Maegan Aguilar opens up about recovery, says life has changed after rehab

Maegan Aguilar opened up about her recovery after getting discharged from rehab in April.

In her guest appearance on "Fast Talk With Boy Abunda" on Friday, the singer shared she has been rebuilding her life since completing rehabilitation earlier this year. So hasn't even thought about using illegal drugs again since leaving the facility she said.

“I haven't thought of using it again ever since that time. Even if hindi ko nagagawa yung weekly reporting ko because I'm supposed to be in rehab. Kasi nga, my life is on a move already,” Maegan said.

“Like with my children, how we spend time together, and then how I spend time with my mom and everything,” the daughter of the late Freddie Aguilar added.

According to Maegan, her family has recently allowed her to live on her own again, which she described as one of the biggest milestones in her recovery journey.

She spent two years in rehabilitation, but Maegan now says the experience feels shorter in hindsight.

"When I was inside, of course, it felt forever. But as soon as I got out and started to live my life one day at a time, it brought me now here," she said.

Looking back, Maegan admitted she initially viewed drug use as a vice rather than an escape from life's problems.

"There was really no reason for it. It's just a vice. I'm allergic to alcohol, I'm allergic to nicotine, and I wanted to have a vice so I did drugs because I wasn't allergic to that,” Maegan explained, adding she used her personal problems to justify her drug abuse.

“Justification only. It’s just a vice. A bad habit. And then you just make excuses for it sometimes. And sometimes, you just want to use because parang [naging bahagi ng sistema].”

In rehab, Maegan learned that addiction is "a relapsing chronic disease," something she only fully understood while undergoing treatment.

Maegan also recalled asking help at Senator Raffy Tulfo’s program when she tested positive for drug addiction, but it was ultimately her best friend, Kuh Ledesma, who helped her undergo rehab for the first time.

“I heard from Mark — he's from the company of Kuh Ledesma. And that was like, I couldn't believe that it was Kuh, Kasi, we became best friends like 20-something years back eh when I first became born-again Christian,” she recalled.

“So, she remembered that friendship and decided like, okay, I'll help her out. You know, no one's there,” Maegan added.

She admitted she had no idea how badly drugs affected her life on her first rehabilitation program.

“Hindi ko pa noon nare-realize — wala pa akong realization about my life na it's destroyed. Ang talagang pakay ko lang doon is magpahinga. Paglabas, tira ulit. Ganon. Pero hindi ko pa alam yun. Hindi ko pa alam na yun yung mindset ko,” she said.

Shortly after she leaving rehab, she reunited with a partner who was also using substances and relapsed.

“Nagsimula ulit. Hindi niya, alam mo sa totoo, hindi niya kasalanan eh. It's not his fault. Pero pareho kaming gano'n ang ginagawa,” Maegan said.

Her condition worsened to the point that she fell into homelessness for about a week.

“I was just outside the subdivision of Tatay [Freddie Aguilar], where I live. I was just outside. In the outside area, making a fool out of myself,” she said.

“Nakatulog ako sa tricycle. Mga ganun. Ang lala.”

It affected her friendship with Kuh.

“She was sad. Sabi niya, you already know what happened to you living that life. Why do you have to repeat ganyan?” she said.

According to Maegan, recovery can only succeed if a person genuinely wants to change. and is genuinely committed to recovery.

“Kung isa sa amin ay gustong lumayo na sa droga or gusto nang mag-recover, pero yung isa, hindi pa. It's not gonna work. Kasi siyempre, ano din ako eh. Addict nga din ako eh,” Maegan said.

“I have addiction. So, it might not be now or next month or ano, but eventually, it can make me use again,” she added.

“In the end, it only works if you work it. Kailangan gustuhin mo eh sa loob. It has to be you eh. Kahit ano pang... Kahit the best rehab pa yan in the whole world, or the best advisor. Kung ayaw mo, it's not gonna work,” Maegan said. — LA, GMA News