Jona Viray opens up on childhood trauma involving her late father

Trigger warning: This article contains mentions of sexual abuse. Reader's discretion is advised.

Jona Viray bravely opened up on a traumatic experience from her childhood that she kept secret for a long time.

On Toni Gonzaga's latest vlog, the singer revealed that she was sexually abused by her late father when she was 10 years old.

"Noong 10 years old [ako], naging biktima ako ng molestya from my father," Jona said.

According to Jona, the abuse started after their mother left their family due to the constant fights she had with her father at the time.

"Sa pagkakaalam ko, daytime nangyari 'yun, pinapasok ako sa kuwarto niya tapos doon na nagsimula 'yung mga horrific na nangyari. And that time, frozen lang ako kasi hindi ko talaga alam eh. Hindi ko alam kung sisigaw ba ako or kung tama ba 'to? Pero wala eh," she said.

"It happened more than once. Noong year lang na iyon nangyari, after that hindi na nasundan. Unconsciously, kakausapin mo 'yung sarili na wala ka nang kuwenta kasi nga naabuso ka na you are not pure anymore, wala ka nang value. Sobrang baba na ng self-esteem ko," she added.

Jona also said she hid her traumatic experience from her siblings, and that only her then manager knew about the abuse. 

 "Hindi ko sinabi sa kanila kasi 'di ko alam paano nila mare-receive. Until nakilala ko 'yung manager ko ngayon, si Ate Erlina, na parang siya 'yung tumayo na pangalawang kong nanay," she said. 

Jona said she and her father did not talk about what happened and they continued as if everything was normal.

"Even pagkatapos mangyari 'yung mga bagay na 'yun, all those years, growing up, magkasama pa rin kami ng Papa ko. Magkasama kami sa bahay," Jona said.

"Pagkatapos ng pangyayari na 'yun, as if walang nangyayari. OK pa rin kami. Father, daughter, sinusuportahan pa rin niya kami, nagtatabaho pa rin siya," she added.

Jona said she began to heal a few weeks before her father passed away. At that time, he was already battling an illness and Jona provided financial support for his hospitalization.

"Nag-text lang siya sa akin Ate na sinabi niya na, 'Anak, patawarin mo ako sa lahat ng mga nagawa kong pagkakamali. Mahal na mahal ko kayo,'" she said.

She explained that those simple words contributed greatly to her healing.

"'Yun lang, kahit simple words as that pero parang isa 'yun sa pinaka nag-contribute ng healing sa 'kin na minsan na feeling ko rin kahit hindi na siya mag-apologize pero handa pa rin akong patawarin siya sa lahat-lahat ng nangyari sa pamilya namin," she said.

"Naramandaman ko nun Ate mas na-relieve ako, parang 'yung tinik sa buong pagkatao ko parang nahugot," she added.

Jona also said her love for her father did not disappear and she was looking forward for him to get better so they could make more happy memories as a family. She even applied a passport for him, but he passed away before they could travel.

If you or someone you know has experienced sexual abuse or trauma, please know that you are not alone and help is available. If you need urgent help, you can contact the following:

• Barangay Violence Against Women (VAW) Desk
• Women's Desk of the Philippine National Police (PNP)
• Emergency hotline: 911

You may also contact the following hotlines for mental health support:

• DOH-NCMH Hotline: 0917-899-8727 and 02-7989-8727
• Natasha Goulbourn Foundation Hopeline: 0917-558-4673, 0918-873-4673, and 02-8804-4673
• In Touch Crisis Line: 0917-800-1123, 0922-893-8944, and 02-8893-7603.

—Jade Veronique Yap/GMA Integrated News