Pinay and traveling solo

It is a rare kind of freedom that allows you to tour a theme park alone with nothing but your bag occupying the seat next to you, to try an exotic foreign dish without anyone to witness the expression on your face as you process the new taste or to shamelessly chat up the stranger next to you on the street outside a famous landmark.

There are some people who couldn’t even imagine doing these things without someone else to share the experience, but that is something that traveling alone will teach you—that you can do things you never imagined you could.

If there’s anything I, an introvert by nature, have learned from being alone in a foreign country, it’s that you need to step outside your bubble in order to truly enjoy everything that a new place has to offer. Yes, you may get lost and have to ask many questions, and spend more money because there will be no one to split the costs with you. Sometimes you will feel lonely but you will also meet many strangers who will eventually become friends or at least fond acquaintances.

New place, new you

Jica Lapeña in Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia after a day at the beach in Jesselton Point. The one who took the picture was "a man [who] ]watched over his two daughters playing in this graffitied empty lot," she said.

Twenty-seven-year-old writer Julia Escaño of wanderingjulia.com took her first solo trip when she was 25.

“I've always kind of enjoyed solitude and the idea of traveling alone seemed exciting; the idea of not having to adjust to anyone or follow anyone else's rules, that everything was defined by me and I can change my mind whenever I wanted, those were the main draws of traveling solo,” said Escaño, writing from a small island in British Columbia, Canada called Saltspring.

Escaño’s first solo trip—to Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia—was where she met her current boyfriend. Her second trip—to Bali, Indonesia—is where she got her SCUBA license.
“Both were very eventful and exciting, and always had that tinge of danger and adventure, which I absolutely love!” she said.

Aivi Cruz, a 24-year-old who says she is “not spontaneous or street-smart,” shared that her trip to Japan as part of her “Before 25” bucket list taught her to “ditch the online world and live in the moment.”

“I am such a planner, I planned my trip by the hour, but as we all know, not all things go according to plan so embrace change and learn to adjust,” she said. “When I reminisce about my recent trip, I realize that I immensely enjoyed the little deviations from my itinerary… I used up my allowable extrovert quota for the trip… I wouldn't have done some of those things if I were in the Philippines.”

Dealing with loneliness

Aivi Cruz takes a selfie onboard the Narita express from the airport on her way to Tokyo.

When asked what the biggest challenge is about traveling alone, Cruz joked that it was having to take pictures of herself—indeed, that is a dilemma any solo traveler can relate to—but ultimately, it was not having anyone to share her experiences with.

“It was a bit sad keeping my overwhelming excitement to myself, not having someone to discuss my many thoughts about Japan's culture and architecture with, and fangirling in the Wizarding World of… [Harry Potter] without my equally invested sisters. I ended up tweeting more than usual because I needed to let it all out. Talking in public might look weird so sometimes I sing too just so I could use my voice,” she laughed.

Aileen Lainez, at 43 a seasoned world traveler, a teacher to young kids, and a mother of two, shared that she, too, does not prefer to travel alone because of the loneliness.

“I'm a very friendly traveler and honestly, solo traveling is not a preference (I usually travel with friends or people I meet), but I've had my fill of solo travels just to try it. That's the reason for it—just to try it! Usually, what was initially planned as solo turned out to be a fun-filled vacation with people I meet,” she said.

The supposed dangers

“When I first told my family I wanted to travel alone, they were not very open to it actually… my other relatives—the titos/titas/lolos of Manila—went berserk when they found out I was in Japan alone,” said Cruz.

However, Cruz did not feel she was treated differently on her trip because she was a woman or a Filipino, saying that her “East Asian features” which might have made her “blend right in.”

But perhaps it really depends on where you go.

“There are still places out there that are not necessarily women-friendly. For example, there are places in India and the Philippines where I had myself groped. That was the grossest… experience I've ever had when traveling, but not enough to make the travel less exciting,” said Lainez.

For Escaño, it was “more so the Filipino part rather than the woman part.”

“As a Filipino I think it's harder to make friends just ‘cause the most common type of travellers abroad are Caucasians, and they tend to dismiss Asians. Not out of racism or anything but they just assume you somehow don't speak English so they don't get chatty with you. As a woman… there's always a little shadow of fear for your safety, but I think that happens everywhere, sadly,” she said.

Tips for women traveling alone

Aileen Lainez poses with the Taj Mahal in the background.

Lainez, who has been all around the world from Luang Prabang to Montreal, offered some advice for women traveling alone:

1. Be careful. Protect yourself. Bring mace and whistle (and Swiss knife if you can) with you all the time.

2. Travel light. This is hard because there are always many trinkets and souvenirs you see along the way you want to buy. You wouldn't want to carry them around with you. Plus in places like India, the mail system is so complicated when sending parcels. It will discourage you from mailing anything.

3. Be friendly, but also cautious. Be open to making friends as this will make your travel way more fun. But also be wary about the people you meet. Always trust your gut feel. If you read red flags, avoid interacting with them further and move on. There are more opportunities to meet good people and there are more out there than bad ones.

Important life lessons

The challenges you will encounter traveling alone are just part of the beauty of the experience. For Cruz, the best way to approach your trip is to “walk the streets, talk to the locals… [and] interact with fellow travelers.”

“You could do so much by being alone. You don't have to worry or compromise so make the most out of it and be an explorer,” she said.

For Escaño, it’s about trusting “that the universe will look out for you in the end.”

“It teaches you to be more self-reliant. It teaches you to be braver, not only in terms of adventure and activities, but also in terms of putting yourself out there more. Most importantly I think it teaches you that there's nothing to fear out there in the big bad world,” she said.

The lone Filipina traveler is a brave creature who opens up a world of possibilities when she takes that first solo step. She will get mixed reactions from her friends and family, who will either cheer on her appetite for adventure or discourage her because of the supposed dangers. Either way, that trip she takes by herself is ultimately for herself and no one else. — BM, GMA News