Love conquers hate: The ‘holy union’ of 16 Eves

A rainbow flag greeted visitors at the entrance. Rose petals were scattered everywhere. There were priests, members of the church, and a school of media men armed with cameras and recorders documenting an unusual ceremony held under the roof of Mendoz covered court in Quezon City.

Then there were eight couples; their relatives and friends sitting on plastic chairs covered with colorful cloth alongside the red aisle. Suddenly, a soft, heartfelt instrumental started to play. Everyone was brought to reality that after a lifetime of waiting, they finally arrived in that moment.

The skies went grey. Lightnings struck sharp. The rain poured heavily. But the 16 souls sitting on the frontline were grinning from ear to ear— undisturbed by the apparent inclement weather. Their faces were marked with excitement; their eyes, with happiness. Love won, eight times over, at a mass wedding for lesbians on the last Sunday of the Gay Pride month.

Mary Grace, 20, bursts into tears as she delivers her wedding vow to partner, Nadel, 25.

“I am so happy. I love her so much that it feels so right to have finally married her,” said Mary Grace Timkang, a 20-year-old lady weeping with tears of joy after having wed her lesbian partner for three months, Nadel Ambayec, 25.

Mary Grace and Nadel have been in a relationship for three months now.

The two are the youngest among the eight couples who flocked to the venue. To be able to arrive at that moment took them a lot of hurdles to conquer as detractors were very eager to put their relationship down. Nadel’s auntie, an avid follower of a certain religious sect, even warned her not to bring Mary Grace to their house ever.

“She hates our relationship. She thinks my affair with another woman is abominable and disgusting,” she said.

Same-sex marriage in the eyes of the church

The church, especially the Catholic denomination from which roughly 80 percent of our population belong, has been opposing homosexuality and the legalization of same-sex marriage since time immemorial.

The format of the wedding was patterned after both the Catholic and Protestant rituals.

In fact, the Catholic Bishops Conference of the Philippines (CBCP) urged its followers in 2015 to actively campaign against the massive clamor of Filipino Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transgenders (LGBTs) and their supporters to finally legalize marriage equality law in the country.

“There are absolutely no grounds for considering homosexual unions to be similar or even remotely analogous to God’s plan for marriage and the family,” said the CBCP.

While Pope Francis has been very vocal on respecting all people including the homosexuals, he stressed that the Catholic opposition to same-sex marriage continues as the "true meaning of the couple and of human sexuality in God's plan" is matrimony between a biological woman and a biological man alone.

Same-sex marriage in the eyes of the state

To this date, no law has been passed yet that legalizes same-sex marriage in the conservative nation. Thus, Filipino homosexual couples remain illegitimate partners in the eyes of the law of the land regardless of having been wed by any church of any religion in the country.

Article 1 of the Philippine Family Code defines marriage as a "special contract of permanent union between a man and a woman entered into in accordance with law for the establishment of conjugal and family life." In 1998, Senator Marcelo Fernan submitted Senate Bill No. 897 and 898 to bar transgender individuals from getting married by integrating the word “biological” to the actual definitions of such.

Dhey and Marilyn came from two broken relationships.

In the Philippines, homosexual couples are denied with essential legal advantages which only married couples can enjoy. On top of the list is the inability of the former to merge their financial assets for the reason that they are not legal partners— exactly the problem of the eldest couple in this year’s mass wedding-- Dhey Nanola, 42, and Marilyn Atones, 43.

“I want to combine my properties with her so if anything happens to me, my wife and her children will be financially secured,” said Nanola. “But since the state does not recognize us as a legal couple, I had to find other ways to a make that possible.”

Dhey plans to put up a business and make Marilyn her professional partner, that way, they could have their chattels combined and their future secured.

Same-sex marriage in the eyes of the society

The mass wedding is held under the basketball court in Project 8, Quezon City.

In the height of the legalization of marriage equality law in the United States in 2015, Laylo Research Strategies conducted a survey among Filipinos which revealed that 7 out of 10 Filipinos are actually reluctant to same-sex marriage.

This debunks the notion that the Philippines is one of  the most gay-friendly countries in the world, as per the study conducted by the US-based Pew Research Center.

As most Filipino homosexuals ask: is there a chance that same-sex marriage will be passed into a law?

Mykel Andrada, sociologist, said the passage of marriage equality law is possible given that people will unite to push for it. “As with any other LGBTQI issue or concern, it needs a community and collective action to win struggles.”

‘The church of demons’

When everyone seemed to have turned their backs, homosexuals themselves took the first steps towards allowing homosexuals to experience how it feels like to be wed by a church free from restrictions and judgments.

The year 2011 was the birth of a Christian church that currently earns the ire of the conservatives and high praises from the LGBT community for defying the dictates of the established denominations that wedding rites should only be exclusive between couples of opposite sex –LGBTs Christian Church.

Three priests lead this year’s mass wedding; all of whom are homosexuals.

Reverend Crescencio Agbayani, founder and head priest of the said church, said humans—regardless of race, age, religion and gender— are entitled to right to love and marriage.

For five years now, his church has held more than 700 same-sex weddings from different parts of the globe. With this, Agbayani and the entire church has always been at the center of bashing—online and offline.

“I am often bombarded with below-the-belt messages.  People call me abominable, insane, immoral and demonic for holding same-sex holy unions over the past years,” he shared.

Despite of the massive backlash and repugnance, Agbayani vows to continue what he and his church have started. “As long as there is no marriage equality law in the country, and as long as there are homosexual couples seeking for the blessing of the church, we will never stop.”

The relatives and friends of the eight lesbian couples joined the wedding to stand as witnesses.

As for the lesbian couples who attended the mass wedding on Sunday, the illegality of their union does matter anymore as what’s important is that they were able to confess their love for their partner in front of many people with the blessing of a church that embraces them. ---BMS, GMA Public Affairs

Nadel and Mary grace kiss right after they exchanged vows.