Pride Stories: Love wins for married lesbian couple Migz Hernandez and Mary Emberador
The traveling duo of Footloose Tomcat, Migz and Mary, are more than just travel buddies -- they are lawfully-wedded partners. In celebration of Pride Month, Migz Hernandez shared with GMANetwork.com their inspiring love story and the details of their dreamy wedding ceremony in the scenic country of New Zealand.
Migz and Mary after their wedding ceremony in New Zealand
Colleagues turned couple
Migz and Mary's love story blossomed in the workplace. Migz vividly recalled the first time she met Mary.
“We met in the office--the first handshake was electric for me, but Mary claims it was a blur. She's new and she had to meet everyone. I kept an eye on her for a few months.
“After having been in long, failed relationships, when we both knew and felt it in our gut, we went for it and officially became a couple three months after we met.”
And fortunately, they didn't seem to have problems with making their relationship public.
“I feel that my family loved her when they met her for the first time. We went to church together, had lunch, or watched movies on weekends.
“Our friends just knew from our social media posts, and I guess over time they just saw that we wanted to take the relationship to the next level and they all supported us.“
On experiencing exclusion
When asked whether they experience discrimination as a same-sex couple, Migz said she prefers to use the term “exclusion."
“We're lucky to live in a time when we have more people who understand and begin to accept us.
“But there are laws, customs, and traditions that exclude us as a couple.
“Like when she got hospitalized and I had to sign as a "friend" or guardian instead of partner.
“As much as we can, we choose to peacefully co-exist with people who think of us differently; but that's not to say we don't choose to fight back. But we assess our rights with wit and grace.”
The proposal
Taking it to the next level
Migz and Mary have been together for five years as a couple and were engaged for more than a year before getting married in 2019.
The proposal happened during one of their vacations in Australia, which was also in the same week as Mary's birthday.
“I didn't want to steal her special day from her, but I did it in the same week's vacation. I proposed in the colorful Brighton Beach in Melbourne.
“I set up my tripod as if we were going to do a short video describing our adventures on our website.
“But what she didn't know was that I had the ring in one pocket and my heart was racing like I'm having a heart attack.
“We were two travelers in a foreign country we've only been to twice, just the two of us.
“Declaring our love for each other as we heard the passersby cheer was a heart-melting moment.
“One that could have been around family; but I shied away from the theatrics and opinions and pressure and instead chose a moment we intimately shared.”
Migz and Mary with the celebrant and witnesses
Tying the knot in New Zealand
Since same-sex marriage is not yet allowed in the Philippines, Mary and Migz opted to get married in a foreign country.
“We got married in New Zealand for two reasons -- it was legal for non-residents, and we plan on someday migrating there.
“It's a country any landscape photographer dreams of. It is politically and economically stable, and we fell in love with it when we first went in 2018.”
When the lesbian couple posted photos of their intimate wedding ceremony, friends started hitting them up on social media not only to congratulate them but also to ask how they got hitched in New Zealand.
In their travel blog, Migz shared the requirements and process of getting married in New Zealand.
According to her post, New Zealand's marriage is legal for all, meaning you don't have to be a citizen or resident in order to wed in their country. Best of all, both heterosexual partners and same-sex couples are granted the right to get married.
There are two types of wedding ceremonies in New Zealand: personalized and registry. The minor difference lies in the location of the ceremony.
Personalized ceremonies such as Migz and Mary's, can be held in any location, as long as the celebrant -- officiator of the legal ceremony -- agrees with it. Meanwhile, registry ceremonies are exclusively done in the office on weekdays and during office hours.
The New Zealand government has an official list of celebrants for you to choose from, and they require two witnesses during wedding ceremonies, which don't necessarily have to be friends or relatives of yours.
When asked if Mary took Migz's last name, Migz shared that they elected to keep both their last names. After all, if Mary did decide to be a Hernandez, it will only be recognized in countries where same-sex marriage is allowed.
For more details on the process of getting married in New Zealand, check out their “Getting Married in New Zealand - Steps, Requirements, Essentials” blog entry in their website Footloose Tomcat.
Are same-sex marriages honored in the Philippines?
You might be wondering whether gay marriages officiated outside of the Philippines are honored in the country since it is still not legal here.
The answer is no. However, Migz revealed that there have been great strides when it comes to recognizing the union of same-sex couples.
“The marriage is only binding in countries and territories where same-sex marriage is legal, such as Australia and recently, Taiwan. So, coming back to the Philippines meant our civil status go back to single.
“We're lucky because there are some entities now that already recognize de facto marriages, whether heterosexual or not.
"Our HMO now allows us to declare our de facto partners, common-law spouses regardless of sexual orientation, as dependents.
“Our insurance policy also recognizes our marriage certificate; and we have rightfully made each other our beneficiaries.
“We also recently applied for a loan to acquire a property. We would be co-owners but then our civil status remained single.
“Much can be done in the years to come, but we appreciate the progress.”
On naysayers
As much as there are many LGBTQIA+ allies, there are also people who don't support the rights of same-sex couples such as Migz and Mary.
Migz gave her two cents regarding this issue.
“In the same way that we are entitled to our opinions; so are they too. We try to avoid confrontations and arguments especially on social media, but it doesn't mean we respect them less for not being open to gay marriage yet.
“I guess the misunderstanding lies in the fact that they think we want the church to recognize us when all we really want is just the same basic right everyone else enjoys -- the right to be the next of kin to our partners, to declare them as dependents, recognize us as spouse, and have the same protection as other married couples already enjoy. “
The legally-wedded partners pose for their post-nuptial photos
Message for LGBTQIA+ couples
In celebration of Pride Month, Migz has inspiring words for members of the LGBTQIA+ community.
“Choose your battles. There are debates, discussions we can't win especially when others resort to ad hominem and name-calling. And then, there are those that we can.
“Let's continue to build a network of brilliant lesbians, of gays who contribute positively to the community; queers and bisexuals who influence others to take actions and support causes they believe in.
“Sometimes, fighting to be respected is not always the only way to win; being dignified, responsible, and loving people, regardless of your color, sexual preference, or religion, is still the key.”
Love wins for Migz and Mary
Let love win
Migz and Mary's love story is definitely #RelationshipGoals and #WeddingInspiration, especially for same-sex couples who are tirelessly fighting to enjoy the same rights as heterosexual couples.
They are proof that although same-sex relationships are met with criticisms, at the end of the day, love will find a way and love will always win.
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