Humanity fights back in 'Underworld: Awakening'

Ah, ze children ov ze night, what sweet music they make. Bad news: in “Underworld Awakening”, they’re all singing funeral orations.

 

In this reverse post-apocalypse scenario the vampires and the lycans have been discovered, the masquerade on their secret war peeled away. Humans have developed weapons to deal with the inter-species menace like the UV gun and silver nitrate bomb. Suddenly, the hunters have the tables turned on them.

 

Much plot potential there, but sadly “UW:Awakening” fails to capitalize on the goldmine.

 

The svelte and awesomely comely Kate Beckinsale dons her leather and boots ensemble anew for the role of the vampire Death Dealer Selene. And, really, if you ask any fan of the franchise, Beckinsale (who’s the better half of UW creator Len Wiseman) in skintight latex is two thirds of the reason why they watch this White Wolf Games rip-off. The remainder is likely for the HK wirework action, because the writing hasn’t exactly been stellar on this series.

 

Beckinsale admits that she was reluctant to play Selene for a third time, “But it was a life-changing role for me, so I feel very affectionate towards it. It’s exciting to be able to follow a character over such a long period of time. It’s rare to get that chance.”

 

Fifteen years have passed in the UW timeline when Selene and Michael Corvin (her blue-skinned human-Lycan hybrid lover) granted unto the vamp elder Marcus eternal rest. We’re treated to a montage of that history with Selene’s voice over.  

 

Humanity’s all-out war has all but eradicated both species and, as a direct corollary, Selene (being a legendary vamp) has been captured by a powerful biotech corporation called Antigen. She’s been experimented on and dissected in search for a “cure” to the plague. Meanwhile, the remaining lycans have become diluted in blood. The few survivors are weak, stunted, and became mange-infected shadows of their ancestors.

 

Selene wakes to find herself inside a sealed laboratory coffin labelled as Subject Two. Much combat ensues with an apt blood bath as Selene escapes into the night. She discovers quite a few things after she encounters the young vamp David (Theo James), who gets her acquainted with the new world order: her beau, Michael, is dead; her race has taken to hiding in ancient underground safe houses; the scientists over at Antigen did some very dastardly things to her womb while she was in a cryogenic freezer and literally grew a daughter.

 

The young girl’s name is Eve (India Eisley) and she turns the same shade of blue as her hybrid father when she transforms. Talk about a twist on the immaculate conception.

 

Eve is a chance for Selene’s character to actually develop emotionally, grow and become maternal but all mother-daughter bonding moments are interrupted by blood-baying werewolves and rapacious human authorities. In fact, protecting Eve from her enemies is ground down to the max as motive for all the grandiose fang and claw, rifles and bombs action that permeates this movie.

 

If you like a slaughter fest then there’s plenty of that, with balletic gun-fu and nasty, up close wet work thrown in the mix. Especially tasty scenes involve Selene battling the Uber-Lycan, a genetically enhanced werewolf that’s a juggernaut of fur, with strength that’d give The Hulk pause. Aside from all that this wolf’s also, drum roll please, immune to silver.

 

“This is an all new creature,” explained the producers in the international release notes. “The Uber-Lycan is massive. It stands twelve feet tall and weighs 1,200 pounds. It has a bigger torso and longer arms and slightly shorter hind legs, more like a gorilla than the previous Lycans. . .and it’s not especially fond of Selene.”

 

Aside from the carnage, there’s very little development of the premise, especially for the fourth movie in a franchise like “Underworld” that seems hell bent on milking the traditional vamp and werewolf theme to the last drop.

 

For one thing, Selene wears the same old Death Dealer outfit. Don’t get me wrong, I love the darn latex hugging Ms. Beckinsale’s figure, but man, after 12 years without getting laundered (unless the scientists were actually thoughtful enough to bring it to the cleaners), those leathers must stink to high heaven!

 

A horror writer—I forget which—once commented that vampirism as immortality is the definition of a petrified existence. Selene must be the epitome of this as, aside from falling in love with a hybrid, she hasn’t changed one bit. At some point, even her daughter comments on her coldness. While you shouldn’t look for impressive revelations in a genre action flick, “UW: Awakening” was certainly trying to be ambitious.

 

Here’s how it failed to sink its teeth into the viewer.

 

Spoiler alert!

What really gets my goat is how much the writing and direction simply fail to exploit such a rich premise. There’s also some holes in the plot that’s big enough for an Uber-Lycan to crawl through.

 

Take note: Antigen is owned and populated by lycans. This means the capture of Selene and Michael (who’s later revealed to be alive), the subsequent birth of Eve, and the development of the silver-immune Uber-Lycan was all a conspiracy for species survival.

 

There’s quite a few sticking points to consider with this twist:

 

While werewolves and vampires were getting racially cleansed left and right for 12 years, how the hell did the lycans of Antigen avoid detection as a government-sponsored company? Meanwhile vamp elders, who may have known a thing or two about misdirection, are left to cower in basements. Maybe I missed it but there were no answers provided in the dialogue.

 

If it’s such a huge conspiracy then am betting the lycans would have orchestrated the time and effort to bury their work from casual research. But no, all it takes to see into the whitewash is some cursory digging by a beat detective (abetted by Selene) to blow the whole thing wide open.

 

How did the humans on the Antigen staff (the woman doctor was very clearly non-vamp and non-wolf) not notice all the fur on their co-workers?

 

I have my suspicions. Mainly how the Swedish directors, Måns Mårlind and Björn Stein said they directed in tandem on alternate days (say what?) on set and how they “... flip a coin the day before the shoot” to see who’s going to direct tomorrow. Guys, I don’t think coin flips and taking turns is getting results. —KG, GMA News

 

“Underworld Awakening” opened January 20 at all major theaters.