Marital woes inspire Antique woman to persevere in Dubai for her kids

DUBAI, United Arab Emirates – A homemaker — who 15 years ago tried her luck in the city and worked as a house help after her husband left her — is now a happy single mom with children living successful career lives.
 
“Sa ilang taon kong paghihirap, naabot ko na ang mga pangarap ko para sa mga anak ko. Hindi madali ang mapalayo sa mga anak, lalo na’t walang magulang na nag-aasikaso. Kung maysakit sila, wala silang matawag na mag-aalaga sa kanila. Sila-sila lang ang nagdadamayan. At higit sa lahat, laking pasalamat ko sa Panginoon na kahit nasa malayo ako, hindi napariwara ang mga anak ko. Hindi sila nasangkot sa anumang bisyo. Hindi sila naging laman ng kalye,” said 53-year-old Rose Bella Pille Combong of Sibalom, Antique.

(Following many years of struggle, I was able to achieve my dream for my children. It’s not easy to be away from your kids, especially when nobody’s there to look after them. There was no one they could call when they were sick. They were on their own. And most of all, I am thankful to God that none of my children got into trouble, got involved in any vice, or became a vagrant.)

Combong’s eldest is a computer engineer in New Zealand; the second, a criminology graduate; and the third, an information technology professional. The fourth has a Master’s in Business Administration; while the fifth grew up to be a registered nurse. The youngest is in nursing school.

Married at 17

Combong, the eldest among six siblings, herself was pursuing a degree in secondary education but had to quit because she got married when she was 17 and was soon having children.

“Wala akong trabaho noon. Sa bahay lang ako, hanggang sa dumating ang malaking pagsubok sa aming mag-asawa na siyang naging dahilan ng hindi namin pagkaka-intindihan at laging pag-aaway. Ilang taon akong nag-attempt na lumayas at makipag-hiwalay sa kanya pero dahil sa mga anak ko, bumabalik pa rin ako. Tiniis ko na lang at inantay na lumaki ang mga anak ko,” Combong said.

(I was jobless at the time and was just staying at home till something happened that put our marriage to a test. This resulted in misunderstandings and frequent quarrels. For years, I kept attempting to leave him, but I’d always end up coming back for my children’s sake. I endured everything and waited till my kids have grown up.)

Domestic violence

Combong said her husband always beat her. “Maraming beses po, kahit sa harap ng mga anak ko,” she said. 

(Many times, even in front of my children.)

At one point, she said she reported the matter to authorities, resulting in the issuance, by the Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) as well as their local barangay officials, of a protection order for her.

“Umabot kami sa barangay at sa DSWD, kaya na-isyuhan ako ng protection order,” Combong said.

(The matter reached our barangay and the DSWD, that was why I was issued a protection order.)

Combong was around 37 years old when her husband allegedly abandoned them.  At the time, only two of her kids were old enough at 20 and 19 years of age; the rest were a 14-year-old, a 12-year-old, 10-year-old and four-year-old, according to her.

Combong said she knows where her husband is, but they don’t talk anymore. 

“Alam ko kung nasaan siya, pero wala na kaming komunikasyon. Iisang province lang kami at sa kabilang bayan lang din siya nakatira,” she said. 

(I know where he is staying, but we don’t have communication anymore. We are in the same province and he is living in a town next to us.)

Dubai

In 2008, approximately a year after her husband left, Combong asked her brother working in Dubai as a security guard to take her. “Hindi ganun kadali ko na-convince ang kapatid ko kasi alam niya na wala akong alam na trabaho,” she said. 

(It was not easy to convince my brother because he knew I didn’t know any work.)

Combong arrived on a visit visa in 2009, wasting no time to look for a job the following day after she stepped out of the airport.

Her first order of the day though, was to learn how to operate a vacuum cleaner, dishwasher and other electronic appliances, apparently because she has never come anywhere near them all her life. 

“Sa tinitirahan ng kapatid ko, marami sa mga boardmates niya ang nag-offer sa akin para turuan gumamit ng vacuum cleaner, dishwasher at iba pa,” she said. 

(A lot of my brother’s boardmates offered to teach me how to use the vacuum cleaner, dish washer and other appliances.)

House help

Combong was soon working as house help for a Dutch couple, where she stayed for two years until they left for good, leaving her to another couple. She would be working at other expat households for the next years as her employers, all British nationals, finally had to return home for good and referred or transferred her to new employers. 

In all, Combong worked at three different expat households in a span of 13 years, excluding the fourth where she is currently employed.

Combong said she learned how to use the electronic appliances quick. 
“Hindi ako nahiyang magsabi noon sa mga employers ko na hindi ako marunong. I would always tell them, ‘I don’t know how to use it, but I am willing to learn.’ Yun ang importante,” said Combong. 

(I never felt embarrassed telling my employers I didn’t know how to operate those things. But I also told them I was willing to learn. That’s what’s important.)

There have been instances in the past where an HSW’s inability to operate electronic appliances became an issue with employers, resulting to the former allegedly being mistreated through verbal abuse or running away to seek refuge at the Department of Migrant Workers Office of the Philippine Consulate General (DMWO-PCG).

Gawad Kasambahay

Combong was the first HSW to be bestowed the Gawad Kasambahay Award, which held its inaugural edition in 2019. 

The annual event honors HSWs in UAE and is organized by leaders and entrepreneurs in the Filipino community. Organizers recently opened nominations for this year’s edition. 

Michelle Guinto, Gawad Kasambahay founder, said they have received more than 100 nominations in just two weeks after the much anticipate event was launched. The nominations will close on Sept. 15.

The Gawad Kasambahay is supported by the Philippine Consulate General, as well as the Philippine Business Council – Dubai and Abu Dhabi, a non-government and UAE-registered body.

Combong’s children are: Mary Rose Anne Combong, Mark Anthony Combong, Toni Rose C. Suarez, Annie Rose Combong, Antonette Rose Combong and Angel Rose Combong. —KBK, GMA Integrated News