An American teacher’s love letter to OFWs

Magandang umaga, my Filipino friends.  I am Dr. David Harwell, the writer of an editorial written not so long ago called “Love Letter to Filipinos.”  Your responses to that letter were overwhelming, to the point that you even made me cry with your positive comments.  The result of that first letter was more than 600 thousand shares in 3 days and GMA featured the letter by interviewing me on 3 different shows.  I was overwhelmed by your comments and your love.

I have always wanted to write to you again, this time focusing specifically on OFW's and their lives, because I have learned even more about the situations of many OFW's and how they live their lives abroad.  This letter has two purposes:  To thank all of the hard working Filipinos abroad, and also to update you about my life since the letter, an update which includes a love story about me and an OFW who rescued me during a very difficult time in my life.

Long ago, before I ever went to the Philippines, one of my best friends' wives complimented Filipino nurses in the US.  My friend's wife, Luzc, is a managing nurse at a hospital in the US, and I told her at that time that I was planning my first trip abroad, which included spending time in the Philippines.  She told me that she dearly loves her OFW nursing staff, and I asked why.  She said that they are loving, dedicated, and, from her perspective as a manager, "they work hard and they don't complain."  She said that with deep admiration and wished me well for my travels.

That statement — that Filipinos work hard and don't complain — has stayed with me during all my years abroad, dating back to 2005.  I have met and befriended many of you, in countries that range from the Caribbean to Central America and onward to Southeast Asia and the Middle East.  I learned that OFW's, like all Filipinos, are some of the nicest and kindest people I have met in the world.  I have been in 25 countries now, I have always encountered OFW's and they have always represented the very best of Filipino culture.  They have listened to me, helped me, and taken care of me, always smiling and sincere in their desire to help make my life better in many ways.

To go a bit further on Luzc's statement, I have learned that you don't complain in your working environments, even though your lives are often very difficult and you have every reason to complain about the kind of treatment you often receive from those who employ you.  As one of our Filipino friends said about living as an OFW, when I asked him why he stays abroad even though he wants to go home, he said, "When it comes down to it, in the Philippines it's really all about family."  He supports his family with his earnings, even though he misses his homeland and his family.  He only goes home once every 1-2 years, and he misses them always.

I think that is the same story for all of you.  Though some OFW's become successful and even choose to stay abroad for most of their working lives, most of the Filipinos I have met and spoken with are just trying to get by, day to day and month to month, because they are doing their best to take good care of you.

Don't be mistaken when you see pictures of your family members on Facebook showing them in front of expensive stores, fancy malls, and nice restaurants.  I saw in my years in the Middle East that these were just poses in front of places they could never afford to buy from; and, in some cases, I have seen Filipinos in Dubai who were not allowed to even enter luxury stores.  Furthermore, when you receive Balikbayan boxes, please understand that I have seen your family members place items in those boxes for up to a full year, using whatever money they could use to slowly but surely fill up a box with gifts for you.  I know that I have also seen some OFW's come home for visits during which they spend a lot of money on a sort of "fiesta" at home, and they usually pay for these trips and all of the food, shopping, and treats for you with credit cards they have from overseas, and often even with 5/6 loans and loans from friends.  They always try to appear successful and give you a great time during their visits, but it often takes them a long time to recover financially from these trips. 

So: Do me a personal favor if you are emotionally moved by my writing:  Don't think of your Filipino family abroad as sources of unlimited income; instead, please try to understand that what they do for you is usually very hard, and no matter what photos they show you of their lives in the Middle East, Singapore, Hong Kong, and other expensive places, they live in bed space.  They are boarders in rooms filled with doubledeckers, rooms that I have seen with 12 or more people living in them, because they simply have no money to pay for their own private space.  So, my favor?  Thank them.  Love them.  Appreciate them always.  Just a few kind words, spoken regularly to them, make their sacrifices better for even a short while.

Finally, as I tell you the ending of my story, which is really part of a beginning for me, let me tell you that I went through a very bad time abroad, more than one time, because I got very sick and suffered also from severe depression because of it.  I had failed miserably as a husband and a father, I had gone abroad to try and escape my problems, and I was being treated and paid far better than your family members who were working with me.  My health though, declined to the point that I could no longer work and I was falling apart.  I was lost, alone, cut off from my family, without a home in the States. 

Then one of the luckiest things that ever happened to me came about when I met a wonderful Filipina during the deepest and darkest part of my life overseas.  She had her own problems to deal with at work, taking care of her children back home, having no money to return home even though she had not seen her son and daughter for more than two years, and she still kept a strong, positive, can-do attitude about everything she faced.  And for me?  Despite all of her problems, all of her worries, and all of the demands on her life, she came to me, loved me, picked me up, and took care of me as long as she could.  When she could see finally how badly in need I was of care, she even risked losing her love and she got me onto a plane to go home to doctors and hospitals in the US.  She knew she might never see me again, and I worried that might be the case also. 

My heart broke when I had to say goodbye to her and go home.  It was hard without her, but with good medical care I somehow, with divine help, made my way back to her.  I love her deeply.  She is the love and light of my life.  I am still not well sometimes, and she always watches over me.  She is my angel, and I am incredibly blessed, and she agreed to marry me.  My story has turned out to be better than I ever hoped for when I was sleeping on that floor in an empty apartment in the Middle East.  I love her, I appreciate her, and I always tell her thank you, for every little thing and every big thing she does for me.  So, my beloved Filipino friends, please do me that favor I asked of you:  Thank your OFW’s, often and always.  Tell them "maraming Salamat po."  Tell them "mahal na mahal kita."  They’ve earned it.