When I called my Mom ‘ma’am’

Part of a series on our moms—or about being a mom—for Mother's Day


Being a teacher's son has its benefits, especially when you're studying in the same school where your mother's teaching.

It may not be written in the school handbook, but you surely have more privileges than other students. You can eat in the canteen table usually reserved for teachers while your schoolmates wrestle for seats at the other tables. You are highly regarded by everyone, both teachers and students, especially if you're an honor student. And no one can bully you in school, because they know your Mom's just around to come to the rescue if they dared to. In other words, you're untouchable.

That is, until your Mom becomes your own schoolteacher.

Back in my old high school in Dumaguete, I pretty much enjoyed the perks of being a teacher's son from sophomore to junior years. But things took a turn and reversed when I stepped into fourth year, when I was under my own Mom in Araling Panlipunan class. I tell you, it isn't pretty much of a delightful experience contrary to what most people were thinking at the time. It's awkward—seriously awkward.

On the eve of the first day of school, my Mom gave me a stern reminder: "Sa bahay, ina mo ako, anak kita. Pero ibahin natin sa classroom. Teacher mo 'ko, estudyante kita." As a teenager then, that was rather daunting task.

Ma'am Vida Cabristante was the total opposite of the Mama she was at home. As a teacher, she was strict, and always made sure we followed the rules, especially about time. When we came in too late for her class because our previous teacher dismissed us way behind schedule, she'd give us a 15-minute stern talk about time management and dismissed us, seemingly without remorse. She was very strict about the mother-son-teacher-student demarcation line, too. Why? Because she once gave my classmates who requested me to ask something about her subject at home another stern talk. The lesson? Never ask a teacher's son as a bridge, a middle man, or a spy. And yes, I also had a hard time in her class just like my classmates. I never asked for her help about her lessons at home, because that would definitely be crossing the line.

As a student, I was so scared to recite in her class, in fear of embarrassment for not studying your own mother's subject. And the worst fear ever about having your Mom as your own teacher? Her recording your failing scores in her quizzes and exams.

But no matter how awkward, or terrifying, or scary my experience was, being under my own Mom in her class also had its advantages. Yes, she was the one who taught me the basics of life at home, but Mom as "Ma'am Cabristante" also taught me some important lessons about education and career, and I surely wouldn't have learned it better any other way.

First, being professional and rational matters. There are just some things you need to think over without your emotions or blood relations getting in the way. My mom's demarcation line taught me that there are also other demarcation lines we should set between our superiors and ourselves. Yes, we can be friends with our mentors and bosses, but when at work or in school, business is business. And Mom taught me this the best way she could—by letting me experience it.

Second, it's better to achieve by value of merit. Contrary to what my classmates thought back then, me being under my Mom didn't guarantee me special treatment. She treated me like other students, and she graded us based on how we performed—nothing more, nothing less. Just because I was her son didn't mean I got bonuses in my grades. As a vying honor student then, it pained me to see a grade below 85 once in the middle of the school year—and it came from my Mom. In earning achievements, working for them by your own efforts matters more than having personal connections to make it easier to get them.

It's been a few days after Mother's Day, but I believe it's never too late to pay tribute to the woman who shaped and defined who I am, both at home and at school. Belated Happy Mom's Day, Ma. Thank you for teaching me some very important life lessons that I wouldn't have learned better in any way other than coming from you.

Thank you, too, Ma, for giving me a 92 as my final grade in Araling Panlipunan. I worked hard for that.