A singleton as president

It was at a Duty-Free shop at Kaitak airport a couple of years ago where I first noticed an unfamiliar bottle of single malt whisky labeled as The Singleton. It was a lovely bottle, too, standing tall with a full liter's contents, flat on the backside but with its front curving gracefully outward. Its shape brought to mind the short, wooden palo-palo or paddle that old women in the provinces use when doing their laundry by a stream. They'd whip larger pieces of clothing directly against large smooth rocks, then lay these down, together with the smaller items, piece by piece, on flat surfaces of smaller rocks, and beat on every square inch of the wet fibers with the flat sides of their paddles. I imagined using the Singleton vessel as a similar paddle, maybe for softer surfaces, like the butts of naughty drinking partners once we "killed" or finished up such a bottle... But wait. First I had to check out its provenance and character, and of course its price.

The Singleton of Glen Ord — its full title — turned out to be of modest cost, perhaps because it was being introduced in the market, I thought. Priding myself in my knowledge of single malts — of which I happen to be a certified aficionado — I also noted that it was classified as a Highland malt, meaning it's distilled in the upper, northern reaches of Scotland, in this case at Glen Ord distillery found on the edge of the Black Isle west of Inverness. Highland malts are generally light-colored and light in taste, smooth, rounded and well-balanced, often with a fragrant bouquet suggesting fruits more than, say, the strong peaty aroma and smoky flavor of Island malts. Later I learned that The Singleton of Glen Ord was launched only in selected Asian markets in 2006, bottled in a traditional 19th-century-style blue glass flask with modern labeling that includes a salmon emblem. "Plenty of flavour and a fragrant finish," reads a note of praise from Michael Jackson, not the late singer-dancer but the late renowned whisky expert. Indeed, serendipity is always of novel, whimsical origin. I have since picked up The Singleton a few times when traveling abroad, or been gifted the same by friends who make the mistake of texting me to say they're coming in from Hong Kong. I now have a collection of The Singleton bottles, enough to start a laundering service if I happened to live by a brook in the company of willing, ready and able women old and young. I recall this particular "singleton" whenever we're reminded that our President-elect will be the very first bachelor to be sworn into office. Actually, Manolo Quezon has clarified that President Elpidio Quirino had served in Malacañang as a bachelor, since he took his oath as a widower. But a "bachelor" is defined in the dictionary as "a man who is not and has never been married." Example of usage has it: "He is a confirmed bachelor / one of the country's most eligible bachelors." Now that can only apply to President Noynoy Aquino — in more ways than one. He is our first bachelor and/or singleton president. Maybe this shouldn't be stressed beyond this article, as critics already sharpening their knives even before he sits may claim to be hard of hearing and misquote it as "simpleton president." In mathematics, singleton may refer to "a set with exactly one element." In the game of bridge, it is "a card that is the only one of its suit in a hand." "Card," mind you, not "cad." When referring to global governance, it means "a single decision-maker at the highest level of the world order." Hmmm. Thus may we note variable possible common denominators for P-Noy and being a singleton. Now, as for being called a bachelor, that term can also mean "a person who holds an undergraduate degree from a university or college..." As in "He graduated with a bachelor's degree in Economics." Why, check. Historically, a bachelor is "a young knight serving under another's banner" — as in "knight bachelor." The word comes from the French bas chevalier, literally "low knight" or a knight of a low order. Now, that certainly doesn't apply to our 15th president, who may be said to be to the manner of the hacendero born. Come to think of it, however, didn't the father Ninoy marry (very well indeed) at such a young age? Is the son now intent on establishing an extremely disparate identity, so that he will marry only in his 50s? We should end all amateur psychologizing right there. We can only hope, if quite strongly, that P-Noy does bid goodbye to bachelorhood while at his prime and peak, and thus gift the nation another first: a wedding in Malacañang for its chief resident. And a fine young lady, 20 years his junior, the historic present of becoming the first First Lady to ever enter the palace by the river as a bride. For her sake, and ours, too, I earnestly wish that this momentous occasion would transpire earlier than mid-term for the president-benedict. The year 2012 would seem ideal for this prospect, as by then matters of state may have stabilized as to allow the Chief Executive grooming time for another milestone. He'll also give the lie to the doomsday scenarios for that year. Wish it could be earlier, but it may be too much to jump from a honeymoon of a hundred days with the Philippine press to one that signals the start of connubial bliss for a lifetime. But should he marry while holding the highest office? Of course! We're all for it. Bachelorhood can be de-confirmed any time, after all, and eligibility end even for determined singletons. Oh, the country entire would be so enamored and gleeful at the great peal of wedding bells. And puns galore will rain like rice grains before the bouquet is tossed, from "Noynoy: Siya nawa!" to "Shalani: Siya na nga!" But before all that, there's the prospect of gate-crashing the stag party with a bottle of The Singleton, and toast to the man who would be husband and king. Well, maybe until he's asked one day to do his own laundry. - GMANews.TV