‘Professional mothers’ honor lifetime commitments at SOS Children’s Villages

Part of a series on women this month. March is Women’s Role in History Month in the Philippines.


45-year-old Nanay Margie has raised 23 children in her lifetime—yet she has never experienced giving birth nor has she ever been married.

She is one of hundreds of Mothers and Aunts who are currently devoted to SOS Children’s Villages’ extraordinary mission of providing “a loving home for every child.”
 

A huge international endeavor that operates across 133 countries, SOS Children’s Villages has been following a unique approach to family life and child advocacy since the establishment of its first village in Austria in 1949.

Currently, SOS Philippines has two programs: Family-Based Care, in which orphaned, abandoned and neglected children are welcomed into the village and are brought into the care of an SOS Mother, and the Family Strengthening Program which extends assistance to underprivileged families in surrounding communities to enrich their livelihood skills and sense of togetherness.

The ultimate goal of either program, and of SOS itself, is to provide children with a loving, holistic environment to grow up in.

The SOS Family

In the Philippines alone there are over 60 households with eight to 10 children per house under Family-Based Care. The children are typically referred by the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD), congregations of charity, and other similar organizations.

These children must have complete names and documents and must fall under any of three categories (i.e., orphaned, abandoned, or neglected) for them to be admitted into an SOS village.

"Mahigpit talaga yung gatekeeping ng SOS, kasi we don't want to tolerate Filipino people na mag-anak lang nang mag-anak, at pagkakaanak, dadalhin sa organization,” said Village Director of SOS Lipa, Batangas, Johnald Lasin.  
    
The SOS Mothers must also undergo a thorough hiring process. Before they can become a Mother, they go through a minimum of two years as a village Aunt, followed by six months of initial Mother’s training.

“Yung qualities, hindi namin masasabi agad sa interview o sa exams. Makikita yun pag nanay na talaga siya…we hire for attitude, and we train for skills," said Lasin, who as Village Director also serves as the father figure to all the children in his village.

More than just a job, becoming an SOS Mother is a lifetime commitment for most. Women between 25-35 years of age can apply to become an SOS Mother. However, they must be single and must not have children of their own to avoid a conflict of interest.

Mga Dakilang Hero

“Not all women will choose to work with our children,” pointed out Lasin, who refers to the SOS mothers as “mga dakilang hero.”

“Ikaw, magtratrabaho ka dito? Mag-aalaga kang eight to 10 children, iba-ibang ugali, iba-ibang attitude, iba-ibang apilido. Not all are brave enough to be with our children," he added.

Indeed, becoming an SOS Mother is one full-time job that not everyone can handle, and not one that most people would sign up for. With their selfless service to the Filipino child, the professional mothers at SOS are the perfect example of what it truly means to be a loving parent.

A full-time job
 

"Ang mga nanay namin dito ay Professional Mothers. 24 hours…lahat ng dapat ginagawa ng isang nanay sa isang anak, yun yung ginagawa nila...magpa-dede at manganak nang natural, 'yun lang yung hindi nila nagagawa sa mga bata," said Lasin.

Margie Fajilan was 25 years old and fresh out of college when she applied to become an SOS mother. The first batch of children she raised included a set of four neglected siblings. The youngest of those siblings, Blenor, was a year old at the time.

She recalled how difficult it was to take care of a baby and how raising teenagers was also one of the biggest challenges she had to face. At one point, she wanted to resign from SOS, but she made the selfless decision to stay for the children.

"Nahirapan din ako…noong ako'y yung gusto kong magkaroon ng pamilya...tinitimbang ko kung ang mga bata ba o ang sarili ko,” she said of the internal conflict she had to resolve at the time.

"Ano kayang mararamdaman ko pag iniwan ko ang mga bata? Parang ako'y masasaktan din... Masasaktan ako, masasaktan ang mga bata," she added.

When asked how she has managed to raise so many children under such circumstances, she took a pause and said, “siguro yung love…pag ako'y napapagod, pag ako'y may problema... sa kanya ko nararamdaman yung tanggal ng pagod."

The first son she raised from babyhood, Blenor, is now 21 years old and is working as a SPED teacher for pre-elementary levels. His 29-year-old sister Beberlyn is back in the Philippines from her job as a factory worker in Taiwan. The siblings, together with their two other brothers, entered SOS in 1994 and were raised by Nanay Margie since then.

"Sabi nga nila, ang mother ng SOS, madaming inaattend na training...madaming inaattend na workshops...so bago sila humarap sa bata, they are already trained, they are already professional…bihasa na sila…hindi namin nararamdaman na ang mga magulang dito o mga mommy dito ay iba," explained Blenor.

“Ang turing naming kapatid, tunay na magkakapatid. Tapos si Mommy, tunay naming nanay," added Beberlyn.

Extending help to surrounding communities
 

Like Nanay Margie, Agnes Lanto is also mother to many children, but all of which are biologically her own. She lives with her husband of 30 years Julian in Baranggay Banay-Banay, Lipa, where their romance first blossomed during the Flores de Mayo back in 1983.

She and her husband Julian have 15 children, with ages ranging from seven to 30. Among them, one has already married. Seven are in elementary school, two are graduating high school, and three are in college, with one studying under a scholarship funded by the Yuchengco Foundation.

Their family was one of several chosen by SOS’ Family Strengthening Program, which in the words of Lasin, is there "para hindi na maghiwalay yung nanay at tatay na magkaroon pa muli ng dagdag na orphaned, abandoned, and neglected na children sa community."

Nanay Agnes told her story with immense gratitude, saying that if it were not for SOS, she may not have learned to work on her own and see all her children through school.

"Palibhasa nawala na ako sa programa, yung aking ngayong third year college na psychology ang kinukuha...tuluyan din ang pag-aaral dahil nagkaroon nga ako ng trabaho. Parang ako na yung natulong sa mga anak ko. Kaya nagpapasalamat nga ako dahil kung wala man ako sa programa, nabigyan naman ako ng trabaho."  
    
Lasin reiterated that the service they provide is not the giving of dole-outs. “Hindi namin sila binibigyan ng fish...net yung binibigay namin."

Growing beyond SOS

"Bakit ba ako pinagkalooban ng napakamaraming anak dahil ang iba naman ay dasal nang dasal na magkaanak, hindi naman nagkakaroon? Sa bagay ikaloob naman din ng Ddiyos ano? 'Di naman niya ibibigay sa akin siguro kung di ko kakayanin," mused Nanay Agnes, who never planned to have so many children.

She has no regrets, although she would not advise anyone to follow in her footsteps.

"Wag nila akong gagayahin dahil marami akong anak," she said, saying that life has been hard for her. “Sabagay ay kaligayahan ko naman yung mga anak ko...” she added, chuckling as she pointed out that every day is like an occasion for her, with the number of places that have to be set for meals.

"Kahit na mahirap yung buhay…‘wag mapanghihinaan ng loob at tsaka…sa Diyos ka palaging mananalig. Tiwala lang sa asawa't sarili," she advises fellow mothers.      

“Hangga't kaya kong magtrabaho ay magtratrabaho ako, dahil sa mga anak ko," she said, adding that her true ambition is to in turn help other mothers who are struggling like she was before.

"Siguro naman ay bago ako mawala sa mundo'y may natulungan din akong ibang tao kagaya kong tinulungan din nila." — VC, GMA News


SOS Children’s Villages operates across the Philippines in Bataan, Calbayog, Cebu, Davao, Ilo-Ilo, Lipa, Tacloban and Muntinlupa. If you’d like to help out or learn more, please visit their website.