Solo moms, write your own fairy tale and be 'happy even after'

"So where's her father?" This question is one of many that I get asked, too many times to count, by people curious about me and my daughter.

 

What's funny is sometimes, the people who ask are complete strangers, yet they somehow feel that they're entitled to know personal details about our life. After years of this, I've learned that it's just the way it is.

 

Nosy questions are just one of the many things single parents need to deal with, especially single moms. Of course, most of us have our families and friends to go to for support. That is, if we have any time to hang around talking.

 

One of the givens for solo moms is that you automatically assume multiple roles, even more than the average mother. So it isn't surprising that it can get pretty lonely. One of those sleepless nights, you're bound to burst into tears like Bridget Jones—except your problem is not only are you no longer slim, svelte and stunning—you've got a baby but your charming

prince has disappeared, and the closest thing you have to fairy dust is the dirt on your shelves that you just don't have the energy to wipe off.

 

That may be an exaggeration, but simply put, it's tough. Publisher-author Ana P. Santos knows this, and instead of just shrugging and saying, oh well, that's just how it is, the savvy solo mom decided to do something.

 

That something was creating “Happy Even After: A Solo Mom's Journal” which is filled with inspirational stories and spunky quotes from other Pinay solo moms.

 

"We hope for this journal to be a solo mom's ally, her cheerleader when she can't take it anymore, her trusted friend who will give her a dose of tough love when she needs it and even her stand-in co-parent—anything and everything she needs and wants it to be," says Santos in a press release.

 

In the journal, there are the Ten Commandments of Solo Motherhood, beginning with "Thou shalt never feel sorry for thyself." At first, I wondered if the inspirational stories might be cheesy. But the first one, written by Santos, assured me that these were real people with stories to tell, and not just some romanticized self-help sort of book.

 

Santos shares her experience as a single mother, without being preachy or too sentimental. Among the contributing writers are women's rights activist Risa Hontiveros, supermodel Marina Benipayo, beauty queen Patty Betita and TV host Angel Jacob. Some stories seem more personal than others, but all of them have a sort of consoling effect. Of course, it's unlikely that any single parent will think they're the only one, but it's nice to hear from others who have had similar experiences.

 

Apart from stories, the Happy Even After journal includes helpful information, like a section on the Solo Parent Act, as well as practical tips for helping the kids cope from clinical psychologist and sexuality expert Dr. Margie Holmes.

 

There's also a Mommy-Baby time chart and checklist by solo mom Ching Jorge, and of course, blank pages for the readers to write their own Happy Even After story.

 

There are a lot of journals out there—journals for coffee drinkers, milk tea addicts, students, fashionistas, earth lovers—the list goes on. There are also journals for moms, but this is the first one specifically for solo moms. Beyond the journal itself, it has attracted an online following. Solo moms interact on its Facebook page, sharing articles, stories, and pictures

in what has become a small virtual support group.

 

With this 6x8, 96-page hardbound gem of a book, it seems Santos has successfully shown solo moms that you don't need "happily ever after" when you can be Happy Even After. –KG, GMA News

 

The journal is available for P450 at the following shops: Fully Booked, Powerbooks (soon), Filipinas Heritage Library, Mt. Cloud in Baguio, and Momtrepreneur at Shangri La Plaza.