AiAi Delas Alas on the pain of heartbreak: 'Sometimes it arrives late, delayed, like a wave that suddenly hits you out of nowhere'
AiAi Delas Alas may be separated from her ex-husband Gerald Sibayan for a year now, but the commedienne is still dealing with the pain of heartbreak.
On Instagram, AiAi said "the pain of heartbreak doesn’t come all at once. Sometimes it arrives late—delayed, like a wave that suddenly hits you out of nowhere."
She admits that while there are days when she feels fine and "genuinely happy," there are days when "sadness quietly slips in." She admits that there are days when she finds herself "developing little crushes—I'm only human—but I try not to entertain them."
According to AiAi, she's finally come to understand what her adoptive mom means when she says "I don't like the feeling of love."
"She was too busy giving us a future—putting all her energy into raising me, my siblings, even our nieces and nephews. And she would always say, 'I don't like the feeling of love'," AiAi recalled.
In her post, AiAi said "I’ve been feeling something inside that I can't fully explain" before going on to say that it's called "post-traumatic growth fatigue."
"You are trying to move on and do the right thing maybe even to prove to yourself or others that your OK, but sometimes after trauma, there's pressure to celebrate growth before we have fully healed, AiAi said.
"When that celebration falls flat it can leave you feeling worse. Napaka-weird na pakiramdam," she added.
A 2018 study defined post-traumatic growth "as a positive psychological changes experienced as a result of the struggle wit trauma or highly challenging situations."
It may feature "positive changes in self-perception, interpersonal relationships and philosophy of life, leading to increased self-awareness and self-confidence, a more open attitudes towards others, a greater appreciation of life and discovering of new possibilities."
However, post-traumatic growth fatigue is not a known psychological term.
Earlier this month, AiAi marked her separation from her husband and called it her "freedom anniversary."
They were together for 10 years before separating in October 2024.
In a 2024 interview on "Fast Talk with Boy Abunda," AiAi said among Gerald's reasons for their separation was his desire to have children. The actress, who is already 60 years old, can no longer naturally conceive a baby.
The actress tearfully said that she and Gerald tried to conceive a child via in vitro fertilization (IVF), but they lost two of their three embryos.
AiAi also revealed that Gerald cheated on her in 2019, which gave her trust issues.
In December 2024, AiAi said they were not on speaking terms.