How living funerals can help loved ones cope with grief, according to psychiatrist

Before he passed, Ate Gay held a living funeral, or celebration of life, where friends and loved ones shared their heartfelt messages for him.

In Tuesday's episode of "Unang Hirit," psychiatrist Dr. Joan Mae Perez Rifareal of the Philippine Psychiatric Association explained how living funerals can help both the person nearing the end of their life and the loved ones they will leave behind.

"In a way, it can help because it allows friends and loved ones to express unspoken words that are sometimes only said when someone is already gone," she said in mixed English and Filipino.

According to Rifareal, such gatherings can also provide an opportunity for reconciliation among family members and friends who may have unresolved misunderstandings.

The psychiatrist added that living funerals can help people process anticipatory grief, or the emotional distress experienced when expecting someone’s death.

"It helps people process anticipatory grief because they can gradually work through their emotions even before their loved one passes away," she said.

"It can help both the loved ones who will be left behind and the person who is nearing the end of their life," she added.

When asked about concerns that holding a living funeral might somehow hasten a person's death, Rifareal emphasized the importance of focusing on the benefits of such gatherings.

She said living funerals allow families to create new memories, celebrate meaningful relationships, and honor their loved ones while they are still alive.

"We can create new memories, continue to honor them, laugh together, and give the person who is nearing the end of their life a greater sense of control," she said.

"They get to hear those words and feel validated. They feel the appreciation, love, and support of the people around them, which can make them happy," she added.

Ate Gay passed away on November 1 after suffering a stroke. He was also diagnosed with Stage 4 cancer.

Ate Gay fought a hard battle against cancer. In 2025, an anonymous donor helped cover the cost of his radiation therapy at Asian Hospital, while a fan lent him a nearby condo unit for convenience.

In November 2025, Ate Gay said he'd already "graduated" from radiation and chemotherapy.

Earlier this month, he held a "living funeral" with his family and close friends. —Hermes Joy Tunac/JCB, GMA News