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Sex, texts, gifts and passionate kisses: Pinoys and Pinays’ ideas of romance
Roses are red, violets are blue.. poetry is hard, can't I just text you?
Your idea of what is and is not romantic largely depends on whether you are male or female, and married or single, a new study finds.
According to the recent Nielsen study on "the state of romance in the Philippines," when asked the question "Why is romance important?" the top answer among women is that it "makes me feel loved," while for men it is important because "she will know I love her."
The study was conducted in Metro Manila among all socioeconomic classes, with four categories of 100 respondents each:
Your idea of what is and is not romantic largely depends on whether you are male or female, and married or single, a new study finds.
According to the recent Nielsen study on "the state of romance in the Philippines," when asked the question "Why is romance important?" the top answer among women is that it "makes me feel loved," while for men it is important because "she will know I love her."
The study was conducted in Metro Manila among all socioeconomic classes, with four categories of 100 respondents each:
- Females aged 18 to 25, unmarried but in a heterosexual relationship for already 6 months at least
- Males aged 18 to 25, unmarried but in a heterosexual relationship for already 6 months at least
- Females aged 26 and above, married for more than 5 years
- Males aged 26 and above, married for more than 5 years
"What is romance?" the survey asked 400 respondents. Here are their answers.
Differing responses
According to the study, the most romantic gesture for a single woman is when the man holds her hand. For married women, it's when he kisses her passionately.
On the other hand, for men—both married and unmarried—the passionate kiss is the clincher.
In all four groups, the most common expression of romance is through gifts, such as flowers or surprises. For married respondents, the next two common expressions of romance are the same: commitment and spending time together.
Single men also rated physical touch (including sex) in their top three expressions of romance.
And according to the survey, only single men tend to get what they want—gifts. Single women want commitment but get gifts, while both married men and women want emotional acts (like showing sweetness) but instead also get gifts.
Another telling difference: what female acts bring out the romantic side of males? Single men and single women say it's when the woman hugs the man unexpectedly.
Married men and married women say that it's when she cooks him his favorite meal.
How romantic are Pinoys?
Asked to rate themselves romance-wise on a scale of 1 to 10, nearly a third or 32 percent of single men gave themselves a 10. Only 18 percent rated themselves 7 or below.
On the other hand, only 15 percent of single women gave single Pinoy men a 10. More single women rated single Pinoy men an 8 (32 percent) and even a 5 (19 percent) on the romance scale.
Married men fared much better, with 34 percent of married women rating them a 10.
Perhaps as a result of this, married people also gave higher scores when it came to rating their level of satisfaction with the amount of romance in their lives: 47 percent of both married women and married men rated their satisfaction level at 10, as opposed to 33 percent for both single men and single women.
One of the biggest hindrances to men performing a romantic gesture more often? The fear that their friends would make fun of them, or that it would make them look uncool.
Love in the modern world
Text messaging has also become an integral part of courtship for many young Filipinos, the report found: 55 percent of coupled but unmarried women got to know their partners through texting, compared to the 44 percent of married women who met and got to know their husbands at work.
The report also presented a sharp drop in handwritten letters: only two percent of modern young men use pen and paper to communicate their feelings to their sweethearts, while only six percent of married men wrote to their wives.
Meanwhile other top answers for modern courtship for young men included calling their intendeds via cellphone—higher than introducing them to their parents and siblings, and introducing them to friends.
Similarly, younger women reported that their suitors called them on the phone while they were being courted. Young women also said they were given chocolates and were treated to meals, as well as introduced to siblings.
In contrast, older, married women and men were first introduced to parents and other important family members when they were being courted. Courtship then was also ripe with flowers as gifts, and the traditional movie dates.
Whoever the object of your affection is, this study might validate your methods of showing love—or it might convince you to make a few changes in your plans for Friday. Happy Valentine's Day! — Patricia Denise Chiu/BM, GMA News
According to the study, the most romantic gesture for a single woman is when the man holds her hand. For married women, it's when he kisses her passionately.
On the other hand, for men—both married and unmarried—the passionate kiss is the clincher.
In all four groups, the most common expression of romance is through gifts, such as flowers or surprises. For married respondents, the next two common expressions of romance are the same: commitment and spending time together.
Single men also rated physical touch (including sex) in their top three expressions of romance.
And according to the survey, only single men tend to get what they want—gifts. Single women want commitment but get gifts, while both married men and women want emotional acts (like showing sweetness) but instead also get gifts.
Another telling difference: what female acts bring out the romantic side of males? Single men and single women say it's when the woman hugs the man unexpectedly.
Married men and married women say that it's when she cooks him his favorite meal.
How romantic are Pinoys?
Asked to rate themselves romance-wise on a scale of 1 to 10, nearly a third or 32 percent of single men gave themselves a 10. Only 18 percent rated themselves 7 or below.
On the other hand, only 15 percent of single women gave single Pinoy men a 10. More single women rated single Pinoy men an 8 (32 percent) and even a 5 (19 percent) on the romance scale.
Married men fared much better, with 34 percent of married women rating them a 10.
Perhaps as a result of this, married people also gave higher scores when it came to rating their level of satisfaction with the amount of romance in their lives: 47 percent of both married women and married men rated their satisfaction level at 10, as opposed to 33 percent for both single men and single women.
One of the biggest hindrances to men performing a romantic gesture more often? The fear that their friends would make fun of them, or that it would make them look uncool.
Love in the modern world
Text messaging has also become an integral part of courtship for many young Filipinos, the report found: 55 percent of coupled but unmarried women got to know their partners through texting, compared to the 44 percent of married women who met and got to know their husbands at work.
The report also presented a sharp drop in handwritten letters: only two percent of modern young men use pen and paper to communicate their feelings to their sweethearts, while only six percent of married men wrote to their wives.
Meanwhile other top answers for modern courtship for young men included calling their intendeds via cellphone—higher than introducing them to their parents and siblings, and introducing them to friends.
Similarly, younger women reported that their suitors called them on the phone while they were being courted. Young women also said they were given chocolates and were treated to meals, as well as introduced to siblings.
In contrast, older, married women and men were first introduced to parents and other important family members when they were being courted. Courtship then was also ripe with flowers as gifts, and the traditional movie dates.
Whoever the object of your affection is, this study might validate your methods of showing love—or it might convince you to make a few changes in your plans for Friday. Happy Valentine's Day! — Patricia Denise Chiu/BM, GMA News
