Married Catholic priest says: 'Wala akong nilabag sa utos ng Diyos'

Priesthood entails sacrificing something nature seems to have anointed man to do: to marry and have children. Canon Law, the universal law of the Catholic Church, requires the following among priests: clerical celibacy, or staying unmarried; and continence, or abstinence from sexual intercourse.

 

But what happens when a priest decides to leave the church to get married?

 

The documentary “Father na si Father” on the GMA News TV program “Front Row” tells the stories of two men who have stood on both ends of the spectrum – as Catholic priests with vows of celibacy and as married men with wives and children.

 

‘To be a priest is to be somebody’

 

Crispin Cadiang was a priest in Bacolor, Pampanga. He was born and raised in the vicinity of a church where his father served as sacristan. He said the attraction to priesthood came early on.

 

“Ano man ang nakikita ko, ano man ang napapanood ko, ano ang nadidinig ko, darating ang araw ako ang magsasalita, ako ang magpapadinig, ako ang papanoorin,” he said. “It’s the environment kaya ako na-inspire pumasok sa seminaryo.”

 

He entered the seminary at a young age. After college, only four out of 35 seminarians from his batch were left. In 1987, he was ordained in the very same church where he was baptized.

 

Cadiang said priesthood came with a huge amount of responsibility.

 

“To be a priest is to be somebody. Mataas ang paningin ng mga tao sayo,” he said. “Nandiyan ang responsibilidad. Nandiyan ang obligasyon mo. Nandiyan ang mga taong nakatingala sayo. So ang feeling mo masaya ka.”

 

“At the same time pilit mong tinatanong sa sarili mo, matatapatan ko kaya ang expectations ng mga tao?” he added.

 

He met his wife in church, where she was a reader. Their friendship eventually grew into a relationship.

 

“Alam mo nandiyan na sa puso mo ang damdamin pero hindi mo pwede ipahayag nang buong-buo kasi bawal. You really have to keep it to yourself but that’s really painful," Cadiang said.

 

‘Ang pagpapari ay isang malaking kwento ng pag-ibig’

 

Like Cadiang, Vicente Abadesco served the Diocese of Bacolod for 11 years. He was raised in a family of priests and nuns, and out of three siblings who entered the seminary, he was the only one who went on to become a priest.

 

For Abadesco, priesthood is all about love. “Ang pagpapari ay isang malaking kwento ng pag-ibig. Pag-ibig sa Diyos, pag-ibig sa katauhan ng Diyos, pag-ibig sa sambayanan. Pero merong disiplina sa simbahan,” he said

 

Abadesco was ordained in 1975. He married in 1984 and left his parish in 1985.  

'Once a priest, always a priest' According to Bishop Oscar Cruz of the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines, marriage violates the codes of Canon Law.

 

However, a priest may submit a petition to the Vatican to remove continence and celibacy in a process called dispensation. Only the Pope can give dispensation to a priest.

 

Cadiang has already submitted his petition and is waiting for his dispensation papers. He now has two children with his wife. He composes Kampampangan songs and teaches in the church were he used to preach. He said it is through his music that he gets to express his priesthood.

 

Abadesco is still actively involved in his ministry. He does not consider himself an ex-priest or a former priest. Instead, he prefers to call himself a married priest.

 

“Ang tinanggal lang sa amin ay yung faculty to administer the sacraments,” he said. “At saka alam namin inalisan namin hindi ang priesthood. Ang inalisan namin ang hierarchy, to live in the convent, to own a church.”

 

Bishop Cruz confirms this. “Once a priest, always a priest. Kung ‘yon ay tinanggap niya nang taos sa puso, ‘yon ay dadalhin niya sa kamatayan,” Cruz said. “Kapag inalis sayo ang clerical state, pari ka, hindi mabubura yung pagkapari mo. Pero yung clerical state mo, you lost it," he added.

 

Abadesco said he remains true to his religion. He sums it up for others in his position:

 

“Wala akong nilabag sa utos ng Diyos. Hindi naman sinabi ng Diyos na huwag kang mag-asawa,” Abadesco said. “I hope God, as a loving God, will judge us, not people who have biases... We are honest, we have only one wife, and we take care of our family." — Alyx Arumpac/CM/AMD, GMA News