Candy Pangilinan shares her journey as mom to neurodivergent child

Candy Pangilinan opened up on her experience as a mom to a neurodivergent child.

In an episode of "Share Ko Lang," the comedian said the diagnosis for her 17-year-old son, Quentin, wasn't definite at the beginning.

The family first approached a doctor about his condition when he was just nine months old, when they observed he didn't have eye coordination.

However, Candy said that they had to go "doctor-hopping" to get the best diagnosis for Quentin.

"I just wanted to know what it really is... I wanted to be definite. What really is it? But as they said, with a child who is definite... there is no definite. You can't say this is what he is, this is who he is," she said in Filipino.

"I said, 'Doc, what is Quentin's diagnosis really?' Around two years ago before the pandemic. The doctor said, 'He still has ADHD. Autism is there but it's not that strong but his ADHD is stronger but the autism is there."

At first, Candy revealed she had a hard time grappling with this reality.

"It didn't sink in me that, 'Ay, this is forever.' I thought it was just going to be for a year. After a year, it'd be okay," the comedian said.

"It only sunk in when we attended therapy and I saw other children, with everything the doctor said, that's when it sunk in me. Even the things the therapist said, everything. That's when I realized, 'Okay. Go. Game. Game. Time is of the essence.'"

Raising Quentin

Throughout the 17 years of raising Quentin, Candy said that she has learned how to be firm with him.

"He'd throw a tantrum, and I wouldn't react. I'd let him. I'd just make sure that he wouldn't hurt himself. I remember that. Because they have a tendency to vomit, that they can make themselves that forceful vomit," she said.

"That's where I learned, 'Ah, okay. I learned this in therapy. Okay. Let's do hand over hand.' I'd get a rug, hand over hand, I'd make him clean."

It became a rule in the house, Candy said, that when Quentin throws a tantrum, people shouldn't react. When he asks for water, he has to tap them, a sign language they've been teaching him.

"So I let Quentin cry. Even then, that has been my attitude because I feel like this is beyond my control. I cannot do anything about it. So the only thing that I can do is pray about it, right? The only thing I can do is pray about it and ask the help of the experts. That's all I can do. And support and just be there," she said.

Candy said that 17 years ago she would bring her own portable DVD player because she could hear her son cry all the time.

"Whatever they do in therapy, that's what I do at home. Consistency is key so I'd repeat it at home so he knows that the rules there are also rules in the house," she said.

"So Quentin and I have a relationship that aside from me being his mom, I'm also his playmate, he knows when I'm his teacher. The two of us have something like that."

—Kaela Malig/MGP, GMA News