Don't be that guy: Acts that make neutral spaces unsafe for women

Canadian author Margaret Atwood has put on paper innumerable sentences filled with wit, but she hit it right in the head with the quote below:

Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them.

The fear a woman feels when she's walking down the street alone is unique — so much so that people who have never felt it invalidate it. What's so frightening about a man shouting "Good morning, ganda"?

Each minute that the debate about the politics of personal space and boundaries continue, more and more people add another uncomfortable experience to a pile that's already distressing.

Senate Bill No. 1326 or the Safe Streets and Public Spaces Act of 2017 seeks to address the problem by clearly identifying behavior that qualifies as harassment and penalizing it.

Here some of the acts that turn you into that guy who ruins someone's day. Don't be that guy. You're not going to "get the girl" this way. You will, in fact, achieve the opposite of what you set out to do.

Nag-iinarte lang? The realities of being harassed

In March 2017, Alyssa Fernandez got on a bus and sat next to an elderly man. Alyssa was wearing a long sleeve button-down polo and cropped pants. Settling into her seat, she put her earphones on and closed her eyes.

Shortly after, the man sitting next to her cupped her left breast.

Alyssa fought back and all she got was a glib apology from the man plus an unsolicited judgment from the conductor who dismissed the altercation as "hysterics."

She didn't mince words and relayed this message to gropers: "To the men who can't keep their hands to themselves, fuck you. We're not yours to touch."

More: Woman literally strikes back at man who sexually harassed her in a bus.

Later on, in June 2017, a lesbian couple were harassed and assaulted in a bar in Makati.

A man had asked half of the pair, Ymi Castel of the band Flying Ipis, for a selfie. When Ymi obliged, the man hovered around the table and kept pestering the couple. When Ymi flung tissue at him, he punched her — twice. He also punched Ymi's partner, filmmaker Cha Roque.

Alyssa tried to purse a case against the man who harassed her. Ymi and Cha tried to purse a case against the man who assaulted them.

More: Lesbian couple Ymi and Cha, on getting punched for standing up for their rights.

In an interview with GMA News Online Wednesday, Cha said that pushing through with the case proved to be more than bothersome.

"It was very expensive for us to go back and forth to Makati. And we found out that his maximum penalty is only maximum of P200," Cha shared via Facebook chat.

"Injustice na 'yong pinasa ng city hospital sa private hospital 'yong medico legal kaya hindi namin matubos, and what more 'yong injustice pagdating sa P200 penalty no'ng perpetrator ," Ymi added. "Hindi lang naman ['yong perpetrator] 'yong may atraso dito, pati na rin Makati government e. Tumatagos pati sa ganitong kaso 'yong pagkacorrupt ng sistema."

These incidents are not isolated nor are they rare. Almost all women have a story of harassment to share.

"Aside from the alarming number of women and LGBTs getting harassed in public spaces every single day, what it is more concerning are the emotional, psychological, and economic effects that the victims face in this situation," Juanna Caumaran of advocacy group Grrrl Gang told GMA News Online.

"The victims always have the burden of making adjustments whenever they encounter such incidents such as making sure to wear appropriate clothing, changing routes when commuting, et cetera." 

The victims fear for their safety, Caumaran added, which deters them from calling out inappropriate behavior or pressing charges against their harassers.

"The Safe Spaces Bill will help facilitate a change in culture towards a more respectful manner of how society treats women and the LGBT sector. It is about time to change what we consider as normal and end this culture of harassment," Caumaran said. — illustrations by Josel Nicolas / LA, GMA News