An OFW journey: My humble life to tell (2)

(Continuation) June 20, 2010 (7pm, Sunday) - The day I left Philippines to find myself a new place in another country. This is not my first time to leave the country. But still, the emotion is different. But I really tried to hide it; I tried not to show it to my Mom. I wanted to be strong. I wanted to cry out that time. I don’t want to leave but I have to. It’s not running away, but finding the way, finding yourself, finding the meaning of life. People can say that I am mighty and strong, brilliant and brave, but they don’t know that I am weak inside, weak as a newly born child. No one has ever bothered to ask me “Why." Why do I keep on leaving Zamboanga?

Perhaps no one has ever seen me suffering. Every day I am hoping that I could find a job – a nice job. A job that would make my parents proud. That is why I keep on leaving Zamboanga and I thought Manila is the right place. Every time I leave my family, I wear a mask of happiness, so no one can see my face crying. June 20, 2010 (Airplane) - Have you ever thought about how hard it is to live alone? Have you ever thought that life in Manila is not that easy? Right now I am leaving again and this time for another country! I am wondering how it's going to be. Can I make it? I am really afraid. June 21, 2010 - After long hours of flight, Alhamdullillah. I am here now in Saudi, I arrived safe and happy. Kingdom of Saudi Arabia – home to hundreds of thousand’s OFWs. I can say or I must say that I am lucky to be here. Not every Filipino is given the chance to work here, and not every OFW is given the chance to have a nice job here. But for me, I have both – a good life and a fine job. Saudi for me is a very nice place, maybe because I am a Muslim. Changing environment is not easy, the changes in lifestyle and everything, you have to deal with them. But for me, everything is normal. Maybe because I have already gone to other countries before, particularly in Malaysia and Thailand. But I wasn’t there for work but for a short tour only. But this is different, I am here to work, not to have a good day or a vacation. I have a lot of relatives here, almost all of my cousins are here. My batchmate in college and in high school, and one of my best buddies Khalid. I am really lucky because we live in the same city, so during weekends I can always have a sleepover at his flat. By the way, weekends here in Saudi are during Thursdays and Fridays. July 2010 - I am happily working in Riyadh. Discovering new things, learning the lifestyle of Arabs. It’s really exciting to learn their traditions. For me, to study other cultures and beliefs is one of the greatest gift you could give to yourself. Trust me, knowledge is wealth. August 2010 - Bad news about my wife. She signed the divorce paper, we are officially separated and divorced. That is Shari’ah Law, we have divorce. Ouch! I feel pain in my heart again. Well, I have to be strong; after all, there's always a rainbow after the rain. September 2010 - Early September, Alhamdullillah, it was Ramadan. A friend of mine asked me to go with them to Mecca to perform Umrah. Right timing, because I want to have peace of mind and a happy heart. Surely, God Allah doesn’t want to see me suffering. In the middle of my darkness, I saw light. As a Muslim, I have always dreamed of visiting the holiest place for Muslims. September 18, 2010 - After Ramadan, I was transferred to another unit also in Riyadh. A new workplace again, new environment, new department, new life, new star, new breed. October 2010 - I am still happily working here. I get up every day with a smile on my face, with excitement in my heart. November 2010 - Yes! Alhamdullillah! I was given a chance to perform Hajj, one of the five pillars of Islam. This is my second time to visit Mecca and the most unforgettable moment was when I visited the tomb of the Prophet Mohammed in Medina. It was so touching and so memorable, I can really feel the holiness of the place. December 2010 - The happiness inside is overwhelming, the blessings are everywhere. I have to congratulate myself for being strong. So I bought a laptop as a gift for myself. After all I’ve gone through, I think I have to please myself. And so you see, my friend, after all I’ve been through, life is still fair to me. It’s just a matter of knowing what you want and having the courage to do it. There is no such thing as an easy task and at the same time it always seems impossible until it’s done. Everyday is a challenge; do not let yourself be stuck up on dreaming only. Put those dreams into reality; if you have the opportunity, grab it. If you don’t, find a way. Always do the right thing even if it hurts you. Life is always fair to you, so be fair to it. I'll be forever be thankful to Allah for giving me the strength to survive. Surely 2010 was not easy for me, but still I am here…happy with my life, on my own. I am hoping that 2011 would be much better than my past. Thanks and hope you’ve learned something. “Life can only be understood backwards, but it must be lived forward." -- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button - GMA News R.N. Diwallay An OFW journey: My humble life to tell (1) Ano ang kwento mo? Mga Kapuso, tuloy ang kwentuhan. Sana’y hindi kayo magsawa sa pagtangkilik sa ating pitak na ito. Habang may mga kababayan tayo sa abroad - pati ang kanilang mga kabiyak, anak, ina, ama o sinuman na kabahagi ng kanilang buhay - na nais magpaabot ng kanilang saloobin, mananatili po ang inyong Kwentong Kapuso. Katulad ng dati, hindi kami magsasawa na basahin ang inyong mga kwento - maigsi man o mahaba. Kahit na ang laman nito ay naglalabas ng sama ng loob, nagbibigay ng inspirasyon, gustong magpayo, magsumbong, magpatawa o kahit nagpapalipas lang ng oras. Kaya hihintayin namin ang inyong mga email na maaari ninyo itong ipadala sa Pinoyabroad@gmanews.tv Sa inyo mga kababayan namin saan mang dako sa mundo, kami po'y saludo sa inyo. Kaya ilabas ang iyong saloobin, ikuwento mo Kapuso!