourn Foundation Hopeline: 0917-558-4673, 0918-873-4673, and 02-8804-4673; and In Touch Crisis Line: 0917-800-1123, 0922-893-8944, and 02-8893-7603.