GAME REVIEW: Glorious heavy metal carnage in ‘Bardbarian’

There is perhaps nothing more metal than a beefed-up, sweaty, half-naked barbarian wielding an enormous battle axe into battle. Which is perhaps why this synergy of medieval brutality and hard-rockin’ riffs works so well in BulkyPix’s “Bardbarian.”
 
In Bardbarian, you play as Brad, a disillusioned barbarian-for-hire who’s sick of his violent, hack-and-slash ways. So he does what any good disillusioned barbarian does: he takes his war-axe and reforges it into a lute. A heavy metal lute, to be precise.
 
Armed with his shiny new “Axe-Lute”, Brad will use the power of ear-shattering symphonies to incite his fellow villagers to rally against hordes of goblin and undead invaders. It’s loud, it’s totally bonkers, and it’s inarguably one of the most enjoyable games on the iOS today.
 

Shredding with a different kind of axe
 
Bardbarian is equal parts tower defense and arcade shoot-em-up, with a sprinkling of RPG in the form of stat and unit upgrades. While that might sound a tad confusing, the game itself is actually very simple.
 
Your main task is to protect the village crystal from the enemy monsters who want it destroyed. Because Brad has given up his axe to become a headbangin’ bard, however, he no longer does any of the actual fighting. The village’s defenders will therefore have to be recruited – or perhaps, more appropriately, “inspired” to fight those monsters for you. This is where Brad’s musicianship comes in.
 
As soon as a level begins, Brad will automatically start shredding his discordant tunes on his Axe-Lute. Doing so will generate “notes”, which is what you will use to “buy” warriors. The longer Brad plays, the more notes he will build up, and the more friendly units he can invite to his party. With a bevy of archers, mages, or brawlers by your side, you then run around town offing the monsters before they can reach the crystal and shatter it.
 

 
Notes can also be used to purchase buffs, the likes of which can temporarily boost the damage your party members deal, your movement speed, and your defense.
 
The action itself is fast, often chaotic, and always incredibly challenging. You will find yourself escaping by the skin of your teeth as you dodge magic missiles and weave through mobs of baddies, whose numbers grow quickly from a manageable few to barely survivable. Succeeding will entail experimentation with which unit combinations work best, and grinding.
 
Headbanging frenzy of friends and foes
 
One of the allures of Bardbarian is the diversity of its friendly units. Split into two camps (Barracks, which produces units with physical attacks, and College, where magic-users hail from), these include Brawlers, powerful yet short-ranged attackers; star-flinging Ninjas, who look like they were ripped straight out of Mortal Kombat; my personal favorite, the Necromancer, who can transform dead baddies into exploding zombies; and more.

There are even super units. One is the Engineer, who builds turrets when the party is at rest, and another is the Storm Knight, a mechanical beast of a warrior with a laser cannon for one arm, and who wields a gigantic sword, to boot.
 
 
The bad guys are pretty varied, too. Though you will confront the usual cannon fodder in the form of goblins (or orcs, whatever they are), expect a tougher challenge from later contenders. What will truly test your mettle, however, are the boss monsters, which you will have to slay in order to move on to the next chapter. So don’t expect to breeze through the entire game in one sitting; Bardbarian grows in difficulty fairly quickly, so that you will often have to find new ways to keep up.
 
Thankfully, killing monsters will award you with coins, with which you can upgrade your units, Brad’s abilities, and the town itself. For example, you can spend some coins on Brad to improve his note generation rate. By purchasing the “town pet” upgrade, you will be given a scampering little critter known as a “ratcoon”, which will pick up coins and other loot for you. This is where the grinding comes in; you will find yourself replaying levels to earn those coins so you can upgrade all the tools at your disposal. It’s a good thing Bardbarian is a lot of fun to play, making grinding an enjoyable enterprise as opposed to a frustrating exercise in tedium.
 

 
Jammin’ with style
 
I am not particularly fond of the art direction, though I'm sure many will find its simple cartoonish-ness charming, at its worst the art looks to me like something thrown together by college-level digital artists pulling an all-nighter. That the entire game takes place in a single village doesn’t help; the environment, and its lack of detail, quickly grew boring to me.
 
But then again, this is developer TreeFortress’ first game. And it’s an iOS game, at that, not a triple-A production, so I suppose the slight shabbiness can be forgiven.
 
The music is another story. Featuring tunes from the band “Maximum Satan”, the soundtrack is a rousing collection of heavy metal anthems sure to keep your feet tapping and your head nodding as you slaughter wave after wave of enemies.
 
Get medieval!
 
As the first offering from developer TreeFortress, Bardbarian succeeds on many levels. The hectic, nonstop action is addictive; the numerous upgrade options allow opportunities for near-endless customization; and its heavy, rockin’ soundtrack will stick in your skull like a well-polished war axe. When it comes to great action/strategy games for iOS devices, Bardbarian is as hardcore as they come. And at a measly $0.99, it’s a steal.
 
Simply put, Bardbarian ROCKS. — VC, GMA News