Take the road less traveled at Offbeat Cafe

A slice of bacon, an all-beef patty, melted cheese, and a fried egg. Sounds like a serious breakfast sandwich. But wait. Instead of bread, put all that in between a glazed doughnut. Now it sounds like a heart attack. If your New Year's resolution is to eat healthily, steer clear of Offbeat Cafe. On the other hand, sometimes it's okay to indulge a bit. As doctors like to say of vices, "May gamot naman." Perhaps this is what adventurous diners tell themselves before they place an order at Offbeat Cafe. The doughnut burger has been getting oohs and aaahs (and a lot of ughs, too) since it was first served in the cafe's old location along Vito Cruz extension. Fitting right in its new home at The Collective, Offbeat Cafe offers an interesting experience with its collection of donated art and deliciously unappetizing books. For instance, Max Brooks' "World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War" proved to be a very satisfying read while we waited for our food, which was served quickly, despite there being just one waiter around.

Sometimes, Offbeat Cafe holds screenings. The film choices are consistent with the cafe's personality - strangely enjoyable, like last Thursday's screening of "Funky Forest: The First Contact" by Japanese filmmakers Katsuhito Ishii, Hajime Ishimine, and Shunichiro Miki. The cafe also holds a special place for artists and music makers, with a good part of the wall reserved for donated artwork in exchange for one free flavored beer. Offbeat Cafe also offers itself as a venue for local artists to sell their albums. Even with the great selection of books and interesting art on the wall, the food is still the main event in this cafe. While fans of the 540 calorie KFC Double Down jump at the idea of a bacon cheeseburger in a doughnut, others wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole. Since I belong to the latter category, I had to force my companions to try it. One of us gladly ate the burger in less than twenty minutes, chewing with eyes closed and blissfully licking his lips after. My other companion was less enthusiastic, but obliged. She sliced a piece neatly, and after swallowing, explained that it wasn't so bad. "You know how when you eat pancakes and bacon and the maple syrup gets on the bacon? It's like that," she said. While the Offbeat burger is the cafe's most famous item, the chalkboard menu is filled with other things you should stay away from. In other words, it's what most people love to eat. The other items have intimidating names like Chilicheeselogs (130 pesos), Old McDonald's shepherd pie (150 pesos), Chili Willie Dog (170 pesos) and Uncle Joe's sloppy balls (160 pesos). Hesitant diners are persuaded by the largely discounted introductory prices, which the waiter explained would last for three more orders. The discounted dishes included Babes-in-a-blanket (190 pesos), "succulent Hungarian Sausages kept company by crispy bacon, wrapped in puff pastry," "Creamy potato croquettes with 3 fillings: smoked fish, chorizo and ham," Bacon Fries, "Smokey bacon fried to golden crispy perfection." While the appetizers did look quite appetizing, we were won over by the 150 peso discount, and got the Pata Pop for 200 pesos, thinking it would be worth it. Little did we know that it would have been worth it even at the regular price. We should have guessed that since the description was "Crispy Pata the Offbeat way," this meant it would be challenging to consume. In fact, we literally needed back up, which came in the form of my cousin who lived nearby. Freshly woken up, he was persuaded by the prospect of food, but he had no idea how much food. When the Pata Pop arrived, it was so intimidating it looked like it might actually eat you. An hour later the bone was still staring up at us from the plate, with enough tender meat on it to eat with an extra cup of rice. By this time, we should have learned our lesson. The Offbeat way is all the way, and it goes without saying that their food is good for sharing. Unfortunately for us, we had also ordered Chilicheeselogs, which turned out to be the heaviest cheese sticks ever.We ended up having half of the Offbeat burger wrapped to go, and couldn't bring ourselves to even consider having dessert. If you decide to check it out and by some miracle have space for dessert, there's the Monster Banana Split (275 pesos), "your average banana split, after it's been exposed to nuclear radiation. Running Japanese civilians, not included." This kind of food description is typical of Offbeat Cafe, which not only serves unhealthy food but does it with pride. "Decadent would be understating it," reads their description of their Chocolate Bread Pudding ala mode (150 pesos). It's the kind of food that should come with a warning. Then again, nothing is kept secret. The kitchen is right inside the cafe, and if you sit at the bar, you can watch the chef prepare your food while you gulp down a glass or two of your candy-colored fruit-flavored beer, which you can have as much as you want for 250 pesos. Of course, given this sort of menu, you can be sure you'll feel like you have to confess after, but as Offbeat Cafe would probably say, you only live once. - GMANews.TV Offbeat Cafe is open on Tuesdays to Thursdays from 11:30 am - 12:00 am, and on Fridays and Saturdays from 11:00 am - 2:00 am at The Collective, 7274 Malugay Street, Makati City.